chimps aren’t very friendly when they are angry, and are also classed as CITES endangered species
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First, check yourself into an insane asylum; chimps are about the worst pets in the whole world (in fact most primates are; ask anyone who has worked with them). A chimp is essentially a much stronger, not-toilet trained, even more tempermental teenager that could attack its owner at any time. Even trained individuals will get attacked and sometimes disfigured/killed (chimp males’ first target is usally the scrotum—they rip off other chimps’ scrotums in fights and captive chimps have ripped off human males’ scrotums as well).
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_go_about_buying_a_chimpanzee
You’d probably be better of with a Sumatran/Borneo monkey, you could get round the rules by saying its being rescued from habitat destruction (which isn’t actually untrue what with the biodiesel plantations)
Still looking at about £3000+ including flights, quarantine, vet fees and applying to Dacorum and Natrual England/Defra for your monkey license
these days both monkeys and chimps would probably just rob your drugs and you’d still get trouble from the bobbys, RSPCA and the yougurt weavers..
