obviously when one thinks of drug testing, they expect a new potential manager to test their urine. I have had one whiz quiz and it was for wally world, no joke. your urine will pick up EVERYTHING…unless you play it smart. Here are the drug tests that most employers use (if they even drug test at all):
– the piss test: basically they hand you a cup, you pee in it, they put it inside a spinning machine and then the results pop up immediately. if you’re currently taking medication that is considered a controlled substance like a prescription, then you must bring the pill bottle(s) with you. otherwise, the test admin will think you’re legit a drug dealer. if you need to pass for mary jane, let me tell you how i did it…knew i had a random drug test coming but usually companies warn their potential employees of it a few days before you have to take it. i bought one of those little “take home” kits to test myself as i’m a chronic gaunja lover and of course on the first test, i failed. ***here’s how to beat that within 24 hours: take vitamins mainly milk thistle, cayenne, psyllium seed/psyllium seed husk, and cranberry. the 2nd thing you need to do, and you will hate me for this, but take laxatives. ironically, mary jane is expelled about 70% through your poop and only roughly 20% through your urine. take the vitamins as directed on the bottles for as long as you can take it. also sweating it all out in a sauna or even your backyard if you live in an area like me with high humidity. i passed the drug test within 8 hrs.
– the blood test: although probably not an immediate result, basically they’re just testing to see if you have done the actual drugs within the past 12 hours. so that’s easy enough to beat. they may/probably will have to send the blood back to the lab but the results are within a few days.
– the saliva test: ***AKA the easiest test to beat. for ALL drugs. it will only pick up mary jane if you have smoked 12-24hrs before tbe test; only picks up cocaine/crack within 12-24 hours of use; but it does pick up meth if you’ve used within the past week. so for all the meth users, you have to stop using basically a week before this test. the saliva test is also easier because they have to send it off to a giant lab in bum fuck nowheresville and if anything is picked up (highly doubtful) then they will call you and let you know themselves. the saliva test is pretty advanced even though it’s easy to beat because it can tell the difference between say crystal meth and ADHD medication. just as an example.
but no matter what drug test you get, it’s always best to know when you need to get it done and then go from there. occasionally there just won’t be a way to beat it so none of these tests are fool proof or guaranteed. but if you’re anything like me, you sniff your prescriptions and smoke pot, you’ll be fine.
