Forums › Drugs › Ecstasy & MDMA › Advice Needed For Open Minded (But Worried) Boyfriend
Hi guys,
Just looking for a little advice, as my drug knowledge is very limited. As far as my personal experience goes I’ve tried and will ocassionally smoke weed (but don’t really enjoy it), and have once tried cocaine at a friend’s house (I was a little drunk but I assume it was a fairly dodgy batch of cocaine as the effects were barely noticable). I have had what I would call a mild dependance on alcohol for a year or two, but have cut down significantly and am still cutting back.
I am not against drugs in principle, and fully support safe drug taking, testing kits at festivals, etc etc. I personally believe the majority of drugs should be legalised – as I feel the criminilisation of illicit drugs only creates more crime, and leads to dangerous products, etc etc (I’m sure I don’t need to rattle through these arguments here). Besides, if someone wants to take a drug, they can find a way despite it’s illegal status. If someone doesn’t want to take a drug, they won’t just start just because it’s legal.
Which is why I’m here really. Information and education. For me.
Basically the crux of it is that I’m worried about my girlfriend. She’s 29 and has been a heavy drug user in the past. I don’t fully know to what extent as she hasn’t gone into loads of detail, but I know she used to take drugs every week, and from what I’ve gathered it was a pretty wide range of substances. Definitely cocaine, ecstasy pills, MDMA caps, but I’m assuming that’s nowhere near the end of the list. She also mentioned she used to sell pills for a dealer just so that she could get free pills for herself. Not the smartest move fiscally, I wouldn’t have thought, but w/e.
We have been dating for about 4 months now, and on one drunken night a couple of months in I mentioned that I was worried she saw me as too boring (because I have little to no drug experience, or real desire to get into it), and she mentioned that she didn’t, but that SHE was worried that I’d be judgemental of her for the drugs and things she’s done previously. I told her I wasn’t going to judge her on things she’d done in the past, and I stand by that. However I was still worried about her current drug use.
After a week or two of putting it off I finally asked her what drugs she still takes, and how often. I already knew she was still on them (particularly at festivals and concerts) and she hadn’t really tried to hide it – it just hadn’t come up in conversation because I’m not totally comfortable talking about it, and she doesn’t talk to me openly about it without being asked (probably still afraid of judgement).
She said she still takes pills and MDMA caps, depending on what she can get, but just does it now on “special ocassions”. I wouldn’t really have too much of a problem with this, but “special ocassions” seems to pretty much just mean “any concert, any festival, or any event with my best friends”. In the time I’ve known her there’s at least 7-8 ocassions that I know of that she’s taken some combination of pills/caps (because she’s told me that she had/was going to), meaning she still does it 1-2 times per month.
I’ve done fairly extensive reading, as I’m not one to jump to unreasonable conclusions without knowing what I’m talking about (as I hope you can tell), and the general consensus seems to be that 1-2 times a month is a fair bit more than is healthy/safe (especially factoring in the fact that – I assume – she takes quite heavy doses as she must’ve built up a tolerance over the years).
I worry that she’s already done significant damage to her body/brain from her younger days, and that her consistent use now is exacerbating her problems.
She has been sick for work 3 times since we’ve been together, and every time it was in the first day or two back at work a few days after she’d taken drugs. She will always spend pretty much the next full day in bed (often the majority of the next two-three days), and I feel is generally more irritable/emotional/flat for a good deal of time after (I do realise this is subjective and there’s probably a large deal of confirmation bias at play, but I think it’s still worth a mention).
She has been sick a number of times (remember we’ve only been together 4 months) with upset stomachs, headaches, dizzy spells – she’s actually sick at the moment, as it was her best friend’s hens night on the weekend (four days ago) so she royally fucked herself up that night.
She also has a tonne of back problems, and can barely walk after a festival (though I realise this isn’t uncommon), and is generally in terrible shape. From a fitness/general health perspective that is – I still think she’s a stunningly beautiful girl with a great bod (!) – she just treats it like crap.
I guess I’m just looking to tap into the wealth of experience that you guys have on frequency of use, come-downs, negative side effects, etc. Does it sound like the majority of these problems are probably linked to her using too much? What’s a safe amount (if there is one) for someone in her situation?
I’ve told her that I’m not totally comfortable with her doing it but I don’t want to tell her what to do with her life. I still feel that way, I want her to make her own decisions but I guess I’d just like her to know that I believe she needs to take a really good look at her drug use and the effect it’s having on her life. Today I mentioned I’m worried about her because she doesn’t look after herself. I didn’t specifically mention the drugs, but she seemed to respond to my concern.
Anyway, give me whatever advice you’ve got – I kinda think I really wanted to just chuck this out there partly to get it all off my chest and get all my thoughts out of my head and down on some virtual paper, so thanks so much if any of you have taken the time to read through my ramblings, and even more if you take the time to respond.
Cheers guys!
Hello my friend. What an excellent post and I can tell you have put thought into what you have said but at the same time it is apparent to me that due to what a bullshitting media and governemnt has forced people to be taught has clouded your impartial analysis.
I will probably post a few replies dealing with different parts of your post as time permits but will say right now, based on my knowledge of compounds and users, I believe her hwen she lists only those compounds as they are typical pary drugs and most other compounds would not be considered for the same purpose.
The other thing which immediately struck me, and I would appreciate if you could post a source for your information, is MDMA being at all damaging when taken monthly/fortnightly or even weekly. I have read many many articles, scientific works on the subject and find not a single shred of evidence for that conclusion. I can see many clueless drug crusading muppets saying crap like that but they have zero training, knowledge or evidence.
I hope you don’t take any of my comments or replies to your post the wrong way my friend, my intention is to provide accurate information always.
@tryptameanie 978223 wrote:
Hello my friend. What an excellent post and I can tell you have put thought into what you have said but at the same time it is apparent to me that due to what a bullshitting media and governemnt has forced people to be taught has clouded your impartial analysis.
I will probably post a few replies dealing with different parts of your post as time permits but will say right now, based on my knowledge of compounds and users, I believe her hwen she lists only those compounds as they are typical pary drugs and most other compounds would not be considered for the same purpose.
The other thing which immediately struck me, and I would appreciate if you could post a source for your information, is MDMA being at all damaging when taken monthly/fortnightly or even weekly. I have read many many articles, scientific works on the subject and find not a single shred of evidence for that conclusion. I can see many clueless drug crusading muppets saying crap like that but they have zero training, knowledge or evidence.
I hope you don’t take any of my comments or replies to your post the wrong way my friend, my intention is to provide accurate information always.
Firstly, thanks so much for your reply.
Secondly, I also believe what she tells me, I wasn’t trying to imply that I didn’t.
As far as where I get the information from – it’s not been mainstream media. I’ve had a pretty good search around to find opinions from people that know more than me about the stuff, and discussions with people that I know who have experience. I’ve also looked around on websites like dancesafe.org and rollsafe.org and other forums and places that promote drug use.
My main concern though, comes from the first hand experience with her that I’ve described post-consumption.
It seemed from the basics of what I’ve read that a couple of weeks just isn’t enough to let your seretonin levels replenish. Is this not true?
Seratonin depletion certainly occurs after using MDMA but the brain replenishes totally within a few days provided, obvioudly, if use of the compound isn’t continued. Depression is very common in almost all users 2-3 days after use but this lasts for no more than 24 hours in my experience and onl;y extremely chronic use could POTENTIALLY leaf to what you believe. I will provide some sources, from actuall doctors and research institutions very shortly my friend.
@tryptameanie 978228 wrote:
Seratonin depletion certainly occurs after using MDMA but the brain replenishes totally within a few days provided, obvioudly, if use of the compound isn’t continued. Depression is very common in almost all users 2-3 days after use but this lasts for no more than 24 hours in my experience and onl;y extremely chronic use could POTENTIALLY leaf to what you believe. I will provide some sources, from actuall doctors and research institutions very shortly my friend.
That will be very interesting. I’d like to be educated. If it’s not seretonin depletion though, then it’s definitely something else. I understand that the science behind the negative side effects isn’t well understood, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real…they definitely are, from others experiences that I’ve read, and from the terrible shape my girlfriend is in (particularly after she uses).
By the way, my goal isn’t to demand that she stops altogether, though I’d like that – it’s to ensure that whatever she’s doing, she does it safely and isn’t hurting herself.
I’ve also looked into supplements and things like those here :http://www.raveshield.com
However your opinion seems to be that MDMA does no damage even with weekly use? So are these supplement kits a hoax? Or are they worth looking into?
Hey, you are absolutely correct that long term studies are not done, but MDMA has been around for 40 years and there are literally billions of trip reports online from people who have used very regularly and didn’t endure what you describe.
This could very easily be a case of outright depression requiring anti-depressant medication (totally useless almost always and as good as placebos but, fuck me, plcebos have shown to be as effective at treating symtoms as 5mg diazepam(.
From my personal experience any physical/mental health problems resulting from moderate MDMA use (which are also caused more by lack of sleep/food and physical/mental exhaustion) are reversible – added to which as soon as a young woman decides she wants to settle down with a long term relationship and maybe even start a family she is very likely cut down and/or stop using drugs completely.
bear in mind also the pressure of normal life can (and does) lead to mental health issues even in non drug users.
Also try to understand, you only think what she’s doing is wrong because it has been drfilled into you by liars. If you went back 150 years, those samwe dickheads would be making ridiculous cases for why slavery is cool.
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Forums › Drugs › Ecstasy & MDMA › Advice Needed For Open Minded (But Worried) Boyfriend
