Welcome To
Money
-
-
Surviving the Credit Crunch
How to survive the crunch? Become a Hippie...
Millions of people are worrying about how they are going to survive the credit crunch. The answer is simple: become a hippy.
1. Smoke Pot - unlike alcohol there is no VAT on illegal drugs so you save money straight away. As cannabis is far safer than alcohol you also save on the cost of liver transplants in the future, so smoking pot is a sound investment for your old age. You could also consider becoming a weed dealer and/or grower which will help rebuild your nation's shattered economy.
2. Don't cut your hair, cut your costs - having long hair saves money and is warmer in winter. People with long hair save fuel costs, cut national dependence on foreign fuel, and cut CO2 emissions which could save humanity from extinction.
3. Don't shave - razor blades, shaving cream and other fetish body hair removers such as leg waxing kits etc are all products of the decadent 'throw away' consumer society which is destroying the rain forest and your credit rating. Nature gave us hair for a reason. Don't help Boots survive the credit crunch, help yourself and become a hairy hippie.
4. Squat now while stocks last - if you have a mortgage you can't pay don't worry about foreclosure. In fact the more foreclosures the better as this increases the housing stock available for squatting - now you can live mortgage free and rent free!
5. Become a pseudo 'veggie' or 'virtual vegan' - don't worry, most veggies cheat so you can eat fish and meat when ever you want, but eating veggie can dramatically cut your food costs. For example Tescos are doing a can of red kidney beans for 18pence, while a pack of King Prawns costs at least £3.00. One meat meal requires 10 meals worth of grain to produce. Meat production creates 18% of world Co2 emissions while air travel contributes just 3%. This means 'veggie' hippies can still fly Ryan Air and save the planet! It is Plain Obvious.
6. Dress down (and out) - even if you have a family trust fund, looking poor is the safest option in these dangerous knife crime times, plus it will save you a fortune. Even Madonna shops at Oxfam, thats why she is so rich. If you are really broke raid the clothing recycling bins; don't feel guilty - just remember that we are all Africans now. Alternatively you could become a nudist and cut your clothing bill completely.
7. Start or join a commune - council tax is chargeable per household so if you have twenty people in your commune the cost saving per person or couple is dramatic. With communal meals, shared sleeping areas and a washing up rota you can save even more and might only have to do the washing up once every two weeks!
8. Love is all you need - the new economy should not be based on shares but on sharing. For those with high sexual drives there is also the increased chance of attending more orgies, especially if you are bisexual.
9. Give Peace a chance - it is totally unrealistic of course, but supporting hippie pacifist defence policies could save billions for national economies. If the whole world went hippie the only defence we would need to think about would be against violent anti hippie skinheads, Tory counter revolutionaries, or a 'UFO' invasion from outer space.
10. Go to India - you might be able to get a job in a call centre.
schmoo on the run - from almost everyone
- 0
- 13
-
January 13, 2009 at 2:14 pm
-
UK : East : Suffolk response to credit crunch..
- 0
- 2
-
November 1, 2008 at 5:40 pm
-
loans/credit cards
anyone know where i can apply for a card/loan online where you dont have to show ID?
- 0
- 12
-
October 25, 2008 at 6:25 pm
-
Edinburgh Financial Crisis Protest: "We wont pay for your crisis!
"We Wont Pay for Your Crisis!" Edinburgh is set to have a demonstration against the government's criminal bank bailout, at the Corporate Headquarters of HBOS.
People all around Scotland are angered by the huge amount of taxpayers money planned to be spent on bailing out the very banks that have caused this crisis, and this demonstration is sure to attract a large crowd as a result.
The top of the Mound in Edinburgh's Old Town is a symbolic and apt choice of rally point for this protest, with the corporate headquarters of HBOS (one of the crisis banks set to be bailed) out and the High Court just across the road. HBOS even has a public "Museum of Money" in its building.
Interestingly, the protest seems to have first been announced on a facebook group called "We wont pay for your crisis", and begun by a person calling themselves Tom Joad, a character from John Steinbeck's 'The Grapes of Wrath', who is angered and radicalised by the 1930's the economic crisis and exploitation of that time.
The description of the facebook group states: "The banks are being bailed out with £500 billion of our money. This is 5 times what the government spends on the NHS per year. Due to the greed of the bankers and speculators, there will be rising unemployment, lowering of wages, rising bills, public services cuts. Let's meet at HBOS headquarters on the Mound and tell them that they won't get away with this robbery."
This planned protest comes quickly in the wake of a lively student and Socialist Worker Party demonstration about the financial crisis in the centre of the City of London on Friday 10th. The Edinburgh protest no doubt aims to be a similarly heated event.
We can all see that the militant rhetoric of the facebook group is correct. Ordinary people like ourselves will get hit twice by the governments plans to rescue the banks - Firstly, we, the ordinary people, are paying for the bailout - this will happen through higher taxes. service cuts and benefit cuts. These things hit those who cant afford it hardest.
Not only will we have to spend our tax money to correct the mistakes of the greedy bankers, but Secondly the economic collapse, that they caused, will mean that we cant afford our repayments on our mortgages and secured loans. This is because this crisis will will mean that we will lose our jobs, wages, pensions and benefits, and we will see a rise in the cost of living, making ordinary people poorer. This means that for many of us our homes are now at risk of repossession from those same banks we will be bailing out.
Instead, what should be happening is that our £500 billion be used to guarantee that our homes will not be repossessed, that our jobs wont be lost, and wages wont be cut. However, with this bailout plan, the banks will be getting our tax money, and our homes, and most likely aim to continue business as usual. This is criminal!
See you at 5pm on the 24th, at the top of the mound.
- 0
- 8
-
October 23, 2008 at 10:57 pm
-
New job, new city, mo’ money!
Found out a while ago but Im getting a £3,300 pay rise and moving to the Oxford Borders :) so any of you mofo who live in/near Oxford do come and say hi!
I'm well chuffed to be honest because I orginally said no to the job because it wasnt enough money for the comute etc and then they rang me back after I went back to my old job and my regional manger added another grand on top of what they already offered me because they want me there that bad :) woop!
Best thing about it is there is no more responsibilty involved its the same job i do now but for more money :laugh_at:
So im doing a job im good at and gettign the money i need!
:bounce_fl Onwards and upwards!
- 0
- 9
-
August 29, 2008 at 3:10 pm
-
indian call centres
these bloody call centres need banning. i've had enough of em :get_you::get_you::get_you::ar15::ar15:
- 0
- 14
-
July 22, 2008 at 8:02 am
-
MY : Chinese credit control methods…
From New Straits Times, Malaysia...
where did they get the cage from though? although Malaysia's Chinese-run hardware shops are well stocked, a person-sized metal cage wouldn't be the easiest thing to source (unless it was built specifically for this purpose...)
Quote:
BUKIT MERTAJAM: The counsel representing seven men charged with locking a debtor in a metal cage last year has asked the court for a postponement of their trial.
K. Saravana Kumar made the request because he was not able to obtain documents relevant to the case.
Magistrate M. Mageswary then fixed Aug 13 for the hearing.
All seven men pleaded not guilty.
Ng Booi Muah, 48; Lai Boon Teong, 35; Khaw Chee Beng, 28; Huan Hann Shii, 39; Khoor Soon Kiang, 29; Low Yee Piau, 28; and Tan Chee Chong, 31; have been charged with locking businessman Tan Teik Siang, 50, in a metal cage for two hours for failing to pay his debts.
They were alleged to have committed the offence at a double-storey house in Taman Jambu Mawar in Bukit Mertajam at about 3pm on Aug 13.
Deputy public prosecutor Iza Mohamad prosecuted.
- 0
- 2
-
June 12, 2008 at 2:16 pm
-
UK: no more 10% tax band
do you earn less than £18,500 per year? then you will be worse off under the new tax regime
i think it's wrong. taking money from the lowest paid, to give a 2p in the £ tax break to middle income earners, while there's been nothing to actually try and tax the ultra rich
the worrying thing is that this is what labour have done. they are supposed to be the party of the common person. Rest assured that the tories would do exactly the same (they actually did far worse by imposing poll tax when they were last in power, for anyone too young to remember)
so we are fucked, unless we are rich
any thoughts?
- 0
- 57
-
April 11, 2008 at 4:30 pm
-
Ebay Sellers
Any other regular Ebay sellers on here? If so have your takings gone down or is it just me. Its going realy slow at the min. Is it a knock on of the start of reccesion?
- 0
- 6
-
April 7, 2008 at 10:41 pm
-
I’ve just put my first thing on ebay for sale!
Wish me luck!!:weee:
- 0
- 8
-
March 28, 2008 at 3:01 pm
-
Probably the best Ebay Ad ever!!
1.7 Diesel Astra van - fanny magnet!
This van will change your life including a girlfriend upgrade and more friends.
Travel in style with the mock-leather seats with hardly any rips.
Does 0-60 in less time than it takes my kettle to boil.
I've ticked one of the features as a beaver tail - i have no idea what one of these is - but i reckon this beast has probably got one.
Starting the van in the morning is a bit like my 107 year old grandad (who smokes 80 fags a day) waking up. it coughs and splutters but it never seems to die.
There are specs of rust here and there, and there and there and in some other places - but i will not charge any extra for these.
People always stop and ask me "can i buy that off you for a grand" but i say "no".
So there you are - ask me as many questions as you like and buy yourself a new lifestyle.
I will not accept 50p and a packet of pork scratchings for this mighty fine vehicle so don't ask if i will…
Good luck - you're going to need it - the competition will be fierce!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270216471979#description
:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
- 0
- 13
-
March 20, 2008 at 8:06 pm
-
Ggr i hate ebay customers!!!
i sold my xbox the other week on ebay, the buyer got it pretty quick but he seems to have such a smuggish attitude............
......ok one of the controllers i sold was basically chewed up to pieces, i wasn't gunna sell it in the first place but i thought ''well im not gunna have an xbox anymore, so why keep it?'', but i did say in the advert ''controller is faulty but can be fixed''. then this guy is complain about so many little things.............like minor scratches on the games, controller and even that the headset has its foam piece missing :you_crazy:you_crazy:you_crazy
now hes opened up a dispute with paypal, my account balance stands at -£240.00 and hes giving me a negative feedback on ebay!!! ARGHH!! :cry:
i did tell him that i wont be acceptin refunds but its not the point, the xbox works, along with all the other games, and considering i sold it for pennies, he isnt happy that he got a bargain!!!
anyone been in this situation before?? i hate people i really do.
- 0
- 17
-
March 19, 2008 at 8:12 pm
-
Money in Vaginas…
Woman smuggles cash in vagina 12/02/2008
Marechaussee have uncovered a remarkable case of smuggling at Schiphol
12 February 2008
AMSTERDAM – Marechaussee have uncovered a remarkable case of smuggling at Schiphol. A woman was arrested trying to smuggle EUR 120,000 in cash to Colombia.
That in itself is not unique, but the place she was hiding half of it was: her vagina. The other half was also hidden in an intimate place, the AD reports.
She was wearing a cylindrical container between her breasts containing EUR 55,000.
[Copyright Expatica News + ANP 2008]
:cry:
- 0
- 27
-
March 2, 2008 at 5:59 pm
-
More Spares And Repairs on Ebay
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110216114506
- 0
- 2
-
January 18, 2008 at 8:08 pm
-
1 more question…
well 2 actually.
1) ive got a paypal account, but it seems to be locked to an old bank account i had that has now got no money in it and ive been trying to switch it for ages, but its a right pain in the arse and i havent managed it yet. Is there an equvilent to paypal so i can register my new B/A which now has some money in? and then donate.
2) i clicked that remember me button - problem solved, but how do i sign out? cause i was still logged in this morning when i came into work?
- 0
- 14
-
January 10, 2008 at 4:30 pm
- You must be logged in to create new topics.
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.YesNoPrivacy policy
You can revoke your consent any time using the Revoke consent button.Revoke cookies
