Bad Joke Thread

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

First woman on the Moon:
“Houston, we have a problem.”
What?
“Never mind”
What’s the problem?
“Nothing”
Please tell us?
“You know what the problem is.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

“It’s weird that the very first vagina you ever see is your mum’s.”

I said to Katie Price’s kid as we were browsing the internet.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

My son told he might be gay, but he wasn’t sure.

So I put on some gay porn, and asked, “Well, does this turn you on?”

Disgusted, he said, “Not really.”

“Why?” I asked. “Do the penises and hairy bums not do it for you?”

“They usually do,” he replied. “But not when it’s you and uncle Kenny.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Honestly the wife does get pissed off over nothing, just yesterday I said to her,

“I don’t mean to be patronising, by the way patronising means being spoken down to…”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Maybe this one won’t make it onto FB lol
“If you eat much more of that you’re going to explode!” said my wife to our young son, as he shovelled in another mouthful of bacon.

Of course, statistically, he’s far more likely to explode if he never eats any bacon at all.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

When travelling abroad, I always smuggle my drugs up the wife’s arse.

If customs wants to root around up there, they fucking deserve to find them.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

They all already have boyfriends.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

It’s a good job me and you don’t use the same joke book Ange lol.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

What’s the definition of a woman’s perfect lover?

A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

@Angel 570324 wrote:

What’s the definition of a woman’s perfect lover?

A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.

Sounds like you want a giraffe.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

I’m not that tall

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

@Angel 570326 wrote:

I’m not that tall

You could kneecap it.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

LMAO

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

The Zimbabwe Cricket Board have just announced that they discovered Ebola in their cricket team. But this has not caused any concern since they have also found Ebatsman and Efielda.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Why is Facebook like Jail?

You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don’t really know!

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