I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following very good reasons:
-I do physical labour
-I work in great depths
-I plunge head first into everything I do
-I don´t get weekends or public holidays off
-I work in damp conditions
-I don´t get paid overtime
-I work in high temperatures
-My workplace is dark with poor ventilation
-My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Yours sincerely, the Penis
Dear Penis
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the adminstration rejects your request for the following reasons:
-You don´t work eight hours straight
-You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
-You don´t always follow the exact orders of the management team
-You don´t stay in your designated area and often visit other locations
-You don´t take the initiative. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
-You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
-You don´t always observe safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
-You will retire well before you are 65
-You are unable to work double shifts
-You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the task assigned to you
-You have been seen constantly entering, and exiting, the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely, The Management
