Forums › Life › Health & Medicine › Depression › If You Really Knew Me
This is my ‘If You Really Knew Me’ video. It explain some but not all of the things I’ve been through. I wanted to add songs but my editing app on my tablet wouldn’t allow me to do so, so listen to your own if you wish or listen to the ones I was going to use: Eminem-Mockingbird, 25 to Life, Space Bound, Talking to Myself. If you want to know anymore than what’s in the video feel free to ask and I invest my emotions into Tumblr so this is my URL if you’d like to see it notsosmiles.tumblr.com
Now for the video, enjoy…I hope
! thanks for opening up tori, hope you feel better for it… nice to get to know you better and have something tangible to learn about you… i can’t imagine what it must be like to feel threatened at home, and having parents that dont understand or accept the way you are… i dont make a habit of saying this kinda thing to 15 year olds these days, male or female (im twice your age), but you’re a very attractive boy/girl, a pretty face and special eyes… and err thin. i wasn’t sure if you meant you felt fat before or now, but you’re definitely in the thin category. it was nice to learn you’re already making friends here and if you feel isolated i hope i/we can help, or at least be there so you can get things off your chest…
nice to see/meet you 🙂
@know_hope 550216 wrote:
! thanks for opening up tori, hope you feel better for it… nice to get to know you better and have something tangible to learn about you… i can’t imagine what it must be like to feel threatened at home, and having parents that dont understand or accept the way you are… i dont make a habit of saying this kinda thing to 15 year olds these days, male or female (im twice your age), but you’re a very attractive boy/girl, a pretty face and special eyes… and err thin. i wasn’t sure if you meant you felt fat before or now, but you’re definitely in the thin category. it was nice to learn you’re already making friends here and if you feel isolated i hope i/we can help, or at least be there so you can get things off your chest…
nice to see/meet you 🙂
Fat now and then.
Thanks though
you’re clearly an ectomorph, you’ll unlikely ever be fat… i’m thin but i get some little rolls going on… lots of guys have it especially ones that like beer (which is pretty much everyone in england). but whereas you look to yourself as fat sometimes, many others would like to have your body shape. its all relative
I’m so sorry Tori 🙁 People are so cruel but I just want you to know that you are worth it. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise because usually those are the ones that are insecure about themselves and want to ruin other peoples lives. I know how you feel about your dad not treating you right and hurting you because my dad is kind of the same way, not nearly as bad but there are times when I don’t even want to call him my father. My dad is a raging alcoholic and he tries to hide it from me and the rest of my family. He spends all of his money on beer and drinks about a 12 pack every night. Yeah it sucks because he has already ruined the bond between us, but I try to not let it effect the way I live my life.
There always will be people in your life that will try to bring you down and bully you and make you feel like the lowest of the low. Don’t let those people be a part of your future and put them in the past even if it’s hard to do, it’ll be like a weight lifted. People will also always hold an opinion towards you but in the end, yours is the only one that counts. Do what you want and don’t give a damn about the people who bully you. Surely there’s a reason they bring you down because they probably have worse underlying issues themselves. You are beautiful and it’s amazing that you have such a voice to share that with the world. You are definitely not fat, like seriously, don’t even put that in your head. Everybody has something they don’t like about themselves but I find that the flaws I find on other people are beautiful. Being able to identify them and deal with them every day is true strength. You are such a strong person to have gone through that, stronger than the average person. You have your whole life ahead of you! Don’t let these things hurt you now, just know that the future will be so much better. Thank you for sharing that, I feel for you. Your dad is 1 person. There are what.. like 6 billion people on this earth? Don’t let one ruin your entire life. Don’t apologize for being you. Ever. I wrote so much haha, that’s just how I feel about this whole thing. I don’t know you personally but if you’re ever feeling hurt you can always PM me, and I know others would say the same. Even if it’s just a sentence about how you’re feeling or something you want to let out, you can write whatever to me and I’ll listen. Well, I hope this helps 🙂
the little kiss blowing is very sweet… without making too many assumptions, i’d guess that you’re quite a feeling and emotion based person… possibly at school or in your life in general there are less people like this? maybe big macho ego types at school? thats how it was at my school. everyone trying to be the big man and if you’re not in this struggle they see you as a target to increase they’re ‘big man identity.’ but i did find from time to time is that they want to be the aggressor and so you the victim, but if you behave less as a victim they dont seem to get the same satisfaction and sometimes get bored and move on even. possibly a secret weapon is to show compassion to them even if they’re trying to attack, humiliate, or whatever. it shows an inner strength… cos overall what they want, what all of these ‘big men’ wannabees want in all walks and moments in life is to get is a reaction. they want to affect you negatively, so if you react passively this can be confusing. they may even respect you for it… not that you would be seeking their respects
Interesting vid. A couple of points I’d like to make,
1: As know_hope said, you honestly ain’t fat, although you do possibly have some kind of body dysmorphia. When I was your age, I genuinely weighed about 200 lbs. You must be about half of that, so don’t sweat it.
2: If your Dad’s family are being such dicks and are in denial about what he’s like, then the next time he’s being a cunt, film it and then show it to his family – or better yet, get a white bedsheet to use as a screen, and some kind of projector and play it outside their house so all their neighbours can see what a cunt he is too, that oughta shame them into addressing the problem. There are many dickheads that portray an image to the outside world which is at odds with how they are behind closed doors. Oddly enough many of them are, or at least claim to be, religious and God-fearing, strange that!
All the best dude, keep smilin’!
It was nice to finally put a face to the person I’ve been chatting to for these last couple of months:weee:
As know_hope said you have a very pretty face, do you mind me asking if you had any make up on at all or is that how you look naturally? Plus you’re certainly not in any way overweight never mind fat. You look to be a similar stature to me, naturally very slender. I can literally live off fast food and still not put any weight on. Again quoting Know-hope but we are ectomorphs and people like us don’t get fat; or not until we hit middle age and our metabolism goes to shit and 35years of saying I’ll never be fat catches up with you overnight lol. I think, sorry I know G-tek is right with the body dysmorphia comment. Due to some tragic events in your life you have a highly negative perception of yourself, but that is merely your perception and not the person that I’ve just seen on the other end of the camera. Regardless of current or desired gender you are SLENDER and ATTRACTIVE. Don’t let anyone including yourself tell you otherwise. You’ve had a awful lot of negativity in your short time on this planet so far but part of that you have allowed to enter your life, so why not allow some positivity too? Don’t just take these as words of sympathy because this is the truth, but only if you want it to be.
Again thank you for sharing and stay strong sister! 😉
1: As know_hope said, you honestly ain’t fat, although you do possibly have some kind of body dysmorphia. When I was your age, I genuinely weighed about 200 lbs. You must be about half of that, so don’t sweat it.
2: If your Dad’s family are being such dicks and are in denial about what he’s like, then the next time he’s being a cunt, film it and then show it to his family – or better yet, get a white bedsheet to use as a screen, and some kind of projector and play it outside their house so all their neighbours can see what a cunt he is too, that oughta shame them into addressing the problem. There are many dickheads that portray an image to the outside world which is at odds with how they are behind closed doors. Oddly enough many of them are, or at least claim to be, religious and God-fearing, strange that!
All the best dude, keep smilin’!
I’m laughing a little because that is kinda funny. I’d love to do something like that but what he’s likely to do to me… They are real conservative. My dad walked up stairs a few nights after I came out and told me its against god to be religious.
As know_hope said you have a very pretty face, do you mind me asking if you had any make up on at all or is that how you look naturally? Plus you’re certainly not in any way overweight never mind fat. You look to be a similar stature to me, naturally very slender. I can literally live off fast food and still not put any weight on. Again quoting Know-hope but we are ectomorphs and people like us don’t get fat; or not until we hit middle age and our metabolism goes to shit and 35years of saying I’ll never be fat catches up with you overnight lol. I think, sorry I know G-tek is right with the body dysmorphia comment. Due to some tragic events in your life you have a highly negative perception of yourself, but that is merely your perception and not the person that I’ve just seen on the other end of the camera. Regardless of current or desired gender you are SLENDER and ATTRACTIVE. Don’t let anyone including yourself tell you otherwise. You’ve had a awful lot of negativity in your short time on this planet so far but part of that you have allowed to enter your life, so why not allow some positivity too? Don’t just take these as words of sympathy because this is the truth, but only if you want it to be.
Again thank you for sharing and stay strong sister! 😉
I didn’t have any make-up on.
Sorry for replies being short.
**big hugs**
See I told you wouldn’t be judged here Tori. Party Vibe is the true land of the free!
I don’t know what to say to be honest. I’m kind of disgusted that in this day and age this is allowed to happen. This is easier said then done but I have to agree with what G-Tek has said – you need to get some solid evidence on the cunt that can’t be disputed and band together with your family and get him locked up for a long time – it is what he deserves. Why would an adult male bully a child and all his family? *Sigh* I don’t understand the world sometimes. Really though, if you get some evidence on the prick and you and everyone else sticks together there is little he can do from the inside of a prison cell, but you really need to get him out of your life ASAP.
Like I said I understand that this will be easier said then done but as a family (I don’t include your dad in this, he’s a worthless piece of shit as far as i’m concerned) if you pull together it shouldn’t be too hard to do and you can take solitude in the fact that you aren’t alone and there is safety in numbers.
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Forums › Life › Health & Medicine › Depression › If You Really Knew Me