Forums › Drugs › Ecstasy & MDMA › ecstasy never worked for me, its anoying me at his point?
ive tried ecstasy a total of four times – and all four times were a waste. bare wit me while i explain why.
the first time i tried it i was stressing and overthinking it and ended up freaking out when i was coming up (dont actually remember feeling like i was coming up, or like i needed to vomit) but i do remember vomiting for 40 mins straight in the bathrooms of a club, and my jaws and eyes were going mad. strange thing is, it was actually almost like an orgasmic wave sweeping through my body and it ended as me needing to get sick, if that makes sense? even getting sick felt good. and i felt happy, and knowing that my boyfriend was outside the bathroom door waiting for me made me even happier, and loved up. a girl in the bathrooms recognised the xtc symptoms straight away and came in the stall with me (i still praise her every time i talk about this, i would have been terrified without her) and looked after me, reassuring me it was normal – and i responded by asking her if she was undercover hahahaha. she finally got me to stop being sick, and i wanted to hit the dancefloor but my bf told me i looked out of it and the bouncers were asking questions (how classy and attractive) so we went back to my bfs, we had a really deep talk and we both felt really loved up and had amazing sex.
the second time i was around people i didnt know, or trust, and i was freezing cold (think crappy/rainy irish/uk weather, around 9pm, wearing tights & shorts and a flimsy top with a tiny leather jacket and we were outdoors the whole time) i was so cold i just wanted to sit down with my knees up on my chest – i also felt quite depressed. shit buuuzz. ended up grabbing a taxi back to my bfs. worst experience on any substance ever, i just had a strong urge to leave and go to more familiar, warmer, quieter surroundings, the urge being so strong i was almost crying.
third time i just took a key bump or two, and i didnt really overthink it this time coz i was already drinking, it lifted my spirits a tiny bit (i went from being bored to being mildly amused) but colours seemed brighter and deeper which was nice.
the fourth time i swallowed half and stuck the other half in two rizlas and ‘bombed’ them – this time, i was just sort of in a good introvert mood, didnt say much, but felt content, and moving cars were kinda shinier, as were neon lights, and just more pleasant to look at.
WHY ON EARTH cant I have a normal experience on xtc? ive heard its one of the best drugs ever but it seems to refuse to let me enjoy it! i tried coke twice, the first time was the best night ive had in a while, i was full of energy and confidence, and the second time was okay. considering its expensive and addictive, i wont be rushing to do it again, but i really want to actually enjoy xtc. any idea on what i could do next time, to properly enjoy it? do u think im just the type that prefers taking e indoors with my bf and a cup of tea? ive heard of ppl using it like that.
also, i noticed the first two times i did, my bf and i connected more and talked alot more intimately – we proper opened up to each other, in ways that i never opened up to anyone before. recently we’ve been going through a really rough patch – do you think a night in with dinner and then an e or two each could make us open up and wave the white flag? im not one to actually ENCOURAGE drug use, and find excuses to use it, but i actually read that it can heal depression and it does get you on a love buzz, so what do you think?
@tat91 500929 wrote:
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WHY ON EARTH cant I have a normal experience on xtc?
Your experiences were not that unusual. It’s a drug, it changes your state of mind, but it does not magically open doors to happiness – you are more likely to be more social and open, less fearful, but fear is an inhibition, and some people have very strong inhibitions.
@tat91 500976 wrote:
i actually read that it can heal depression and it does get you on a love buzz, so what do you think?
Temporarily, yes. Most users have a downswing, depressed feeling after an E-buzz, as the body replaces used energy (on e – you tend to shake and move a lot more, burn more energy. You have to replace that energy with food and sleep). However, if you can ONLY feel happy on e, then there’s a problem.
Very often, people will remember the feelings of being “pilled up” and can actually recreate the vibe without needing the drug. At best I would rate it for helping overcome inhibitions, making people more open to new experiences, less prone to fear… but it’s not absolutely necessary. It can help, but dependence is not really a path to anything – bit of a dead end.
All just my opinion of course.
@Pat McDonald 500988 wrote:
It can help, but dependence is not really a path to anything – bit of a dead end.
All just my opinion of course.
Thanx Pat you’ve answered quite a few of my questions. I absolutely love this forum now.
Yeah, I don’t plan on getting addicted. My bf used to take E almost every day for a few years when he was younger and going through rough family times, now he just takes them when going out the odd weekend.
I’m in uni studying Law (oh the irony right?!) so I’ve no plans on getting hooked. But the potentially therapeutic side to E sounds interesting and I know the first two times we took them together it brought us closer coz we ended up with a lot of time where it was just the two of us talking and cuddling. I might bring it up but I’ll just stress that this isn’t a remedy for every argument we have in the future, its just a once-off coz we both just want to get this ‘rough patch’ over and done with and move on.
P.s Do you think E is even addictive? I heard its psychologically addictive which I think is why he took it for years when he was dealing with a lot of shit as a young teenager. But I’ve never heard of an actual E addict.
the first pill dealer I knew in the 90s was a female law student (though things were a lot different then).
As Pat said, your own experiences are perfectly normal especially for todays era – many people confuse the effects of the drugs with the more optimistic, friendlier times of the 1990s which were fuelled by seemingly unlimited resources and economic growth, leading to a society which didn’t care as much what others got up to anyway. But these times are now gone in Europe even if MDMA and other drugs are just as strong if not better than ever before (due to advances in science and the clever young Chinese discovering raves and parties!).
The drugs do still work – its just that society doesn’t and you are clearly a smart young lady who is aware of her own safety and surroundings with a strong survival instinct, which is needed more than ever before these days.
The issue with self-medication with party drugs to stop life problems (though it does work in the short term) is that there is often no one there to tell you when to stop – and psychological dependence although not physically damaging can be mentally damaging (I know many people my age with varying amounts of serious mental health problems from their overuse of party drugs in their youth, and this is what has led to the backlash against drug friendly clubs in my area which is a coastal area near Holland…)
Ha I don’t think I’d go as far as selling them 🙂
Wow, you don’t really hear of that side of drugs at parties. My bf and his friends are a year younger than me but have done a good few drugs (ive only tried e and coke and obviously weed) and sadly seem to be oblivious to the dangers. Considering he took them everyday for years, maybe bringing up a new excuse to do them is not the best thing for him. I trust myself to use it once to just re-ignite the fire or whatever you want to call it, but maybe if I do mention it I’ll just be opening the floodgates for him practically looking for an excuse to take E.
Yes, I’ve heard that in Ireland, the E that was around for those that are now aged 30-40 was much stronger, and in fact that is why most of the heroin addicts you see around Dublin are that age – coz they took heroin to come down off the E and ended up hooked. I guess my generation is just unlucky. Or perhaps lucky depending on how you see it.
@tat91 501041 wrote:
Yes, I’ve heard that in Ireland, the E that was around for those that are now aged 30-40 was much stronger, and in fact that is why most of the heroin addicts you see around Dublin are that age – coz they took heroin to come down off the E and ended up hooked. I guess my generation is just unlucky. Or perhaps lucky depending on how you see it.
This story goes around in England as well but in reality the pills back then were no more stronger than what can be got today from good sources, fake ones were common (though more likely to be simply ineffective than contain dangerous substitutes) and in my area younger people do still sometimes get addicted to opiates and benzos as well as a way of “coming down”.
I did briefly do a bit of MDMA in my 30s and it was as strong as it was back in the day, but the parties themselves weren’t as friendly or safe as before so I stopped bothering with them.
The majority of my age group even if they partied in the past have grown up and found something else in life other than constant drug use – the addicts of my age you might see have had other major life setbacks. Round here there are as many addicts in their 20s and 30s now (the ones I see in town are way younger than me) and since the economic depression has made it worse as not surprisingly they see little reason to try and get clean as there isn’t much else in life to look forward to if you don’t have a job or supportive friends/family group.
@General Lighting 501042 wrote:
The majority of my age group even if they partied in the past have grown up and found something else in life other than constant drug use – the addicts of my age you might see have had other major life setbacks. Round here there are as many addicts in their 20s and 30s now (the ones I see in town are way younger than me) and since the economic depression has made it worse as not surprisingly they see little reason to try and get clean as there isn’t much else in life to look forward to if you don’t have a job or supportive friends/family group.
Yeah, that’s exactly what’s wrong with people my age (20) in Dublin atm, especially around rougher areas, although I have to say I don’t see many drug addicts my age, but you can tell that a lot of the lads you see walking around town use recreational drugs especially coke, a bit much. Nothing like the older heroin addicts I see floating around though.
I would not suggest anyone tries opiates for recreational use (I have only occasionally taken them due to some minor but recurrent health issues with knees and back) it takes longer than people think to get badly addicted (to the point they become homeless and wandering the streets). Europe is more tolerant than it was in the 80s, young people do get a fair bit of leeway to sort themselves out from 16-35 but if they continue to feed their addictions in the later part of their youth (35-45) society gets “less sympathetic” (in reality its a simple lack of resources to keep propping up people and giving them repeated chances to sort out if they aren’t interested)..
most people I know here (similar coastal area to Dublin TBH) give up regular drug use by their mid 20s anyway…
I’m quite shy in real life so pills did briefly help me in the 1990s, but I’ve recently taken on a volunteer rôle as an engineer for a local radio station, where I need to speak to all manner of people from every kind of background (dance DJ’s (many of whom don’t do drugs contrary to stereotypes), business managers, foreign people) and if I was still taking party drugs it would freak me out big time and its easier to deal with all these people whilst straight (not even been drinking all this week and I normally like my booze as well..)
I would agree the atmosphere is what directs the buzz, I used to take pills every Friday night and in the right kind of club or house party they were brilliant nights, loved every minute of them, loved the music, the lights, loved everyone around me…… BUT you try taking a pill in a drinking club you will stand out, get funny looks, and end up have a paranoid shit time. Also temperature is important for coming up, IMO you come up faster in the warm, but when up you want to avoid overheating, best spot on the dancefloor was often under the aircon where the cold air felt wonderful & sent waves up the spine.
On the quality of pills, I cant speak for todays as Im out of the scene and dont know any decent dealers any more, most grew up & settled down, a few ended up busted, some just moved away and lost contact with. But in the days I did, pills were either dropping in potency every year or my tolerance got to high, possibly combination of the both.
On the sick bit, the urge to purge is perfectly natural with Es, you just have to hold it down and it passes.
On the alcohol bit, mixing pills and alcohol is stupid, at best the alcohol lessens the effects of the pill, at worst…. well look at the details of E related deaths and almost all include mixing with alcohol. Some drugs just dont mix well.
On self prescribing for depression or taking daily, thats a big NO NO. MDMA is a recreational drug suitable for occasional use, you cant stay UP forever and as with all highs, it is followed by lows.
@Mezz 501058 wrote:
On the alcohol bit, mixing pills and alcohol is stupid, at best the alcohol lessens the effects of the pill, at worst…. well look at the details of E related deaths and almost all include mixing with alcohol. Some drugs just dont mix well.
On the alcholol bit some MDMA goes very well and I find it enhances the experience – it depends how much you take. The problem is if your not are off your head (everyone is different and has there levels) you can be so much more sociable and empathic it gives such a buzz. I’m just saying don’t diss the alchohol if it improves your night out and your talk and creativity. Everything in moderation is good!
@Designerdrugs 502021 wrote:
On the alcholol bit some MDMA goes very well and I find it enhances the experience – it depends how much you take. The problem is if your not are off your head (everyone is different and has there levels) you can be so much more sociable and empathic it gives such a buzz. I’m just saying don’t diss the alchohol if it improves your night out and your talk and creativity. Everything in moderation is good!
Really not advisable for a first timer though – best to just enjoy the buzz on its own without any kind of other drug doing battle with it in your system. Welcome to PV anyway man, enjoy.
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Forums › Drugs › Ecstasy & MDMA › ecstasy never worked for me, its anoying me at his point?
