JP/US/DE : Takeo Ischi "Chicken Attack" Some Americans have now made a video with Takeo in Japan, where he acts as a superhero (somewhat curiously wearing similar clothing to some Lutheran priests!) and combining modern R and B ballad singing with yodelling in English with a mixed Bavarian and Japanese accent...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8pknnncODo
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UK : East : Essex is crap (Spitting Image 1991) I came very close in the late 1980s to growing up there as well (and now live only 10km from the border).
This video is still true 25 years later :laugh_at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fRGRR9SUyw
UK : NW : Wigan pensioner triggers airport security alert with large pork pie “The people in security said they have never seen that before. It must have been a very juicy pie.
“He was allowed to take it through security but I’m not sure if it lasted until he got on the flight.
“Norman is a Wiganer, so he really is a pie eater. He’s always been fond of pies.”
:laugh_at:
Pensioner's bag searched at Manchester Airport - because of particularly juicy pork pie - Manchester Evening News
Linux / networking jokes :) Found on a page I got retweeted today :laugh_at: (you might need to know something about how computer networks operate to get most of them....)
I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.
I think there is a duck in my router. It always goes NAT, NAT, NAT.
So I want to dress up as a UDP packet for Halloween, but I don’t know if anyone will get it.
I could tell you an ICMP joke but it would probably be repetitive.
I wanted to write an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
IPv4 address space walks into a bar and yells “One strong CIDR please, I’m exhausted!”
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
SYN flood.
SYN flood who?
Knock knock.…
Q. What is a Unix or Linux sysadmin’s favourite hangout place?
A. Foo Bar
A RAID member disk walks into a bar. Bartender asks what’s wrong?
“Parity error.”
“Yeah, you look a bit off.”
Linux geek started working at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.
Q. What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A. A URLologist.
Amazon sent me this marketing email a few days ago.. Not sure what to make of this and/or WTF Amazon thinks I might be up to!
I had been looking at rosary beads but of better quality (I'm sure they weren't in the toy section either) - as well as a "grown ups" pen case (to keep my fountain pens in) as well a cheap rubber snake and some rubber rats/mice but none of these are intended for any sinful purposes - the fake animals are to test an animal detector I plan to build (so I know when to watch for creatures in the garden and photograph them)
[IMG]https://www.partyvibe.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=155424&d=1472405082[/IMG]
UK : England : NW : Flawed passport photo makes Salford man look like Hitler. Only in Britain :laugh_at:
Passport image 'made man look like Adolf Hitler' - BBC News
Good that the Passport office are at least acceptiing they've made a mistake and fast tracking a free replacement; especially with UK "tourists" in recent times found to be joining terrorist groups, preying on children or just being ignorant and racist (including two English right wing activists making Nazi salutes in a DE concentration camp museum which is totally illegal) a lot of foreign border controls are not going to think its a joke...
AT : Alpenrebellen – Die Leut am Land From 1994 - surreal even by Austrian standards (the lyrics are about the joys of living in a small village up a mountain but explain that they do enjoy "normal" pop music as well (they even borrowed the å from Danish for the Austrian dialect) :laugh_at:
These dudes kept their band going until 2013 although some are now working on solo projects and one of the chaps is a music teacher in the local high school....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp2BNdCYAmY
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Polka tånz'n woll’n?
Wir kennen a an Twist und tuan gern rock’n roll’n.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Oberkrainer hör’n?
Wir håb'n an Elton John genau so gern.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Kastelruther mög’n?
An Guns’n Roses Sound, da hab’n wir nix dageg’n.
Wer sågt denn, då die Leut am Lånd, die san doch gar nit in,
i woaß nur, dass i då sehr glücklich bin.
5, 6 Häuser und a Kirchn glei' daneb’n,
in so an Dorf, då låsst sich’s leb’n.
Und der Pfårrer und der Bäcker kennt mein Nåm’,
bei uns am Lånd, då hålt'n d’Leut noch z’såmm.
Und schaut uns oana (einer) aus der Stådt so voller Mitleid ån,
då låch i gråd, so laut i låch’n kånn.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Polka tånz'n woll’n?
Wir kennen a an Twist und tuan gern rock’n roll’n.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Oberkrainer hör’n?
Wir håb'n an Elton John genau so gern.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Kastelruther mög’n?
An Guns’n Roses Sound, da hab’n wir nix dageg’n.
Wer sågt denn, då die Leut am Lånd, die san doch gar nit in,
i woaß nur, dass i då sehr glücklich bin.
Und der Sommer riacht bei uns nåch frisch'm Heu,
dås ist mein Dorf, wie ich mi freu.
Då am Kirchenplåtz, då steh’n die Leut beinånd' -
i leb so gern, so gern bei uns am Lånd.
Und sågt uns oana (einer) aus der Stådt: „Ihr seids doch hinten drån.“
Dånn låch i gråd, so laut i låch’n kånn.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Polka tånz'n woll’n?
Wir kennen a an Twist und tuan gern rock’n roll’n.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Oberkrainer hör’n?
Wir håb'n an Elton John genau so gern.
Wer sågt denn, dass die Leut am Lånd nur Kastelruther mög’n?
An Guns’n Roses Sound, da hab’n wir nix dageg’n.
Wer sågt denn, då die Leut am Lånd, die san doch gar nit in,
i woaß nur, dass i då sehr glücklich bin.
So a guy walks into a doctor’s office… A guy walks into his doctor's office to have his eyes checked. The doctor finally calls him back and gives him a once over.
"Mr. Jones, you've got to stop masturbating." The doctor said.
"Why doctor! Am I going blind?!" Mr. Jones cried out.
"No, Mr. Jones, but you're upsetting everyone in the waiting room." Doctor says.
eheh eheh ehehhhhh........
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