@Gylfi Sigurðsson 558736 wrote:
ahhh this is about love, no wonder I had no clue, I don’t understand the word or notion of it having never felt it, so I’m pretty useless here.
That doesn’t mean you won’t experience it mate. I’m very similar, or was. I’ve always been quite detached from all my family and never really formed any proper bonds with my family other than my brother. Even on her deathbed I couldn’t bring myself to tell my grandma I loved her; because I didn’t mean it. In retrospect I should have just said it for her sake. But that moment really hammered it home to me that I was so emotionally independent of my family, and then it got me thinking, do I love or have I loved anyone? The answer swiftly became apparent; no.
This upset me somewhat as I began to fear I was incapable of experiencing it. But then being borderline sociopathic I quickly got over this and carried on about my life with my prior opinion of emotional attachment creates weakness. I have a habit that I’m all too aware of of manipulating my perspective of something to justify my actions/feelings towards something or someone. Although that outlook is true, it dismisses all the positives that can come of a deep emotional bond, but it suited me at the time so I went with it.
Then one day, long after I’d relinquished any hopes of finding anyone with whom I could allow such ‘weakness’ to grow, I found myself falling in love. The speed and force with which it hit me was incredible, suddenly phrases such as head over heels and love-drunk had a meaning to me. I was literally incapacitated by love. When it initially struck me I couldn’t function within my normal routines, because I simply couldn’t stop thinking about this amazing woman that had entered my life so unexpectedly. Normal thought patterns were being interrupted every 2 minutes by images of this woman. Love truly is the best mental illness, socially acceptable and feels awesome.
Hope you get to feel it one day Gylfi.
