Party Vibe

i wanted to write about my absolutely terrifying experience with the RC 25-I NBOMe.

before I start, I am not too big on hallucinogenic drugs, I’ve barely ever touched them. I also want to mention that I do suffer from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and bipolar disorder.. so I shouldn’t have been experimenting anyway because of my rocky mental stability.

my best friend came home from college for xmas break. i will refer to her as “Q”..the guy she liked (at the time) also happened to be someone I’ve known awhile, so every once in awhile, we’d all chill together… we will refer to him as “Y”..

Q and myself were trying to find something fun to do.. we ended up spending the whole day with Y and some of his friends he had with him. Y had so many connections & suggested we all trip together. ive done lsd before and it was okay, so I wasn’t opposed to it… BIG mistake

After a whole day of riding around with Y, we found “acid” from some random.. kinda felt sketchy since it was so cheap.. but I just let it roll off my shoulders, I wanted to have fun. I put two tabs on my tongue shortly after we got them.

roughly 7pm: two tabs on tongue, tasted terrible. I knew right then that what I ingested was not pure LSD, but I didn’t really think it was a big deal. I knew nothing about RCs, I still don’t know much..

7:40: it begins to kick in, some colorful geometric shapes, just like Lsd.. but I felt so sick, everything internally was tightening up. we smoked a blunt and things began to intensify. not too bad.

8:00: back to Y’s house to trip safely.. there were 5 people tripping including myself. Y put on some family guy. I started to feel intense anxiety and fear for no reason, I knew I might be falling into a bad trip but I couldn’t control it. my brain was so confused, my emotions were all mixed up! I would laugh and a split sec later I would begin to cry uncontrollably, I just felt scared. I layed on the couch, & closed my eyes to attempt to chill out.

9:00: this is where I lost it.. it was like I was sleeping, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t see anything besides what my brain was creating. these weren’t visuals, they were vivid, dark, 3D reoccurring patterns. there were two that I remember most. one was like i was in hell, and the acid was MELTING my brain.. I couldn’t see reality, or where I was. I remember trying to crawl into a couch, but I don’t know if that really happened. I was STUCK in some hellish place that I couldn’t escape. the images are honestly indescribable, they were so fucking vivid. but not being able to grasp reality and the feeling that I just destroyed my entire brain had me saying repeatidly “MAKE IT STOP” .. it was a dark pattern that was almost rewinding?
like I was getting further and further away from reality..
it was trying to escape this, but it just wouldn’t stop. it’s really hard to describe what I saw, so it’s kinda hard to help someone else try to visualize or understand it.

I think I came back to reality for a few min because I ended up in my house. my dad saw me and I was hysterically crying, drenched in sweat in 40 degree weather. he KNEW right then I did something. My heart was racing, my body temp was off, it was like the parts of my brain that controls body temp, heart rate, and blood pressure was out of control. I do believe this was a non-fatal overdose, and I could have EASILY died from the stress and confusion my body was experiencing.

somehow walked back to Ys house and I walked right in .. (I would never do that in my right mind) I was completely out of it, everyone I was with that night had been outside chilling since I went home, but I didn’t see them before I walked back over, and barged in Y’s house trying to find everyone..
I am still embarrassed when I think about it..

this is the interesting part that changed my life forever. the actual peak of my trip was beginning, the worst part. I have no idea where I was at this moment.

this is what I thought was reality: my parents saw me tripping, told them I was dying, my brain was destroyed and I couldn’t see but someone
called the cops.. a bunch of cops arrive, one begins asking me questions. I couldn’t see his face but I could hear his voice – “are you under the influence of any illegal drugs?” “can you tell me where you got it?” (I know sounds kinda cheesy) but he knew the answer and I felt overwhelmed with questions. i thought this was actually happening, I was panicking. I couldn’t see a thing!!!!

I could hear my dad in the back cussing and freaking out and quickly my vision changed to me standing outside of my body watching myself die. EMTs were trying to revive me but I wasn’t responding. I could see my parents in agony and fear. that was the WORST
part. I saw how my parents would’ve reacted if I really did pass away. it was so realistic. I couldn’t get back inside my body. I really thought I was dead. I was trying so hard to get back in my body, but I just couldn’t!!

some time went by where
i don’t remember anything and I still
couldnt come back to reality. I just don’t quite know what was going on during this time.. I was filled in later when I sobered up.

next thing I remember was Q holding my hand, I kept asking at least 50 times… “am I dead?” “are you my mom?” and constant “TAKE ME HOME TAKE ME TO MY MOM I NEED MY MOM!” I was scaring Q so bad, she was terrified I wouldnt snap out of it. holding Q’s hand felt like my moms hand.
i kept thinking it was her.
I kept my hands around my neck, kinda like I was going to choke myself but really, I couldn’t breathe..

or could I? I have no idea.

next, some type of “entity” was talking to me, it wasn’t a random figure or thing, it was my best friend sitting next to me, but she wasn’t the one speaking to me.. it was an angel or something .. I’m very religious.. it said something like “look at who you are surrounding yourself with, do you want this life..its not too late for you” etc. ithought the only way I could survive was to get back to my mom, ASAP, and get away from these
people.. I guess that’s how my brain interpreted what the “entity” was telling me.

of course they didn’t take me home because they wanted to keep my out of trouble, so once again I believed I had died. this time, wasnt as harsh. It was getting to the point where I just didn’t know if I was alive or not.

i was easing my way back to sobriety, it was 12:00 midnight. I kept asking questions because things were kind of coming together (barely)

i grasped reality, FINALLY. I told everyone what had just happened and they told me none of that ACTUALLY Happened! it was all a fake trip with hallucinations/dreaming that my brain just made up on its own

once I realized none of that was real, and I wasn’t dead, I was SO
RELIEVED..i don’t think I’ve ever felt such intense relief.
if my best friend wasn’t there, I don’t know that I would’ve made it.. we both were around the wrong people. I will never forget what I experienced.

I will never look at life the same ever again.

25-I NBOMe almost took my life.