Suffolk and Family Values...

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Suffolk and Family Values…

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April 12, 2007 at 1:20 pm

#692059
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

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since moving here I’ve noticed that families are still really close compared to London/SE England….

Of course I don’t mean the obvious “inbreeding” jokes but I’ve noticed its almost like an Asian country , you get whole extended families socialising together from little kids to grandparents – and this is amongst the English community as well as the new immigrant communities.. raaa

I’ve noticed that amongst both young and old that even when people move “out of the parental home” they still end up with their parents/older relatives still living a few doors away, and people often still share houses with other generations of their family right up to their old age (not always in a “dependent” way either, but with everyone who can working and contributing to the household).

OK some of this is due to house prices and scarcity of affordable housing, and families still have disputes and disagreements but there definitely seems to be more cohesiveness round here.

Is this an EA thing or just something I’ve noticed because I don’t live in such an urban area any more?
April 12, 2007 at 1:23 pm

#883447
[deleted]

@[deleted]

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Around Oxford i havent seen many families like this, this, however we do have one i noticed at the weekend and they were a really scummy family.

Actually thinking about it, i have only ever seen the scummy ones doing this!
April 12, 2007 at 1:42 pm

#883442
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

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I assume you meant “scummy” and left out the c…

yes you here also you get chav/pikey groups of (usually) mums, kids and various other adults who may or may not be related, but in some areas I still see stuff like real families, and even proper mums and dads looking after kids together, and there seems to be more of this than in Reading.

All my friends seem to be on relatively good terms with their parents as well, OK they may not want to get phone calls from them when completely boxed ( :laugh_at:) and compared to what I remember about my younger life, their parents seem helpful and surprisingly supportive even about stuff like raving..

Its possible also a lot of people who are parents in East Anglia have been partying in their youth so if they survived it they are liable to be slightly more supportive though…
April 12, 2007 at 1:53 pm

#883448
[deleted]

@[deleted]

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General Lighting wrote:

I assume you meant “scummy” and left out the c…

Yeah i did GL sorry bad spelling issues still :you_crazy

It is nice when families spend time together though, i hardly see any of my family even though i still live with me olds! Usually they only see me hung over or after a big night out.

Its a shame that i dont see as much of my family, but even my parents say “We are a modern working family” only in the last couple of weeks have we all started to sit down and have a meal together once a week. I think the main problem is the fact we all work full time and our hours are all different.

I do find that when i go back up north to see my relatives they all get together a lot and all live in the same town.

One thing is though, i do enjoy being away from my family. Yes i love them dearly but some time i just want to get a shot gun and kill em all! (not that i would). Just typical family, they just become annoying!

:group_hug
April 12, 2007 at 4:05 pm

#883445
1

globalloon

@globalloon

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i saw more of my mother when i lived in southern france than now i live about 10 miles away from her. my choice. the novelty of living close to parents can wear pretty thin, no matter how nice they are as people. she does make a valuable babysitter sometimes though
April 13, 2007 at 1:22 pm

#883443
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

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globalloon wrote:

i saw more of my mother when i lived in southern france than now i live about 10 miles away from her. my choice. the novelty of living close to parents can wear pretty thin, no matter how nice they are as people. she does make a valuable babysitter sometimes though

I think provided your elder relatives are prepared to give you space it doesn’t cause too many problems,

although its very common amongst Asian families. We no longer “all live in the same house” any more, we just end up buying 3 in the same town within 10 minutes of each other :laugh_at:

Its even very common to move away from home for a bit and then find your parents coming back to live with you as they get older!

This also happened to another work colleague of mine – he’s older than me, married and a dad of 3 but his parents lived firstly in the same house then up the road from him for years – until they got tired of the British weather (they claimed it made them unhealthy) and went back to Pakistan..

At the moment although I own a house here (I pay for the mortgage on this place), my mum sometimes stays here when she is not in Reading or Kuala Lumpur (she has to stay a certain time in the UK or she will lose her visa).

I still get plenty of time on my own – its also a temporary arrangement as she intends to emigrate soon to become a teacher in an orphanage, as she is classed as “too old” to teach in the UK..

A lot of people with Western backgrounds (but not all) are surprised by this but its not so much an arrangement of “dependency” – more one of generations still pooling resources and helping one another (its also how and why Asians often seem to be able to afford a lot of property in some areas…).

I remember watching a documentary about some Chinese people who had moved from a rural area to work in Shanghai and were really gutted because they couldn’t live with their parents (and grandparents!)

They showed their houses where they had traditionally built the block on the top for the younger couple to move into (old people live at the bottom, so they don’t have to climb stairs) but it was often either all empty, although the grandparents sometimes took the babies and children to look after and raise so that the kids wouldn’t grow up in a polluted city with dangerous traffic…
April 19, 2007 at 10:32 pm

#883450
1

imported_rach

@imported_rach

Member
i used to live in suffolk 5/6 years ago, lived in a beautiful small village near bury and it really was an amazingly tight-nit community. all my extended family is up near newcastle but i remember the village community spirit was amazing. you knew EVERYONE around you, and as a young child you felt really safe playing out on the green or the street and everyone got involved with big events.

then when we moved down to newbury my mum had real issues for a long time, none of our neighbours wanted to stop and chat and generally people were less personable and their were no real social events in our village. took her a long time for her to adjust to the quietness. i find the further north you travel up the country the nicer the community vibe is, and if i choose to raise a family i don’t think i’d want to do it this far south.
April 20, 2007 at 2:36 pm

#883449
1

Playground Politics

@playground-politics

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4 sets of neighbours moved out a month ago, out of our house thing, and sinse the new ppl dont say much to u, and arent very….groupie. insteadi just go up to them and smile at them for five minutes….it probably doesnt help, but i feel better now(i guess u just gotta wear them in, like new shoes)
April 20, 2007 at 2:46 pm

#883444
6

General Lighting

@general-lighting

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its ironic that rach’s family has done almost the exact opposite move I have!

There was a recent news report claiming that nearby Reading was one of the worst places to raise a family. I sort of agree (although I spent a lot of my life in Reading) but I think its more due to the high prices of everything and the transient population.

Lots of people move to SE England for a few years due to work, particularly IT contracting. They then find the work disappears as a contract is lost to competitors, and have to move to another area at short notice, so there isn’t much community cohesion.

Suffolk still has a lot of farming, trades/construction and even manufacturing industries (specialist stuff like boatbuilding and agricultural machinery) which are more closely linked to the local area and boost the local community…..
April 20, 2007 at 8:32 pm

#883451
1

imported_rach

@imported_rach

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General Lighting wrote:

its ironic that rach’s family has done almost the exact opposite move I have!

There was a recent news report claiming that nearby Reading was one of the worst places to raise a family. I sort of agree (although I spent a lot of my life in Reading) but I think its more due to the high prices of everything and the transient population.

i do love reading cause its small enough for everywhere to feel familiar but big enough to have a real diversity of people. true tho, i wouldn’t raise a family there, it has its fair share of crime and antisocial behaviour. i was thinking about it some more last night, i dont think its true what i said about the further north you get the nicer the spirit, but more the case of the further you get away from London.

General Lighting wrote:

Suffolk still has a lot of farming, trades/construction and even manufacturing industries (specialist stuff like boatbuilding and agricultural machinery) which are more closely linked to the local area and boost the local community…..

i remember living near the sugar-beet factory, the smell of sugar-beet really really reminds me of my old home!
April 28, 2009 at 3:14 pm

#883455
1

swish

@swish

Member
One of our family friend lives in the outskirts of manchester and I have noticed the same thing over there. When its proper sunny in the afternoon, everyone seems to hanging around and enjoying … kids playing and old folks smoking 🙂
April 28, 2009 at 7:30 pm

#883452
1

joshd96320

@joshd96320

Member
yea with my family its all pretty cool and tight knit in EA

ive fucking loved my childhood –
my two brothers have both moved out but theyre both still in the town and theyre always round for tea and whatever, were always helping out with each other like i lend my bro my bass guitar and what not… i borrow stuff off him (we all link up on the xbox too for family time!)
my oldest bro has got a littlun of his own now, its just nice that were always within reach yet weve all got out personal space
same with my grandparents too, theyre pretty close in distance!

i think its really good to have a family like that..

dont really know how to explain it right now, my brain is like porridge. ill just say i agree and i quite like it !
:group_hug
April 28, 2009 at 7:51 pm

#883454
1

Sketchy

@sketchy

Member
same round my bits .. still east anglia but its the cambs …… sisters moved out … but never seem to have a week without her n her kids cummin round lol
April 28, 2009 at 9:53 pm

#883453
1

joshd96320

@joshd96320

Member
yeh its nicer than them living in the same house 24/7 in a way int it

more space for yourself but you always see ya family

guess its the east anglia norm!

less childish bickering about who gets the last ice pop..

emphasis on the “less”
April 28, 2009 at 11:54 pm

#883446
1

MisterDuck

@misterduck

Member
none of my extended family live in the same county, nor have they in my lifetime

not too far away though, we’re yorkshire their all lincolnshire… they all stick together, in very close-knit situations (almost on top of each other!) but my immediate family wanted out.
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