11 jokes only smart people will understand http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/11-jokes-only-smart-people-will-understand--Wygs002Fgb?utm_source=indy&utm_medium=top5&utm_campaign=i100
UK : LDN : Metpol Rave Squad from 2005 (repost) Hopefully I don't get pulled up by Fremantle or whatever Thames is these days for reusing their theme tune...
The dude in the pig head is Malcolm aka "Mal Quaeda" who was part of one of the Bristol crews and always up to some sort of bizzare stunt or prank :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMFm4h5sj8E
MS Cortana picture recognition flaw [IMG]https://www.partyvibe.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=155267&d=1462876514[/IMG]
So not only could you end up being menaced by a bear instead of having a quiet pipe, by the time you eventually find your pipe the bear cubs have nicked your tobacco - on top of which you get a €500 fine via the animal protection agencies for encouraging them to take up this bad habit :laugh_at:
UK : NE : Not that different from our European neighbours It doesn't surprise me that Tryptameanies dads mate was a good yodeller; and they even have the chicken thieves to deal with up there...
POLICE have spoken of their surprise at finding a car full of chickens after chasing a motorist who failed to stop.
Officers from Cleveland and Durham Road Policing Unit were on routine patrol when they became aware of a car and started to follow it, between Horden and Easington, County Durham, last night (Monday, April 19).
The driver continued and abandoned the car in Peterlee. He ran off, but was arrested in nearby woods. When police checked the car they found it packed with chickens and tools believed to have been taken in a burglary earlier in the evening.
12 chickens found in car after police chase (From The Northern Echo)
CT : PTT Telecom textmessage test Hans de Ruyter, head engineer of PTT Telecom Cigarettestan Radiocommunications Division once lived in Groningen, Netherlands where he worked for Agentschap Telecom until one cold winter he was assigned to track down a pirate transmitter and this occured...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_M53keMvCGo
after a fruitless search for his lost toupée he decided to trudge back to his peilauto; where he encountered a young lad on a bicycle who introduced himself as Ahmed; offered Hans a cigar (which he gratefully accepted) and said "in our country you we need chaps like you, and weather is far better, our bears are friendlier than others in the region and there are less snik (snake) and not any tiger or lepoard other than at zoo". (these animals sometimes menace telecoms engineers working on remote sites in Asian nations)
Hans was himself a music lover and never enjoyed shutting down the pirates anyway (and could also take his early retirement in Europe).
He was soon on the next KLM flight to Kuala Lumpur, where he got the boat to the Peoples Republic of Cigarettestan - not the most luxurious vessel (as it also transports halibut from Japan to the Phillipines; the cabin crew do considerately provide clothes pegs for passengers to put on their noses).
Unlike many other nations today not only does Cigarettestan welcome visitors and immigrants they get an official royal welcoming ceremony from His Majesty King Ahmed Nosmo (natives and foreigners of all ancestry and religion joyfully take part in as a national holiday is declared so it is an excuse for a big party)
although there is no complicated citizenship test; it is customary for immigrants to tell a story and/or sing a folk song about what made them decide to travel to the country - Hans performed this in both his native Gronings dialect and English; wearing lederhosen and a traditional Asian conical hat (or the sun would be too hot upon his head). As Band II broadcast licensing is much more liberal in CT he doesn't need to worry about extra ventilator fans depriving him once more of his headgear (they are often added to TX equipment but are just to stop overheating due to the tropical weather).
His song is regularly used to test the SMS message network...
AT : Konis Hupen (fröhliche Fahrrad-Hupen Polka :) I didn't even know that it was possible to get bicycle horns with different tones. This lot are from Tirol where doing this may make sense as if even they encounter Bears they would get left alone (Mutter-Bärin would not want her cubs associating with diese verrückte Leute). It wouldn't be advisable for them to do a tour of Deutschand whilst playing this music on their bikes though; they'd most likely get pulled up by the Fahrradpolizei, fined €2 500 and deported to Turkey :laugh_at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcRyjkYdDxM
Mit Konis Hupen ist Stimmung garantiert,
weil bei uns Show und Spaß ganz groß geschrieben wird.
Und Konis Hupen, das weiß doch jedes Kind,
erklingen immer da, wo Freunde sind.
Someone put David Cameron on Ebay
David Cameron's pissed a lot of people off recently. It's common knowledge that after the whole Panama Papers incident the people of Britain are not happy.
So what should we do? Organise a massive protest? Yeah, done that. How about take the mick out of the fact he put his penis in a dead pig's mouth? Nah, it's been done.
Got it.
"Used Prime Minister. No longer needed. Needs a bit of TLC. No box or instructions.
"Buyer must collect. Seller not prepared to touch item. Pick up from central London, address will be supplied on completion of sale. Buyer must arrange own transport."
Someone Put David Cameron On eBay And It Was Brilliant | The LAD Bible
:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:
DE : Why German Cats always obey the Frauen und Mädchen I first heard this on Dutch national radio a week ago (during all the atmospherics) - it was quite surreal TBH
although credited to Rossini it was written by an Englishman and a German who studied music in Denmark
EN : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duetto_buffo_di_due_gatti
DE : https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duetto_buffo_di_due_gatti
DK : Hyggemusik for klaver - Katte cavatine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1wXNHllYFE
Comedian From The Future Stuck In Present Time! Lets All Give Him A Little Love. <3 ATTENTION!
[ATTACH=CONFIG]154367[/ATTACH]
I am a COMEDIAN from the FUTURE sent back to what is right now, present time.
I am here to SAVE SOUL, SPEAD LOVE, & HAPPINESS. We all deserve a LIFE so that is why i have given my fellow people a gift from my HEART. My name is Noah Tidwell and YOU have become apart of his EXPERIENCE!
CLICK THE EXPERIENCE BELOW:
The Noah Tidwell Experience
Thanks,
Noah Tidwell
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