Hi, folks. Well, the title is fairly straightforward, but I’ll give a bit more info.
From the outset, I want to say that this woman is great in many ways. She’s smart and well educated (she has one Master’s and is on her way toward a second one), strongly independent, funny, she has a great dorky side, and she’s kind but also quite fiery. Great qualities that would make a guy fall for her. Just… not me.
I met this woman through OLD, and after a week of a few email exchanges I got her number. We met up for a coffee date and had good conversation, laughed at dumb jokes, and learned we had plenty in common. All in all, a fun date. But I felt no real attraction whatsoever. When we left we didn’t even so much as hug. My first mistake was not trusting my gut after that and agreeing to see her again when she asked if we could meet up again. The second date was the same thing: more good conversation, funny stories, and this time it ended with a hug. But still, I felt nothing. Yet, we went out on a third date which lasted much longer. At the end of the night our conversation sort of stalled and I had a strong suspicion she was waiting for me to kiss her. I couldn’t, and honestly, I really didn’t want to. But if she was disappointed she seemed to hide it well and we left it at that. We exchanged a text message a couple days later just asking how the other’s been. It’s now been two days since that text and the honest truth is that I don’t care to see her again.
I know I really should have ended it after the first date. And instead of wasting time asking for advice on a forum I should be figuring this out now, but I’m just at a loss. I stupidly believed that maybe the attraction would grow after a couple more dates which is why I ignored my gut instinct and went on the extra dates. She’s a fantastic person, truly, and this is the first time I’ve been the guy to try to break something off. With Valentine’s Day being tomorrow, I know my timing isn’t exactly perfect either.
Maybe I’m getting worked up over too much after only three dates, but I really could use some help. What would be the kindest and most respectful way for me to tell her I’m not interested?
