Well I just though I would let you all know how im doing. My history quickly…. Started taking drugs at 13, ended up injecting speed and smoking heroin at 16, injecting heroin, 17, was homeless in London for a couple of years, ended up injecting heroin and crack, got on methadone about 6 years ago blah blah.. been clean from heroin and crack for over two years now, I spent two years reducing my methadone from 120mls daily to 10mls (probably the longest, hardest, drawn out detox) and switched to subutex (buprenorphine) 3 months ago at 8mg, Ive now got myself down to .8mg and I only have a week and a half left before im totally clean from opiates for the first time since 16! (im now 26) Bloody hell what a journey, no feckin way am i goin back there again..
So yeah, im ill most of the time, in slight withdrawls but its manageable, Im just worried about when I stop completely if im gonna get really sick suddenly, from what ive researched its ok. The whole point of doing it this way is to get your life back together enough and do it slowly enough that you can cope. Its the mental side of its thats difficult, physical withdrawls are shite but there manageable if your strong. Emotionally ive so fuckked up my natrual endorphine system Im like a dog on heat one minute and morbid the next. I was looking it up and its well documented that opiate abuse and withdrawl causes low dopamine, dopamine,seratonine and noradadrenaline ar partly produced in the opiate receptors (mu, kappa and Orl1) so when u take the opiates away your body can take years to recover and produce these on its own. So anyway I take a specific dopamine anti-depressant now (the usual SSRI’s did nothing) and it definately helps. :love:
All in all, life is good, im studying hard, doing my counselling diploma (gonna be a drugs counsellor) I always used to set myself targets, my 27th I wanna be clean by and i will be. Ill always be an addict, I still look in the cupboard to see what i can take, ive taken ibuprofen just to take something?? But its ok.
So my warning, Anyone who is starting out, smokin gear to come down from a weekend like I did don’t! Its taken most of my adult life and the hardest struggle im sure ill ever face to get off it, the stigma of it, my health has gone down the pan, I have fukked veins (i have to take my own blood in hospital still!) Ive been diagnosed with crohns disease, I have coeliac disease and various food allergies (which i never had before and is shit cos i want a cake) along with the usual asthma (from smokin crack) post nasal drip (excess mucous running down my throat, from snorting coke and k) and arthritis!!
Pleas be careful people, I hope this goes some way to inform of the pitfalls!
Peace, Gary :love::love::love::love::love::love:
