I was at home, had a session with my bro and a few others. It was hardly anything compared to what i’ve done in past. I hit a bong to end night and my mate stacey went up to bed and i was just standing there brain dead like.. shiiit this is fuckin weird. Iād done about 3g of Meow, and under half of K and C, mixed with beers (a few) and then ended with that bong at 4amā¦ā¦
I Stood there for 5 minutes looking at my mantlepiece in living room.. heard stacey come down askin if i was ok (it was like really faint) n i was like yeah.. staggered to kitchen, couldnt get a drink so thought fuck it i need to lie down.. at bottom of stairs i started feeling faint and that i couldnt walk and instantly knew something was not right.. i walked up stairs (barely) past stacey and said i dont feel right, somethings wrong… and then somehow kept calm, got undressed and got into bed.. she switched light on and was like tom.. are you ok? apparently i just looked at her and went “i need an ambulance, quickly” ……………… shiiit mate its making me choke up big time thinking about itā¦ My whole body was been taken over with this vibration, and numbness. I was going tight all over and felt like someone was choking me.. and my chest was exploding in pain. This all came out of nowhereā¦.
Next thing she was on phone to them, i’m lying there and could just feel myself fading away. My heart went fucking insane and my body felt like it was shutting down with tingling, then numbness.
She got off phone and was just like strokin my face or something, i couldnt move or hardly breathe… then everything just started closing in on me, like i was fading away… it was simply fucking sickening man. Traumatising. I could see her tryin not to cry and was like “stacey get them to hurry please” etc.. then she ran downstairs cos they had got there. Those 5 minutes seemed like forever, alone in the room… lying on my bed unable to move or even speak. My vision started fading from the corners going dark… and i remember life flashing before my eyes, thinking about my mum and dad… what would happen if i died in my bed, knew i was sorta slipping away into somewhere baaad man. I just thought fight it, stay awake, donāt let your mind slip asleep. I have never experienced a feeling of i’m about to die.. You wont know what its like until you’ve been there……………. its scary, horrible and very traumatising, yet eerily calm. Next thing paramedics are there and they whisk me up, put all sorts of shit over and inject me with something (to counter act the heart or something, I canāt even remember the name) and then take me off straight to hospital. I was in a bad, bad bad place man… Stacey just holding my hand whilst i’m fucked… apparently my breathing was fucked up big time and i was sweating buckets… but had hypothermia setting in and was basically fitting – body was shaking like mad. I was slipping in and out of consciousness and can vaguely remember this. Apparently my eyes were popping out of my head and were also red raw ā from where the blood had sucked up into my brain or something ā to do with oxygen?
Dont remember much else except i was conscious through whole thing. It was horrible man… afte about 4 hours my mind started coming back and there would be moments where i was calm and thought i was coming ok.. then i’d remember that feeling of about to die and i’d start hyperventilating and hear the machines go nuts and feel my heart almost bursting……. everytime i thought about it i was just going back to how i was.. it was insanely mental..
Mate its really upsetting. I could of died on my bed in my own house…. my mum would of been ruined. Everytime I go back to that moment of being in my bed and seeing my vision, feeling that terrorā¦.. it rips me to pieces.
Its a new emotion learned – my life went before my eyes mate, i had to fight for it…… they said if I hadn’t of called an ambulance so soon i would of probably died where I was as my body was almost shutting itself down and they stopped me having a full blown heart attack.
Now, I canāt be in the house aloneā¦ I get freaked out. I need to have people around.. even if theyāre just in another room or whatever. Think my mind is messed from it and will take some time to recover..
Lesson learnt…………………………… i’m sure the mephedrone had something to do with it but the doctors said it was definitely the combination, but that the cocaine has probably heightened all the problems and that it was the most dangerous drug in the cocktail i’d taken.
I’ve never felt the air on my skin feel so good or smell so nice… its just madness
I’m still going to be a fucking raver, but i’m cutting myself out the game for a while… need to get my head over this one.
Iām wondering if Iāll ever take drugs again. Iām 27 and have done them since I was 15 ā this was a miniscule amount compared to what Iāve done session wise in the past. I know it will be hard sometimes but when it comes to Meow, R/Cās, Cocaine or Ketamine ā I will always stay far, far away from it. Forever ā I am too terrified to even smoke a bit of weed at the moment but enjoy it now and again so will work on that one.
Iāve never experience the body feelings I got ā they terrorised me. I thought Iād share this with you guys, dunno why ā just so you know what can happen. Even if youāre a fully experienced drug user whoās taken thousands over your life. Pills, 2ce, 2cb, DMT, 5meo, 4aco, K, C, Meow, whateverā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ just remember your never immune.
big up xx
EDIT: Sorry about the “mates” – i copied and pasted from a message i wrote to a friend and edited it slightly – no point in typing the whole thing up – going over it scares me. I think thats possibly the best way to deal with it though.
