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My ex has not initiated sending me a personal message in the month since he decided his feelings for me were “complicated” and sent me a breakup e-mail. For background info, basically, he was married for 19 years; his wife cheated on him; he has been divorced for 15 years; and he erected emotional barriers/defenses.
He has forwarded me a few humorous/political e-mails and liked/commented on some of my Facebook statuses, especially in the last few days. I have not initiated contact, except for one time when I slipped up. Other than that, he hasn’t heard from me. I’ve been staying busy. I’m fairly certain he knows I’ve just started dating again. I know for a fact he isn’t seeing anyone.
Yesterday, though, a month after the breakup, he sent me a private, personal Facebook message: “For what it’s worth, I feel bad about the situation, and I’m sorry.”
I responded by saying, “You made your decision, and that’s fine. Water under the bridge. I’m getting on with my life. There is no malice, nothing to be sorry about.” I asked him if he would gather some books he wanted to me leave at his house last time I was there and put them on his front porch Wednesday before he gets home from work. (They’re out-of-print local history photo books, and I sure as hell want them back. I asked for them two weeks ago, and he said he’d get them to me but hasn’t.) He responded, saying he would leave them on the porch Wednesday.
Why are his intentions in telling me a month later that he feels “bad”? (I’m not a counselor or a priest, by the way.) What did he expect me to say to his message? What does he want from me? Is this a ploy for reconciliation? Or just an egotistical attempt to expunge guilt?
