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A forum for Advice about Love, Sex and Relationships...
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how to deal with inequality compare to young people (no sex and party in youth)? :(
Hi. I'm 27 years old and i never had sex. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high school. Years were flying by and here we are - 27. You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem are those thoughts (facts) that are taking all my will to live away.
I can't deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship.
All things that for most people are normal. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel they all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work.
Also this inequality is showing in communication. You simply have nothing to talk about. I also have no friends, so cant go out. And since i don't have nothing to talk about, i cant meet new people (nothing to talk about even on internet).
Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i don't have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Also i take antidepressants which have taken at least the panic attacs and crying away, because o those thoughts about sex.
But nothing cant take away the facts, that i'm not on same level as those girls who are having sex since highschool, were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24).
Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore, that have normal sex live since their high school. To be honest, the best would be this life would be over and i could sleep forever, to not have this fact thoughts every day...
The problem is, whatever i would do, nothing can change the facts that i will be then a 22 year old boy who had the same amount sex as average boy in this age? Would an experienced men who had a lot of sex and different women want to trade his situation with me? No! This means i am worth nothing and i cant be on his level anymore.
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May 2, 2014 at 5:37 pm
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She’s older than me for 8 years and I love her! Any chance of a serious relationship?
Dear all,
Could you please advise me. I'm 24 years old and I love so much one girl. We're together for almost 6 months. And I could say that our relationships look like miracle because we have very strong feeling that we searched each other for entire life. Pure happiness But there is one thing... she is 32. Yes, I understand that there is an obvious answer: if you love each other, age is not the barrier. But what about realistic point of view? She is in the age when only right choices should take place. It is time to find a reliable man, make children and etc. Yes, I want it too, but... I don't know what is going to be in 10 years. I will be 34 and it means I could make mistakes now while she couldn't. But I love her so much and don't want to hurt her in the future if anything will change!! Just want a mature analysis of such situation.
So, do you have any experience of serious relationships where man is much younger than woman?
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April 29, 2014 at 11:29 pm
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My boyfriend is 23 and a virgin…..
I'm dating a guy who's 23. I'm 20. We've dated in the past but I suffered from a breakdown and I cut off all contact with him and lots of people as it's what I needed at the time - I hate that I did that. But I was suffering quite badly with PTSD from an abusive relationship during teenage years.
anyway that's not the point, I'm not really sure how to approach him on the subject of sex and such things? We're long distance so we've never done anything. But he's coming to stay at mine this weekend....
I want to speak to him about whether or not he feels ready for that step of things, he's a Virgin... And I respect that as I didn't get the choice over the person who took my virginity and I wish I did.
I feel like I'm damaged or used goods and he's just not going to be interested in me in that sense... I know him being 23 and a virgin would make some people think WTF but he was religious and believed in no sex till after marriage but he now says he doesn't believe that and he classes himself as non religious.
I want to respect him as a person and what not but do guys cherish virginity in a way that girls do?...
is he going to want to talk about the subject or just get in bed ? Lol
Obviously goes without saying I want to sleep with him. But what do I do about this? The only virgin I've slept with stole my virginity (i didn't give consent to the sex) gah someone tell me what to do!?!? I feel like a teenager again not knowing these kinds of things.
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April 10, 2014 at 3:55 am
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Men don’t really want a lot of sex?!?
I am frustrated. I have been in a relationship, for 2 years, it started as a sex affair. So everything was great, lots of sex and fun. Then we fell in love and it was perfect. But only 1 month later he started rejecting me. In the end we had sex maybe once in two weeks. That is not enough for me. He didn't understand. I tried to just go with it and was hoping it would get better or I could change/accept. Anyway, the relationship ended two years later.
Then I met my current boyfriend. We were friends and talked about our last relationships. We found out, that we both wanted more sex of our partners. We felt connected and could understand each other. That felt amazing. He said, he couldn't understand how a man wouldn't want to have sex with me, as I was so sweet and sexy.
And there we are now: We have been a couple for about two years and are still happy together, but I am always the one who seduces him or generally starts with sex. He often says he doesn't feel like it. I would be happy with 2-3 times a week, but for him it is too much. Quite often I find myself playing with my toys while my boyfriend is watching tv. :-(
How comes, that men always tell you, they wouldn't say no, but then they do anyway...
I don't believe that anymore. I can just laugh about posts and chats where men say, I could fuck everyday. Because they simply just cannot!!!!!
Or are there any girls who can prove me wrong?
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April 8, 2014 at 2:01 am
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Sex problems with my girlfriend
Well am new to the forum..i've been having these problems for a while now. well a bit too long for me to handle and it really gets me down so here it goes
I've been with my girlfriend nearly two years now. am 19 she is 18 we used to have a lot of sex and i mean a lot but the last year things happened i confessed that i cheated on her which made things bad but she forgave me 1 month after and its been 9-10 months since then now but i still dont have her trust. she acts like a maniac when it comes to trust issues.
she seems she doesnt trust me at all! she trusts me as much as i would trust a 3 year old with my car and an unexpected pregnancy happened to one and a half year ago which led us to have an abortion. i know that hurt her a lot..i know it hurts me..but now sex has been a problem for a long time! we do it once in a month maybe two. i tried to talk to her about it cause it makes me feel bad..i mean sometimes it really gets me down! but she doesnt seem to be interested in sex at all.
she gets angry and she says i dont get her. but i mean cmon! wtf? i mean yeah she feels bad about the sex thing sometimes but i do feel too! all i ask for is a good word from her. that everythings gonna be back to normal eventually. and all i get is her anger. now when it comes to sex. i cant even discuss it with her. it gives me the chills knowing she'll get mad again. dont get me wrong here guys. i love her i want her to be happy but i want myself to be happy and feel good with my relationship too! i mean its not like am asking for something unreal here! am not asking to have sex everyday but more often would be good..texting each other and dirty talking would be nice.
sex is good for both parties physical and psychological. She sometimes pushes me away. times like now. which i gave it a better thought and felt bad! I really really express my feelings for her in a daily baisis! i always give her a lift when she asks for it. and sometimes i volunteer for it!
i text her 2-3 times a week during night time when she is asleep with poems..or just my words saying what i feel for her. i know when am wrong and say sorry. i know she loves me. at least thats what i thing and my friends too.
what is wrong with me?! or what is wrong with her? am i doing something wrong? i know am ok with her no lies trying to help her when she has problems. am always there for her! where have i gone wrong?? i really need to do something. as i dont wanna break up over sex. but it makes me feel bad almost everyday.
Any help would be appreciated..
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April 7, 2014 at 11:41 pm
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Im CLUELESS please please help!
Hi everyone, this is a little long please bear with me. Okay im 22 years old and I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to dating. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 months now but it’s a long distance thing.
We were out in a public ,on a bridge and we were basically leaning on the rail. At times I’d put my head down between my arms and he would bend down to look at my face and also caressed my cheek, chin and pinched my nose. He also pinched my nose when I put my head up.
He put right arm around me and held my right hand with his. In that position he even put his head against mine or my left shoulder at times. He also put his thumb on my lower lip and sort of pulled it down and touched it. He put his face right next to mine and looked at me. Did he want to kiss me?
He was staring at me for a while and said he thinks my face is beautiful
He stood behind me with one leg on a stoop at one point and I could feel his pelvis against my bum. So I innocently shifted positions a few times so my bum rubbed against that area lightly. A while later I could have sworn I felt something move very slightly and a very mildly wet feeling against my bum. What was that? He later kept accidentally touching my leg with his leg , even went so far to put my hand on his thigh over his jeans.
Another thing he did a lot of was crossing his arms over the rail and placing my left hand on top of his arm, then using my hand to rest his head down on. With his head down on my hand he would kiss it constantly and nibble on it and rub his chin on it. He did this kissing thing for a long time. I noticed he was breathing faster
I blew in his ear a few times to be playful and noticed he has this dazed squinty eye expression with a light smirk when he put his head back up, then he put it back down on my hand and was mildly panting sort of and his face got very very warm. He kissed my hand more and he kissed my cheek after a while. Was he turned on?
Later on at night he got a bit touchy feely trying to put his arms around my waist and trying to get me to put my arms around him. All I did was run my fingers on his palm and he said he got goosebumps, I’m guessing that turned him on?
He holds my hand whatever chance he gets and doesn’t want to let go. Even takes my hand in his arm and and we walk around like that, at one point he squeezed it really hard.
I can’t decipher him does he actually care for me or is this just physical?
He calls me daily and misses me when we go 1 or 2 days without talking. We can talk for hours over the phone but in person when we meet we are usually very quiet.
Also, I’m a modest person so does it make me less modest by letting him do these things?
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March 28, 2014 at 12:16 am
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I love banal sex
Please shut me up!
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February 12, 2014 at 11:28 pm
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I love canal sex
Help!
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February 12, 2014 at 11:27 pm
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Need help
My best friend had 2 days left on her period when she and her man had sex and he came in her. Now she's paranoid saying she won't get pregnant. I heard its one of the biggest times to get pregnant, am I right? What should I tell her?
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February 12, 2014 at 4:48 pm
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A Long Story
I have been with my fiancé for almost 10 years. We cannot get legally married because we both draw social security and we would lose money. In November of 2012 I had gastric bypass surgery and my fiancé saw it worked well for me so she got it done but got really sick and since September of 2013 she has been staying with her grandmother. We have a 2 year old son together so she wanted more help with him then I could offer due to an eye condition. She and I have had a lot of problems for years because we had difficulty having a baby and it took a major toll on our relationship. We both grew bitter and would snap easily at each other. I am bi polar and we both have bad mood swings and I would say hurtful things. 2 months before she moved in with her grandmother, my grandmother who I was very close to passed away and despite how I felt I remained alone. On December 20th 2013 my mother who I was never really close to died from psurosis of the liver from years of alcohol abuse. The 20th was also my son's 2nd birthday. She continued to let me stay here alone. We did have a fight before my mother died where I blacked out and don't remember anything but was told I said very hateful and sick things to her which caused her aunt the day after Christmas to talk her into changing her cell number and call me telling me my fiancé wanted nothing else to do with me and if I called out to her grandmother's house she would get a restraining order. I since talked to my fiancé and she said I need help or else she doesn't want to be with me. Because of the holidays today was the first time I could get in to see a therapist and when I got home and called my fiancé to tell her how it went her grandmother answered and got mad and said if I called back she would call the cops and get the restraining order against me. I am grieving very badly and the only person left I am related to is my grandfather and he is in bad shape just losing his wife of 53 years and his daughter. I live 4 hours away from my grandfather and am in the area where my fiancé's family lives. They have all turned their backs on me. I have no one and I don't know what to do.
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February 12, 2014 at 4:45 pm
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Sexual Energy!
If you know how to earn Sexual Energy and How open are we when it comes to talking.
Read more this article so go fresexy.blogspot.com.
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January 27, 2014 at 5:26 am
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Support groups for sex and relationships problems
National support groups
Family life
British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS)
CAREconfidential
Family Planning Association
Foresight (preconceptual care)
Infertility Network UK
Institute of Family Therapy
Marie Stopes International
One Parent Families Scotland
For teenagers
Brook
Caledonia Youth
Youth Access
Fundamentally female
Association for Post-natal Illness
Miscarriage Association
National Association for Premenstrual Syndrome
National Endometriosis Society
Pni-SHA Post Natal Illness-support and Help Association
Verity (the polycystic ovaries self help group)
WellBeing
Women's Aid
Women's Health
Women's Health Concern
Women's Support Project
HIV and AIDS
National Aids Trust
The Terrence Higgins Trust
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Support
Armistead Project, The
Broken Rainbow
FFLAG - Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays
Gender Trust, The
Rape and domestic violence
London Lighthouse
Mankind
Rape Crisis
Refuge
Samaritans, The
Relationships
2as1
Accord Marriage Care
College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists
Institute of Psychosexual Medicine
RELATE
Relationships Scotland
Sex problems
Sexual Dysfunction Association
Related conditions
BackCare- The National Organisation for Healthy Backs
British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies
Cruse Bereavement Care
MIND
Prostate Cancer Charity
Spinal Injuries Association
Others
Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome Support Group
Izzy's Promise
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January 25, 2014 at 10:44 pm
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Love problems
Me and my girlfriend have had sex for about half a year.
Sometimes it was disappointing due to my frenulum breve causing my PE. But sometimes it was great, with hour of pleasure.
About two weeks ago me and my girlfriend had sex. After first fast ejaculation my penis was semi erect but I entered her anyway hoping that it will come harder. After few minutes of thrusting she said to get off her. After removing she says now that had a very big pain somewhere inside.
Two days after the intercourse I even made frenuloplasty to convince her that it was my fault and won't happen again.
After that we met each other twice and she could not stand my touch even on her shoulder. She says that even touch hurts her and feels some kind of hate to me. She does not want to chat also and says that it's better to break up. She is frustrated and may be very scared because I am her first and last yet. Except that she has permanent back rib pain that make us to abstain from some positions and has dryness sometimes. This made me to think that she had psychological problems and tried to calm her down and explain that it was my fault and will be ok. But situation is getting worse.
I really love her and this situation really hurts me a lot and becoming stressed day by day. If anyone know what can be the cause of the problem and how can I solve this please help.
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December 30, 2013 at 10:36 am
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What are we doing?
I'd just like some clarity on this, no biggie.
I met this guy about 7months ago. We went on a couple of dates together, slept together, etc. Then it sort of fizzled out because we were both quite busy.
Fast forward to September and he contacted me again, asking if he could come over. Since we hadn't interacted in a while and there was nothing else implied, I assume we were just FBs and went with that.
Last month he quit his job and when he came over he wanted to talk. He told me about the situation surrounding his resignation and asked me what I thought he should do. I gave him the best advice I could. He asked to spend the night. Again, I thought it was no big deal.
He's been messaging me a lot more since then, just asking how my day was, chatting, etc. He wants to be a chef and keeps telling me how much
he'd like to cook for me. He wants to spend Christmas together, too.
What do you think? Is this guy trying to go for more or what? I don't really mind either way, but since I know he's pretty shy, I don't think he'll be straight with me about his intentions. Should I just ride it out and see what happens, or try to take some initiative myself?
Basically I'd like to know how you guys might handle this situation.
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December 20, 2013 at 2:53 pm
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Advice on wot to do …???
seriously for a moment ...Eeek ...the lowdown.................................
i met this georgous man .we hit it off from go .everything in common morals principles loves hates, everything.more in common than i had with my ex ...after 4 wks of constant e mails text pics .late nite convos we met...perfect...carried on for a few more weeks then he said he had a problem he wasnt over his ex.
feelings will me had brought it all home that he still kinda loved her ....
but she was a bitch to him .....but that dont seem to matter .:cry:
he called it a day an i was guttedhe said lets be freinds ....ok................fine ..i gave him space ........
weeks passed i was hurting an we hardly spoke .....he then told me that he dont want a girlfreind just mates, then oi found out thru freinds that he i s actually still looking to meet someone . i asked him to level with me in a convo a few days later an he said yes he would like to meet someone an he says im not for him ........
no im too frickin good pal!!!raaa
hehee
ive been upset cos i really liked him .an no one has made mi feel like him ....:crazy_dru
crazy like a teenager in love
so,to take my mind off i had a mate come up from brighton we had the wknd together had a laff...talked but at the back of my mind hes there...
last nite he came on msn (the guy im into) an we talked no pressure ... he said wish es we had had sex...an he often thinks of me in that way ....then propesioned me ..would i fancy being fuk buddies ...i said wot you mean like fuk until one of us meets someone else an he said ...oohhh i dont know .....
best thing is he dont want no cheap girl...has respect for me if i say yeah ok lets do it ..hell just do it .then move along an meet someone else then i get hurt again ...:cry:
i said not a good idea..
even tho i want him sooo very bad.
an then we chatted about his health an life an stuff......i miss our talks ..an when i signed off from him he said talk soon yeah ...
my mates have gone barmy ...hes a twat they say ..he knows how you feel hes just thinking of himself.
i deleted him from msn .. a week ago as i was so upset i had to just let go ..it was hard then .he got back in touch ....
any advise would help.
dont tell me to delete him .tho again an forget him i cant .an i feel id rather have him there as a mate for now than loose him for good ....but obviously not sleep with him thatd be too easy ...dunno wot to do....:cry: mixed up ...im in love with him ......................i think.
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May 10, 2007 at 4:25 pm
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