Party Vibe

Before i begin I’d like to apologize for any grammatical errors in my post, I’m typing this on my phone. Thank you.

A little background, i was first introduced to my husband through my ex boyfriend, they grew up together. My husband was in a relationship just like me, all four of us hung out a couple of times. I was always attracted to my husband, just never acted on it because i was in a relationship at that time.My husband had been using Meth for roughly 8 years prior to us getting together, and i was going on a year of use. The couple that i was using with happened to be my husbands ex girlfriend and my ex boyfriends brother. (we all know each other, its weird, i know)

September 28th, 2011 was the night me and my husband got together. i was using with them and my ex’s brother suggested he go pick up my husband so we all could smoke. When they get back there is a relatively good amount of tension in the room, my husband was around his ex, and i was attempting to nonchalantly flirt with him while she’s sitting there. A couple of hours go by and my husbands ex and her boyfriend start fighting and they ended up telling us that they wanted us to leave so they could spend time with themselves.

I still had a good amount of Meth left so i invited my husband back to my place to finish smoking. That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. We got back to my place and finished off our sack and sat out on the balcony and talked for hours. We talked about literally everything from past growing up, previous relationships, what we want in life and everything in between. We both realized how much we had in common.

After our heart to heart we went inside and ended up hooking up. Time stood still. Afterwards we went out to my car to have a cigarette and i couldn’t help myself, i started crying. I felt like an idiot. I mean who cries after sleeping with someone for the first time? I couldn’t help it though, i was so flooded with emotion. I was sure he’d leave, thinking either i was some kind of lunatic for crying, a whore for sleeping with him the first time we hung out or a homie hopper because my ex was one of his friends. My husband asked me what was wrong and i swear i tried to come up with a logical response in my head but instead i looked at him and said ‘i think I’m in love with you.’ I suppose it was the Meth that gave me the confidence to tell him how i actually felt, but as soon as the words escaped my mouth i instantly regretted it, fearing the ultimate rejection. His response was the exact opposite, my brain had to process it twice to make sure i heard him right, ‘i think I’m in love with you too’.’ I was shocked, dazed, and delighted. This kind of stuff only exists in sappy romance movies, and if it were to in real life, it definitely wouldn’t happen to a girl like me.

From that moment on, literally, we were inseparable, i cannot recall one single night being spent away from one another. As our relationship progressed, so did our addiction. It was one of the many things we had in common. Our casual weekend use an everyday use over the course of a year. Everything came to a head one night we rented a hotel room to get high and right at 6 am the cops were there to pick us both up on outstanding warrants. In addition, i was charged with paraphernalia, and he charged with possession of Meth. We were booked into jail,ion April 16th, 2012. I was able to get bonded out but he had to serve 30 days. That was the first time we had been away from each other and it was the longest 30 days of my life.

While he was in jail i went to court on my charge and was sentenced to drug court. When my husband was released we chose to stay sober because of my drug court. In June we came to the decision to have a child, as it would aid in our sobriety. We got pregnant almost immediately, two weeks after my birth control was removed. We didn’t think it would happen so fast, were terrified and frankly in no position to have this child. Neither one of us had jobs and we were living with his mother, she was/is the only person who supported us in or recovery and every decision we’ve made since.

In August my husband got a job at burger king working the dreaded graveyard shift. We were married one month later, September 29th, 2012 our one year anniversary. Marrying him was one of the best days of my entire life. And it came easy to us, our relationship was even better being sober. On march 8th, 2013 we welcomed our first little girl into the world, she is perfect. We soon realized that juggling everything life had to throw at us while being new parents was hard. It was hard to be ‘productive members of society’ but we stuck it out. One month after our daughter was born we purchased a car, he was promoted to shift manager at work and got a raise. We also celebrated a year of sobriety. They were huge accomplishments for us. i graduated drug court on October 28th, 2013. My husbands charges are still pending, unfortunately.

Shortly after my graduation we decided to have one last hoo rah with Meth before his court date. After not using for over s year and smoking again it was like the first time. I fell in love with him all over again.

I know Meth is bad, I’m living proof that it destroys lives. But i can’t hate it, because of Meth i was able to take a chance, say how i really felt and let myself fall in love.