This feels odd, unnatural & out comfort zone –
Hi, I am battling a very surreal time in my life, sudden realisations, eye openers, life adjustments, my grandad is dying & after over 10years of pretty damaging experiences – physical, emotional & sexual abuse & not having anyone to talk to or feeling able to & I finally feel I’m ready…
I had my son when I was 17 & have had quite a dramatic journey together the past 10years both ups & downs – we’ve lived a few various places, nasty bf’s & drug habits etc & quite hard times with my son – he has Aspergers Syndrome & ADHD & 2 years ago had half his face ripped open by a dog bite & had reconstructive plastic surgery & one of my ex’s stole our dog etc but my main damaging issues are from 10years ago & affects my present life still –
I have NEVER talked about this… Ok, my first stepping stone on my healing journey to overcome past demons is about a phobia/fear that’s just suddenly appeared!
My current alterations & caused me to remove everyone from my life because I finally seen how they have treated me & they are all only out for themselves – I’ve tried loads to talk to everyone about my demons but noone cared!!!
& The past few months I have started to freak out if anyone touches me or comes too close – hugs, accidental bumps etc my usual reaction is move, so I twitch or jump, I feel claustrophobic, I feel panicky, knots my stomach, my arms tingle! I can’t let them do it anymore, I get paranoid about it & I shudder/twitch at just the thought!!! Now I can assume that we are all in agreement that this has been brought on by previous hidden away issues that haven’t been dealt with yet??? Ok now I stop talking cause I don’t know where to go from here? Very grateful for suggestions & thanks for listening… phew i can breathe now!!!
