I started to write this in another thread but decided to move it here as it would have been a thread hijack :groucho:
I find alcohol very hard to handle in a day to day scenario as it stirs up very unpleasant memories of life at home before I realised my dad was an alcoholic [my family pretended nothing was wrong or unusual about the amount he drank until quite recently :you_crazy] :hopeless:
All it takes is to see someone having a half bottle of wine a day for several days to set off the bad memories and I start to feel uncomfortable. If the drinker becomes morose and grouchy so much the worse. If they start to have a go at me or anyone else around them they are someone I will very likely scratch off my friends list.
I do not understand why people feel they have to get drunk to say what they mean to others – if you say stuff when you are sober you are likely to be more in control of what you say and how you say it. To my mind this is good – to have to lower your inhibitions just to say what you think tells me that an individual is repressed and likely a well of simmering resentments and related anger. Learn to say what you mean without the dutch courage of alcohol – you will feel better for it as a person and not get carried away and say nasty shit to others because you are feeling mean and nasty [as a result of being drunk]
Generally one thing getting said will lead to another and another and an avalanche of buried resentments starts and the wipeout which results may not be to anybodies taste at the end of the day:hopeless: [More so if the drunk then claims the next day to (conveniently to my mind) not remember what was said and therefore cant understand why the other person is being glacial to their overtures] Be sure, if you are the drunk we could be discussing [if the cap fits wear it :groucho:], that what was said will be carved in a sober person’s memory especially if it was hurtful and not blurred in recall by the alcohol. I have many such memories of things said to me in alcohol which are vivid to this day :hopeless: I now know they were not true but they still cause/d me pain and heartache and have created a distance between me and my father [which is unbridgeable as there is no longer any trust on my side of the relationship this having been systematically destroyed by his drunken outbursts].
I still struggle with the tendency among my friends’ friends to drink to excess and do it often – me I cant see the attraction it has for them. There are better ways of having fun out there for me than alcohol and I will not tolerate attempts to shell out emotional, mental or physical abuse to me or others around me which are committed in alcohol.
Having said all of this, alcohol is one of the most easily available drugs around and lots of people have trouble with it. You can buy it easily and it is up to you to work out how much is enough for you – only you can do it and do anything about it.
I can tell you I dont like you when you have been drinking but it is up to you what you do about it. {this is where I came in in the other thread:wink:} If you decide drinking is more important to you than my friendship thats up to you; if I value you as a friend I may try again but I will not stick around if you decide you dont want to change. If you choose to carry on drinking then I will exercise my right to choose too and will walk away from you as I am not prepared to watch another person become stuck inside the bottle with the warped views and self indulgent whining this eventually brings with it after a few years.:hopeless:
I dont mind people who drink to moderation and within sensible limits – I have a fair few friends who do this and they have been my friends for years and the alcohol hasnt been an issue for me with them :weee::weee::weee: They have restored my faith in people being able to handle their alcohol :love::love::love:
