DEA Agent Who Shot Self In Foot Sues U.S http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0411061foot1.html
APRIL 11--A Drug Enforcement Administration agent who stars in a popular online video that shows him shooting himself in the foot during a weapons demonstration for Florida children is suing over the tape's release, claiming that his career has been crippled and he's become a laughingstock due to the embarrassing clip's distribution. Lee Paige, 45, blames the video's release on DEA officials in an April 7 federal lawsuit filed against the U.S. government. A copy of the pro se complaint by Paige, a DEA agent since 1990, can be found below. According to the lawsuit, Paige was making a "drug education presentation" in April 2004 to a Florida youth group when his firearm (a Glock .40) accidentally discharged. The shooting occurred moments after Paige told the children that he was the only person in the room professional enough to carry the weapon. The accident was filmed by an audience member, and the tape, Paige claims, was turned over to the DEA. The drug agency subsequently "improperly, illegally, willfully and/or intentionally" allowed the tape to be disseminated. As a result, Paige--pictured above in a still from the video--has been the "target of jokes, derision, ridicule, and disparaging comments" directed at him in restaurants, grocery stores, and airports. Paige, who writes that he was "once regarded as one of the best undercover agents, if not the best, in the DEA," points to the clip's recent airing on popular television shows and via the Internet as the reason he can no longer work undercover. He also notes that he is no longer "permitted or able to give educational motivational speeches and presentations."
Old skool entertainment in Essex pubs From the Ipswich journal of 1762-04-10
original web source
http://www.camulos.com/inns/5k.htm
thats quite spectacular TBH...
Mr Powell, the celebrated Fire-Eater from London, will perform at the King's Arms, Colchester, in the Easter-Week, and no longer.
He intends to exhibit the following Articles:
1. He eats red-hot Coals out of the Fire as natural as Bread.
2. He licks with his Tongue red-hot Tobacco-Pipes flaming with Brimstone.
3. He takes a large bunch of Deal-Matches, lights them all together and holds them in his Mouth till the flame is extinguish'd.
4. He takes a red-hot Heater out of the Fire, licks it with his naked Tongue several Times, and carries it round the Room between his Teeth.
5. He fills his Mouth with red hot Charcoal, and broils a Slice of Beef or Mutton upon his Tongue, and any Person may blow the Fire with a Pair of Bellows at the same Time.
6. He takes a Quantity of Rosin, Pitch, Bees-wax, Sealing-wax, Brimstone, Allum, and Lead, melts them over a Chaffing-dish of Coals, and eats the said Combustibles with a Spoon, as natural as a Porringer of Broth, (which he calls his Dish of Soup) to the great Surprise of the Spectators.
The ancient art of Munting! The ancient art of Munting!
Copyright of and with grateful thanks to: Fierce J. Munter
*DO NOT READ IF THE WHOLE MUNTING THING BORES YOU*
(My apologies to those so affected) *grin* *gurn* :)
Munt (n.)
A soiree or party set up with express purpose of providing a safe and secure haven for munting. See munt-fest, Munt-a-rama.
Munter (n.)
a) someone who gets munted (vb.) (intoxicated) on a reasonably regularly basis, often, though not exclusively, to a soundtrack of music 'characterized by repetitive beats' (Intoxicants can include 'dirty', 'illegal' and 'dangerous' drugs, however, me and my chums like nothing better than to get munted on government approved intoxicants! Apparently, everyone's doing it!).
Sources close to this reporter have heard rumours of munters who munt without drugs of any form. Apparently, the 'aliens' channel intergalactic psychoactive space jism through a void in the cerebral cortex leading to the hapful participants getting automunted. Either that, or via the sphincter. But the less said about that the better.
b) Someone who lives a decadent 'alternative' lifestyle to, what some more conservative observers would call, excess. As such, some may use it as a negative term. However, to most 'munters' encountered in the field, it's a term that can range from playful fun-poking to endearment and even respect (I know, it's very worrying! Sad even.).
Recently, we have seen it combined with other words to form new words which seem to enrich the simple and sometimes barbaric munting society. Here a some extant examples:
Munt-fest
A gathering of munters (though not exclusively, as sometimes non-munters (or munt virgins as the initiated call them) can be converted at these events) including loud music, dancing and (apparently) muntamines(see below). The result is usually red and/or dilated eyes, sweating, incoherant babbling and much merrimunt. In large doses (12 hours or more) can lead to plot loss and even prolonged group hallucinations. Perish the thought. There's nothing to see here.
Munt-a-rama (n.)
As above, but with a more 70's, funkadelic, George Clintonesque slant. May include discussions of mushrooms, inter-galactic spore travel and S.E.T.I.. Terms one should employ to fit in with those present should include: Wow, like far out, totally, serious shit, the collective consciousness, Gaia, man, dood, bra, munted, wow and you got the funk.
Munt God - (n.)
The God of all munting. Has many Incarnations including Tumi from Central America as well the God of any other religion incorporating psychoactive substances as an integral part of it's practical worshipping system. Thus, (predominantly) middle class folk can link these bastardised belief systems to recreational drug use so justifying their own nihilistic (but pleasant) existence in Babylon. Often the basis for ToM backdrops.
Muntamine (n.)
An intoxicant; Common examples include MDMA, LSD, ketamine, amphetamine sulphate, cannabis, strophoria cubensis, psylocybin (various fungi). More rare examples include DMT, 2CB and DOB. Often illegal depending on the Nation in which you reside. Sadly, however, this is no reflection of the varying levels of personal risk involved in ingestion of said muntamines. As such, use of these substances should not be taken lightly but when they are taken heavily they can have extremely potent effects which many munters report to be beneficial to their world view.
The Internet does allow individuals to arm themselves with information though, sadly, many governments aren't so responsible in both their dissemination of accurate information and their continuing expenditure (or lack thereof) on research into the effects (both long and short term) of these substances. Contact your local policy-maker Today!
Munting Juice (n)
A dirty and noxious solvent; street names include 'amyl' and 'poppers' and 'ringpiece relaxer'. As many commentators have reported, side effects include: 'f**kin' barry head rushes', partial loss of motor control and, in extreme cases, total loss of bowel control. The head rushes so beloved of these 'amyl junkies' (as they are known) often degenerate into the well-documented 'bast**d throbber behind the eyes'. Overindulgence can lead to unfortunate pole-axe toppling incidents the results of which are a sorry sight to behold. Much to the delight of evil and single-minded munting juice distributors who haunt the dancefloors of many munting pits. One particularly dangerous individual, a shadowy figure known only as 'Amyl munter', now resides in the good ol' U S of A....You have been warned.
Munting beans (n)
Street names include 'e', 'pills', 'ex', 'ADAM' and ecstacy. Little is known about this pharmacopia of drugs, but, like jelly beans, they come in all colours, flavours and sizes. Do not take these if you don't like drugs.
Muntdruff (n)
The mysterious white deposit that appears on face, hair and clothing, under black light, after the munting has begun. Its origins are unknown but some say it is directly linked to drug abuse. This, like so much else, is unconfirmed.
Muntee (n)
The willing partipant in an unknown munting experience requiring guidance or assistance from a more experienced munter(Much akin to the guide system used by responsible trippers back in the 60s). A mild example is the inhalation (or not) of a marijuana 'spliff' 'blowback'. This is carried out by a munter for the benefit of the recipient, or muntee who will take part in a passive way by inhaling gently as an inordinate quatity of potent smoke enters their lungs at speed. Muntees often become munters themselves though there is no proven causative link.
Munt fluff (n.)
The strange, fibrous build up that often appears in ones belly button after a night of munting. Some reporters have speculated that this substance is the devil's work, shielding the centre of a person's soul from the righteous work of the good Lord.
Post-Munt Salve
An unction used to relieve chafing in sweaty nether regions. One of the most serious side effects of a good munt. Good brands include E45.
The sway of this strange word has stretched even to being used as a measurement of time:
A munt(h)
A unit of measurement particular to the individual munter. For example:
If a munter 'munts' twice a week for a month and wishes to describe something that happened a month ago he or she might say: "Eight munt(h)s ago we all went to Gallstoneberry, and had a gay old time"
Tribe of Munt - (n.)
A shadowy disorganisation formed with the intent of jumping on the bandwagon of perceived coolness that goes with putting on a school disco for grownups. In recent years they have thrown parties in many of the more 'exclusive' venues in London. Not content with throwing 'munts' where they break even at the end of the night they now seem focussed on expanding into fluffy toy prostitution, cake-making and marriage counselling having recently sewn up a 'significant' corner of the market in 'avin' it large','stumble and babble', 'pseudo-spiritualism' and bespoke backdrops.
this is gold. :surprised
[IMG]http://email03.wanadoo.co.uk/webmail/en_GB/download/Download.html?IDMSG=205&PJRANG=2.2.2&NAME=19_long.gif&FOLDER=INBOX&STREAM_TYPE=IMAGE&EMBEDDED=true[/IMG]
:lol_teeth This is GOLD!!!
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME
WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;
FIX THE LIGHT, NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!
THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT
DOOR?
THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.
I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS, HE SAYS.
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO
FEEL
GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP
OUT.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A
NICE
YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO
ALL
THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE ACAKE.
HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?
SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!:lol_crash
A man walk into a pub… A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. He takes a seat at the bar, orders a beer for himself, some seed for the ostrich, and a saucer of milk for the cat. The cat says "I ain't fuckin' paying!"
The barman sees this and says to the guy "I bet some genie granted you one wish and you asked for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy?" "Yeah who'd have thought it eh!..."
Dentist joke for Mr Tooth… :) George Bush and Tony Blair are in a meeting at the white house. Goerge's wife walks in and asks what they are doing.
They tell her that they are making plans for world war 3, so she asks what are the plans to which George says "We're going to kill 14 million muslims and one dentist"
Why 1 dentist she asks. Bush pats Blair on the back and says, "Told you no one would ask about the fucking muslims".
There’s this pirate… A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his right eye. He sits down on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the seagulls. Two curious young children shyly sit down next to him and ask the pirate how he came to have a wooden leg.
The pirate replies, 'Well, I was standing on the deck of me ship one day, and a wave washed me overboard. Then, a hungry shark attacked me and bit me leg off.' The little boy then asks, 'How did you lose your hand?'
'Many years ago, I was fighting the Navy, and one of them boys cut me hand off. Me doc couldn't find a hand, so he gave me this hook.' Next, the little girl asks, 'How did you lose your eye?'
'Well, I was standing watch up in the crow's nest, and just as I looked up, a lousy seagull flew over and did his business right in me eye.' The children, now thoroughly confused, ask, 'How did that cause you to lose your eye?'
The pirate explains, 'Well, it was me first day with the hook.'
CN : Song of Pig the girl who wrote this is the most popular Internet artist in the Chinese speaking world!
Surreal lyrics though even if you did want to write a song in Chinese about a pig (and why not, it is a respected and popular animal there).
猪！你的鼻子有两个孔，感冒时的你还挂着鼻涕牛牛Pig, there are two holes on your nose; when you catch a cold, you are snorting 猪！你有着黑漆漆的眼，望呀望呀望也看不到边Pig, you have black eyes; look and look yet cannot see to the side 猪！你的耳朵是那么大，呼扇呼扇也听不到我在骂你傻Pig, your ears are so large; yell and yell but they can't hear that I'm cursing you silly 猪！你的尾巴是卷又卷，原来跑跑跳跳，还离不开它Pig, you have a curling tail; you run and jump and still can't escape it 猪头猪脑猪身猪尾巴Pig head, pig brain, pig body and pig tail 从来不挑食的乖娃娃You are a well-behaved baby that is never picky about food 每天睡到日晒三杆后Every day you sleep until after noon 从不刷牙，从不打架You never brush your teeth and you never fight
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_of_Pig
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