Bad Joke Thread

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

What did 1 saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
If we don’t get some support soon, people are gonna think we’re nuts.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop wanking.
I asked, “Why?”
She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

There was a survey on why men liked blowjobs – 5% liked the look, 15% liked the feel and the other 80% liked the silence!

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

“Right, I’ve been thinking,” I said to the oncologist. “I’m not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage, I think it would best to just let the disease take its natural course.”

My wife’s eyes filled with tears. “We should have discussed this together.”

“My mind’s made up,” I insisted.

“I think your wife’s right,” the consultant said. “After all, she’s the one with cancer.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

A wife is like a hand grenade.

Remove the ring, and your house is gone.

[1 kratomdiscover @kratomdiscover Member]

Really hilarious thread, Enjoyed it

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

@kratomdiscover 572837 wrote:

Really hilarious thread, Enjoyed it

Good good.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I was putting our youngest to bed when he asked for a bedtime story.

I checked my watch and saw that the football was starting in ten minutes, so I quickly took down the “Bumper Book of Fairytales” …

… and knocked the little fucker unconscious with it.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

“Have you had a shower today?” I asked my wife. “I can smell your fanny from over here.”

Then she hung up on me.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I was playing Scrabble with my wife last night and I’m sure she was making up words.

What the fuck is ‘Foreplay’ meant to mean anyway?

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

In an effort to be sexy, my girlfriend shoved a lollipop up her pussy.

I said, “That’s lovely, darling, but don’t you need that to get those children across the road?”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I’ve got a great joke about a spastic, deaf, blind ,mute, one legged, homosexual, cross dresser.

But I cant tell it to you because I dont want to be accused of racism if he’s black.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

A woman and a baby are in a doctor’s surgery, where the doctor is concerned about the baby’s weight.
“Is he bottle or breastfed?” asks the doctor. The woman replies, “breast”. With that, the doctor orders her to strip to her waist so he can examine her breasts. After pinching her nipples and sucking and rubbing both of her breasts for some time the doctor says, “No wonder the baby is under weight – you have no milk!”

The woman replies, “I know, I’m his Nan – but I’m glad I came.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure.

So I told him if he didn’t stop bleeding right away, he’d die.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I walked in from work this evening to find my slag of a wife lying on the couch, naked, with her legs in the air, sliding a coat hanger in and out of her pussy.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you whore!” I said. “Have some fucking dignity about yourself and at least use a fucking dildo or something.”

“Oh piss off, Dave,” she snapped. “What do you think I’m looking for?”

[Author]

Posts