Very much sounds like you need a new group of friends mate. If you can’t even relax and be yourself around them then you’re placing yourself in unhealthy social scenarios. But at least you seem to semi-acknowledge this. I spent 4 years hanging out with a group of ‘friends’. Smoking pot daily and doing a mass of other drugs with them. Took me a long time, too long, to realise they were using me because I had the money for the drugs and a parent free place to take them.
Turned out they were a bunch of ego tripping thieves that needed cocaine to reassure them how awesome they were. Fuck being associated with such a bunch of trolls. My social group is an awful lot smaller now but I’m happier for it in the long run.
Good luck in your search for some new peers.
