I don’t think its easy and has got even harder with more permissive and tolerant societies which accept a culture of instant gratification. Signals can be misread, and people do impulsive things particularly when they are fond of taking substance what affect judgement. Realistically as a bloke if you have a friend who is a single female who is vaguely attractive you are going to think about getting with her at least once. and increasingly people don’t even care about driving a wedge between a existing relationship, especially if they think they can escape detection.
A further problem I have noticed in recent times (I don’t mean to be sexist or arrogant as its a unintended and unwanted consequence of other successes in life) is on face value I look like I’d probably make a good “sugar daddy” – then there’s the liberal thinking persons racial stereotype (they have them too) that a single Asian male who has not had arranged marriage or is held down by strong religion is “game for anything”.
I live in a place which isn’t a complete dump but does have its social deprivation problems, and thus attract an alarming amount of jailbait (the rave scene here was full of precocious 14-16 year old girls, which was yet another reason the feds clamped down on it) and also single mums on the rebound from sketchy and abusive former relationships looking for a more dependable partner/stepdad (so you’ve still got to deal with the jealousy and security risks from the biological dad and as I said previously I’d end up having a of my own kid just to compensate which is plain wrong)
TBH even though I am a straight male who is only sexually attracted to girls/woman of a reasonable age range I find that increasingly any form of friendship with anyone of any gender carries a fuckload of emotional baggage and security risks, as society has become ever more fractured and competitive – people my age are wary about my lifestyle and past, younger friends take way too many risks what can get a group arrested/judged and its a small world here, not London, and even there you aren’t 100% secure..
I used to be shy but got over it and now I find myself deliberately leading a relatively solitary and reclusive lifestyle but I wouldn’t swap it to be in my 20s again and in the frontline of the party/music scene even if given a chance to do so!
