A heavily pregnant mum expecting triplets is walking down the street one day when she is caught up unexpectedly in the crossfire of an armed robbery.
She is rushed to hospital, having sustained 3 gun shot wounds, she’s in a critical state. As she is close to her due date and the doctors don’t know if she’s going to make it, it is decided that her infants should be delivered via emergency C-section.
The mother to be is rushed into theatre. As the surgeons operate, both to extract the traumatised infants and keep the mother alive, they are astonished to discover all three of the triplets have taken a bullet too.
6 hours later the mother awakes, much to the relief of her husband who had been by her side from the moment he was informed of the accident. Despite her critical state her panicked instinct kicks in; “Where are my babies?” she questions her partner, afraid of what the answer may be.
He hesitates for a moment before replying “They’re alive”.
“What does that mean?!” she screams.
A doctor steps forward at this point, “Mrs Huckleberry, your children are all alive, but there are some complications we are unable to treat due to the level of risk involved.”
Now angry, she growls “Tell me exactly what is wrong with my babies”.
The doctor, feeling nervous about delivering this news despite years of treating grieving patients, shuffles his feet awkwardly before saying “Each of your infants also sustained bullet wounds in the accident like yourself, but, whereas the bullets are no longer inside you, they became lodged in your children. Each is in intensive care with a bullet still in them. We have performed X-rays and ascertained that all three of your children have the bullet caught in their gut. All we can hope is that the bullet will be removed by the gut itself and worked through the intestinal tract. But we can’t estimate how long this will take, if the bullet ever does come out”.
After a few days in intensive care the family are allowed to return home.
Miraculously, within 6 weeks all four gunshot victims have fully healed, apart from the entrance scars.
Life goes by for the family for a few years and the incident almost forgotten. One day on her third birthday one of the girls runs up to her mum excitedly. “Mummy” she cries out. “What is it darling?” asks the mother. “I went to the toilet and my bullet fell out” “Excellent!” exclaims the mother hugging her daughter tightly.
Against all the odds the next day the second daughter had the same news to tell her mother.
This had both parents hoping, expecting, against all the odds their son would also pass his bullet the following day.
24 hours pass and nothing has changed for the little boy, his parents are disappointed but still grateful his life had been spared that fateful day and he is still able to lead a normal life.
A week goes by and the parents stop expecting their son to give them the same news the daughters were able to say.
Then one morning the boy runs up to his father pronouncing “It’s out, it’s out”. Knowing it can only mean one thing the father smiles at his son, “I bloody knew you’d be okay too, I’m so proud of you son”
“No” says the little boy, “You don’t understand, I farted and I shot the dog.”
Now was that worth reading? Probably not lol
