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Coming Off Heroin: E-Babe’s Rehab Diary Hi,
I am a 29 year old male in the Thames Valley area. I am an Opiate addict currently on Methodone. I was never abused as a child and I have a loving familly. We would be the statistical example (2.4 children, 2 cars nearing 3 etc). I am gay, but don't let that determin why I turned to heroin in the first place.
I got into drugs by peer pressure. I always hanged arround with older kids than me when I was younger, they were more interesting and sensible than people of my age. I started smoking pot at 13, speed at 14. My school was shite, because I was gay I was a prime target for verbal abuse - but I never let it get to me. LSD and then Extasy was the next drug of choice. For a solid 3 years every weekend I ate pills and speed and then got onto selling them to make even more friends. The trick worked. Towards the end of my party lifestyle (aged 19ish) I became parranoid. For sometime after stopping all chemicals and pot I was still parranoid - There was no end. My partner at the time asked to borrow my car to score - I pressured him to tell me what he was getting - Heroin. I passed him £15 and I drove him to go and get it. That was my first time smoking heroin and I loved it. My parranoia stopped sudenly and I felt good about myself. OK, I was sick everwhere but that was a small price to pay when you are finally happy.
Every weekend I did smack. Then I would do some on the Monday and then on Wednesday until I started to have stomach cramps, constipation, tears streaming from my eyes (detox symptom). it took over my life. I stole from my familly, did crime to fund my habit and sold drugs to fund my addiction.
Now, I have a criminal record and not much to show for a 29 year old man.
I aim to enusre that people out there are aware of what troubles Heroin addiction or indeed any opiate could do. I don't want this to appear like a public confession either rather just my experience and if someone like a concerned parent, friend of someone who is an addict or if the person reading this themselves are addicts then I hope you will take something positive from my experience and apply it to your lives.
Here is my diary for the time I was in hospital:12…1011
i’ve been taking heroin for 15 years i've been taking heroin for 15 years and last year managed to abstain for 8 months, which is the best i have ever done. i have since relapsed and now thinking about having a naltrexone implant. i have found keeping a blog really theraputic and encourage you all to keep some sort of diary, either at home or online. days tend to merge together when on heroin and its hard to pin point specifics, so keeping a diary can be a good way of keeping track of your emotions.
one of the hardest things for me is having to lead a double life, nobody would think i was addicted to heroin from looking at me, far from it. anyway i wish you all the best on your recovery and sometimes its worth looking into the idea of having some kind of blocker. its a good idea to have some kind of safety net in place at least for tyhe first twelve months after giving up.
I’m stuck, lonely and getting worse Not sure if this is the right area.
Im 27 started I started smoking gear at 16 for the first couple of years I was off and on the worst I got was only £10 a day which isnt bad I know but to me it was but I've never shit myself so I know it could be much worse. Around 20yr old I started smoking every day morning till night and I loved it. I had a big group of friends always active doing something living fast.
Some stuff went on and I decided to move away to south Hampshire from the midlands to hopfully escape it all. But within a month I felt boxed in and board so I searched out any street begger and offerd to buy him a bag if he gets me one. I jumped back into a large group doing the same as before, only this place was much bigger and everybody used needles I still carried on smoking tho phobic of needles thank god but I ended up going 2 bags a day and white here and there.
I blazed my mrs savings account 2k within afew months (the most selfish thing I ever did while active) my mrs didn't take any drugs or even smoke cigs. Pretty soon she got pregnant we got pregnant even. I knew then at my height of addiction the clock had started I couldnt be a dad on heroin we argued I said dont worry ill be clean by time baby comes.
The months flew by and I hadn't really done anything to reduce about 8months through I signed to a drug clinic first meth which I wanted so I could still smoke with friends even tho it wasnt any fun since they did pins so ide just be tooting on my own while there all fully engulfed. 2 weeks before baby's due date I asked for subutex and got told no ther not available anymore.
I took the suboxone saying I need tablet form cos meth is just a top up or safty net to heroin. I hated it and was told just tell them your allergic to them say your tongue swelled up. I thought it weird but I didn't believe in suboxone ive had subutex here and there growing up and was fully confident in those, so I did it expecting to be laughed at or analized but no they just said describe how so I made it up. Then the dr said ok here's a subutex script.
I stayed home for a month baby was born but living in the midlands with my mrs parents we was pretty weak then our relationship could have broke any day. But I stayed in to adjust to the tex which was pretty simple but I had knowhere to go unless I wanted to see gear.
Pretty soon tho I started going out after my meds one day a friend offerd abit of powder as a good bye smoke I accepted it even tho ide had my tex and it'd probably cause a rattle but I did it. I said good bye you cunt and frazzled it on the spot not lovingly stroked it accross the foil just fudhe offf lol. After that I still hung around my friends but I was happy to just be there chatting laughing and not touching drugs.
I had been visiting my mrs and daughter a week here two weeks there but it wasn't until she was five months we got a flat offerd so we all moved into that. I could have moved in with my mrs parents provided I gave my dog up which I flat out said no he's a Staffordshire bull terrier amazing dog soft as but her posh parents wouldnt accept that. They tryed everything to either ejexlct the dog or split me and my gf I held strong one night I came very close as my gf was saying we'll split if I dont which I couldn't believe. I found out her parents had threatend to tell social services we have a staffy and baby and the gfs mum would take our baby. That was a relief as I finally found out why my mrs turned so cold and knew it was bollks social would never do that without cause and tests. So that was that.
We moved into our flat in a town ive never heard of same as Basingstoke tbh, we kept the dog secret to avoid tension to begin with ofcourse didn't let him near our baby tho hes a clumsy lump and you would do this with any dog with a young baby. Hes been my strength tho if ide have lost him I really wouldnt have nobody for me right now. Im ther for my mrs and my daughter but I have social needs that Aren't getting fulfilled. So my downtime is walking my dog and fighting off jack russles trying to destroy him he's such a soft dog other dogs see him as prey. So the dog stuff was unjust only bcos gfs parents are posh.
We've been here three years now my subutex programme goes hot and cold I miss appointments so get kicked off and restarted subutex is holding me but its not touched the problem I want to use more than ever now. Im a ghost of myself I don't have one friend can talk to I could go make friends I think but the guys I attract are usually into drugs so I haven't pushed I have people I say hi to in the street mayb chat for afew minutes but were strangers still.
I love my family and I want to be strong for them and all of that and I will but I crave a social life so much right now im a recluse I go out when I have too mayb spend 2hrs outside on a good day collecting my meds , walking my dog and taking my child to the park or just a walk through the park.
I need to change I want a life I want my confidence and even my sense of humour back the best laugh I have now days is buzzing offmy daughter when sshe's being crazy or singing to the tv. I cant stand being in crowds of people I feel like im dirty, a parasite I judge myself really hard. Im constantly worried about my health my heart is weird the dr says its anxiety but im not so sure wenever I lie down its pounding away chest is tight yet I feel calm.
Im worried about everything from health , appearance to prospects and aspirations or lack ther of I feel dead inside. I can block the gear out until im at clinic and hear the others talking about scoring in a min calling dealers in the waiting room I sit ther practising in my head how to ask for some too. Luckily before I get the nerbe im either in my room, or they've left. I dont think its the buzz I want its everything that comes with gear.
People think heroine addicts are all scum out for themselves this that but ive only seen that fro. A very small percentage from my groups over the years. A couple was dicks all in for themselves but most was good friends I've learnt alot from. Then there's the missions inbetween scoring whatever it may be I miss that always having a goal.
I doubt im putting this out in the best way im sorry for that ill leave it here and add to it if need be.
My dreama are usually me and any old friend searching for gear getting the scent of the trail but always being judt behind it, like its at his house get ther oh its all gone now. Just searching maybe getting a glimpse but never getting to hold it. My teeth crumble in those dreams too I suppose thets to do with my worrys about my teeth after smoking it for 7yrs.
(So to anyone whos doing treatment and hopfully got away from known towns to reinforce the chance of quitting have you come through fully did you feel inadequate or anything and how did you or if your trying now figure it out?)
I know ive been very lucky in alot of ways and im very thankful for that. Ive been wanting to go to bars to meet people but dont think I can I would probably drink way too much fronting hiding my nervs im trying rc as a hobby which definitely helps thats a new addiction I love building those with custom engines and all of that but its not a social thing. Im going to buy a mountain bike this week to just try and get out more and hopfully get fitter.
My life is great in everyway is used to be bad but the good things from back then are stopping me enjoying life. I didnt give a flying frigg back then about peoples opinion , health or anything but now I do im struggling to adjust for sure.
Giving up smoking… anyone got any miricle tips on giving up smoking? I really need to quit, and so far have cut down to smoking about 2 whole cigs a day. Each one i roll, i rip in half, and smoke that, so im only smoking half cigs, 4 half cigs through the day = 2 while ones....but id rather it be none.
Ive quite smoking weed which i thought would be difficult, after smoking it for 8 years 90% of the time, but my body did well, and now the smell of it makes me wretch! Wish this would be the case for cigs.....
dont want to use patches cause im not smoking enough to make them worth it, if i used them id be taking in more nicotine through the patches than i would through what i smoke, plus last time i used them i OD' and its not a nice experiance!12
Need Heroin / Speed Addiction Recovery Stories (Rehab, Meetings, etc) I am a recovering Heroin and Speed addict myself, and I have recently started the website, GettingOffDope.com | A Drug Addiction Recovery Forum - I am looking for stories, withdrawal tips and tricks, and just general content for my site. If you are willing to contribute, please visit the site and/or email your story to info@gettingoffdope.com
Thank you!!
-Nick
Coming off Benzodiazepines. Help please. Hey dudes, I have been doing way too many benzos for way to long.
My Tolerance has quadrupled (although sometimes I can get away with less) and I want to stop them altogether.
Also I drink Cider every day.
I know you shouldn't stop the benzos altogether, but what is the best way to get off them as I only have a small amount left and am skint (also I want to get clean this year apart from the odd psys).
Any help would be appreciated!12
Pinned
Alleviating a Smack Detox? I'm 56 hrs into a rattle and really starting 2 struggle. dont want 2 take any opiates but if anyone has any tried and tested home remedies then id be most grateful12
So Who Still Ain’t Smoking? I have gone a full week without smoking and have no desire to have one. I know a few people on here are attempting to stop so how are you all doing then? :love:12…1314
Easy way to quit smoking Benefits of Quitting Smoking
Quitting smoking any time will make life not only better, but also longer.
If you are pregnant, quitting smoking will improve your chances of having a healthy baby.
Infants and young children are at special risk and could suffer permanent damage due to cigarette side-stream smoke.
You will have extra money to spend on things other than cigarettes.
Studies have shown that more than 25 percent of U.S. adults smoke and if you are a 45-year-old woman who does smoke, the odds that you’ll die in the next decade are 50 in 1,000.
Although 70% of smokers want to stop smoking and 41% attempt to quit smoking each year, only 2.5% succeed.
Smoking can restrict the blood supply to the lower spine, leading to chronic back pain, and also can slow recovery from bone surgery.
Research has determined that heavy cigarette smoking by female smokers doubles the risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis.
Hi!
Don't you know that there's a product that looks exactly like a cigarette that can make you quit smoking?
It's really cool. just look at it, you can quit smoking while you smoke...that's so easy!
It just simply has no nicotine at all...amazing product!
If one really don't want to quit, then the product is safer and better than the ordinary harmful cigarette…it’s herbal and it’s healthy!
It's absolutely perfect! and it really works!
Instead of the [Harmful] nicotine, 60 carcinogenic agents and 4,000 chemical elements that cigarettes contain, this product contains a Patented Formula that includes Eucommia Ulmoides, an ancient Chinese herb with near-miraculous powers that is very beneficial to those who are trying to quit smoking.
In Asia, Eucommia Ulmoides, has long been considered equal to (or better than) the major tonic herbs, such as ginseng, but its relative scarcity has kept it from becoming more well known. In fact, about three thousand years ago, legendary Chinese Herbalist Shen Nong wrote about it in the first pharmacopoeia of Chinese herbs.
The Eucommia Ulmoides leaf has always been valued for long-term use. In recent decades, Eucommia has been the subject of much scientific research, including stop-smoking studies. In traditional Chinese herbalism, Eucommia Ulmoides was revered as a balancing and regulating longevity herb, believed to enhance the vital energies and increase the essence.
know more about this product?
email me
diane_nosmoq@yahoo.com
=)
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Day 1 – Cigarette free… Well ... i woke up, didn't have any cravings until about 10am but tried ignoring them... at half 12 I was almost dying so I had a cig.. but after two drags I felt so guilty that I docked it out, snapped it in half and threw it in the bin..
this is gonna be so much harder then i thought :(
any suggestions on what'll make it easier? and don't say cut down instead of just quitting 'cause if i say i'm cutting down, i just won't quit. Cold turkey is the only way I can.
I quit before for about 4/5days... then started smoking normally again... blergh.123
Sober Living, the 2nd step of rehab After rehabilitation, sober living houses can be your next stop
For individuals not willing to deal with the community head-on, for individuals without a sober place to go, and for individuals still experiencing addict life and a corresponding mental illness, coming out of drug or alcohol rehabilitation and into a sober living environment can be an excellent way to strengthen the possibility of long lasting sobriety and achievements.
Sober Living House
Sober living house is a place to live, that may or may not provide some degree of harmful addictions treatments, and which provides low cost living to addicted individuals in recovery in return for an agreement to accept a certain and strict code of conduct.
Residents moving through a liquor free existing home must generally gain employment, may not bring drugs and alcohol in to the house, may not appear intoxicated inside the residence, and must stick to personality rules such as curfews and work responsibilities. People may stay free on these residents as long as they like, and there is rarely a pre set period of residency, but most recuperating individuals remain from 1-6 months.
The advantages of sober living house
There are a number of advantages to residence in a sober home, and one of the most noticeable is basically that living in a sober house decreases the urges of separate, alone living, and improves the possibilities that recuperating individuals can hold up against the sometimes extreme urges during the preliminary early months out of rehab.
But sober living house provides more and one of the intangibles, but something that does provide prime support to those struggling with sobriety, is basically the development of sober companionship within the residence, and revising again how to have enjoyable time without drugs and alcohol.
Most individuals with long harmful addictions backgrounds have spent years amounting fun or entertainment with intoxication and newly sober addicts often find leisure time one of the greatest risks to sobriety. How can you have fun without intoxication?
If you're on your own, filling spare some time to interacting with solitude can be difficult, but in a sober living house you can take advantage from the company and friendship of a group of recuperating individuals in a very similar situation to yours. Sober houses’ friendship are the rule rather than the exception, and addict individuals understand together how to have fun and enjoy themselves in a safe, healthy and balanced manner.
This may seem a small thing at the surface level, but interacting with spare time in a balanced way is crucial to long lasting sobriety, and those that cannot understand this skill have little option at final accomplishments.
Don't relapse
A contribution in sober living house is mathematically associated with a higher amount of extension of aftercare treatments, and also a higher rate of sobriety; and there are quite a variety of reasons why this is so. Making sober friends, having fun without alcohol, and studying how to be alive without intoxication are not the only things sober living house provides, but these are all significant and do reduce the risks of the preliminary few months of sobriety.
Most major places will have at least a few sobriety atmospheres, and your regional health service, drug treatment center, or medical doctor should be able to suggest your regional options.
For those with no sober place to go, for those who don't feel willing to deal with the full urges of the outside community, and for those who basically don't know how to have fun without drugs or alcohol, sober living housing can be an excellent alternative.
Not Even Two Weeks So a guy i'm friends with who's an IV Heroin addict and major K head.
he just got a good manager job in a nice pub and this guy will sniff k til he's a retard over and over until he runs out or bang up skag and spaz out like a spanner thinking he's not looking like a complete mess. I thought he could handle at least a few weeks with no issue but no....
He was doing all nighters and getting fucked before work which was stupid but the worst thing i saw was when he k holed when we all went in for a meal together, me and 8 or so other friends. i said it was gonna happen and he was gone sitting at the table out of it, we had to get him out the pub asap i've never seen anything so dumb. (just to make it clear this was in the pub he worked at on tuesday!!?)
anyway he came out of work last night with 6g of k he'd bought and claimed he'd been suspended for punching someone, later on said he was sacked. He was probably k'd up at work and some incident happened cos when he's on it he does dumb fucking shit and gets violent.
As far as how he got the job he can talk the talk and lie very very well, actions speak much louder than words though.
thought i'd share this as it's been ridiculous to watch, guys a complete and utter tard.12…45
Bad hangovers: Why alcohol is only half the story Sorry for the downer, but I thought you should all know...
A couple of drinks was enough to give Louisa Saunders a sore head and coughing fits. Then she learnt that it was nothing to do with alcohol - and that she wasn't the only one reacting against a hidden chemical.
There comes a point in everybody's life when it's time to put the brakes on. Babies arrive, the long-hours culture begins to wear you down and, well, the years roll on. With the best will in the world, you find you just can't put it away like you used to. It's what used to be called middle age.
I had to accept, as I reached my mid-thirties, that I'd become an awfully cheap date. Once an enthusiastic drinker of beer, proud to swill pints like a man, now a couple of halves was all it took to put me under the table.
But it was more than just a problem of capacity. Even after one or two drinks, it seemed the hangover would begin halfway through the evening and continue for the rest of the night. I'd get home feeling like hell - ravenously hungry, even if I'd been out to dinner, yet with evil indigestion. I'd down some water and sugary foods in an attempt at first aid, then spend a fitful night with a foggy head and a heart full of feverish anxieties. A full recovery could take several days.
So, you can imagine how much fun my social life was. Parties soon lost their pull when the consequences were so punishing. Weeks would go by without me touching a drop.
When I noticed that I also lost my voice after a night out, I assumed this was caused by the cigarettes that went with the drinks. Curiously, though, a recent rash of non-smoking parties quickly brought about just the same rasping hoarseness.
Then one day in the office here at The Independent, someone cracked open some birthday champagne. I took one sip and began to cough. A few sips later and I was coughing and wheezing like a chain-smoking, 80-year-old miner. The reaction was so sudden and dramatic that it prompted me to put a few words into an internet search engine and soon I was pretty sure I'd nailed the culprit: sulphites.
Here's what I found out. Sulphites are a group of sulphur-based chemicals, used since ancient times to preserve foods and to stop them going brown. Without them, white wine would be brownish wine. They are present in the largest quantities in wine, cider and some beers, but also in many preserved foods such as dried fruit, soy sauce, jam, deli meat and fruit juice made from concentrate - almost all foods I've instinctively avoided for years. They are used liberally on frozen potatoes, which are often used to make chips. They're put on shellfish to keep them from going bad, and in the US they used to be liberally sprinkled on salad-bar salads, until the practice was banned because too many people had bad reactions to them. Some of those people died.
So they're useful substances, but they just don't agree with everyone. Asthmatics seem to be particularly susceptible, but nobody knows exactly how many people are sulphite-sensitive. Isabel Skypala, a specialist allergy dietician at the Royal Brompton Hospital, puts the figure at about 5 per cent of asthmatics, but other studies have suggested that as many as a third of asthmatics have had attacks triggered by sulphites.
There are two schools of thought about sulphite sensitivity, Skypala explains. "The first is that when you swallow there's some sort of inhalation effect, because you're creating a bit of sulphur dioxide and that causes the wheeze and other symptoms. But also sulphites are converted into sulphates by enzymes during digestion. There is a view that there could be a group of people who have a lack of this enzyme and that's what causes their symptoms because they can't convert them. I've certainly seen a distinct group of people who don't get the asthma wheeze but they do get quite a severe gastro-intestinal reaction."
Skypala is writing a dissertation on the diagnosis of food allergies, but has found sulphite sensitivity very difficult to research, because of the risks of deliberately inducing symptoms in asthmatic people, in whom the reaction can be very severe.
Reaction to sulphites is not an allergy, strictly speaking. With an allergy, exposure to a protein in a food (or in pollen, for example) will cause the body to produce antibodies to it, so that next time you encounter the food you will have a reaction. In the case of sulphites, the mechanism is less clear, but unlike, for example, peanut allergy, it seems to be dose-related: people tend not to react to only a little sulphite.
I have a clutch of "real" allergies: eczema, hay fever, allergic rhinitis and shellfish allergy. I come from a family of atopic allergics. At one stage I underwent a patch test to try to establish what was causing a severe eczema flare-up. I was asked to bring in any suspected allergens, to be taped to my back in small quantities for a few days. The skin was then examined for reactions. Unfortunately, the patch of skin that caused the allergy doctor a sharp intake of breath was the one on which had been placed a drop of Chanel No 19, my favourite perfume. So that was goodbye to perfume. And now, does this mean goodbye to alcoholic drinks, too? Or, worse, am I just becoming a terrible hypochondriac?
Well, I may be, but Justine Bold is certainly not. Ten years ago, Bold, then in her twenties, began to get dreadfully ill. She was having severe anaphylactic reactions. She had difficulty breathing, and had vomiting and diarrhoea and peeling skin on the inside of her mouth. During one episode, her lungs filled with fluid and she had to take steroids. It took two years for doctors at the Royal Brompton to pinpoint the cause. Bold was asked to keep a food diary, then go into hospital for a series of food " challenges" under controlled conditions. "They put me on a drip and made me eat some of the things I'd been reacting to: soft drinks, beer, wine, jam, fruit yoghurt. I had a reaction from just one spoonful of strawberry jam!"
Bold was sent away with a rather depressing sulphite-free diet sheet and an EpiPen - the DIY adrenalin injection that can counter an anaphylactic reaction. "Then after one very bad attack, when my boyfriend jabbed me with the EpiPen on the way to hospital, I realised I was getting worse. My boyfriend looked at the EpiPen and realised it contained sulphites. Now I have adrenalin from the States that is preservative-free."
Bold, who then worked in advertising, was inspired by her experience to retrain as a nutritionist and wrote her dissertation on sulphites. Now she says, "If I had an asthmatic child, the first thing I'd do is take them off sulphites. But it doesn't seem to be part of asthma treatment protocol at all." She has learnt to control her condition and now enjoys a fairly normal diet...
Bad hangovers: Why alcohol is only half the story - Health News - Health & Families - The Independent
Nasty stuff.
It appears that the ‘powers that be’ would like us all to stop taking drugs, but are happy to pump everyday food full of chemicals!
How do you plan to stay sober in 2012? What are the things you will do to avoid binge drinking this year? Or, how do you plan to totally avoid drinking alcohol? I think it will be interesting to know your views on this. Thanks.12
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