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@Angel 575532 wrote:
Me too :lol_fast::lol_fast::lol_fast:
Interesting hehehe.
yep :p
My favorite porn site :banana2:
Forgot all about this smilie ^
@Angel 575534 wrote:
yep :p
My favorite porn site :banana2:
Forgot all about this smilie ^
Not one I’ve really looked at, think I’ll give it a go.
When I was a toddler, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” just after a swear word.
I’ll never forget the first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.
A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear.
Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”
The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.”
“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?”
She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
@Angel 575537 wrote:
A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear.
Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”
The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.”
“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?”
She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
HAHAHA, very good.
You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
“Morning!” he said.
The other man replies, “No, just having a shit.”
So here I am in the Internet Cafe with the biggest fucking nigger I’ve ever seen reading every word I ty
@Angel 575543 wrote:
Why did God create men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn.
He created man 1st dufus lol.
These are fine though:
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because He knew men would never ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don’t want to see what is on TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on TV.
8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor’s appt for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to someone to bear children because men would never be able to handle it.
4. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he put his tools.
3. The Scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone”, he only ends up getting himself in trouble.
And the NUMBER ONE reason…
1. When God finished the creation of Adam he stepped back, scratched his head and said, “I can do better than that.”
My grandma said to me she would rather be dead than having to live with Dementia.
So I suffocated her with a pillow this morning because she already told me that last week.
was on a date with a girl last night when I asked, “Can you give yourself oral sex?”
“No,” she replied. “Can you do it?”
I said, “Yes, take your knickers off.”
A thickset guy is reading the newspaper, when he sees a weight-loss advert that claims to shed “a pound per $10, just call (202) 555-4874”. He figures he’ll give it go.
The operator asks: “how much would you like to lose?”
“ten pounds”, the man replies.
“a representative will be there next morning”, says the operator.
Sure enough, the next morning at 7AM, there’s a ring at the doorbell. The man opens the door, to find a reasonably good-looking girl, stark-naked, save the sign around her neck, reading “If you catch me, you can have me.”
The fat guy chases her all over the house until he catches her and, sure enough, has his way with her. Dragging himself puffing and wheezing to the bathroom scales, he’s overjoyed to find that he’s dropped 10 pounds!
“This is awesome”, he thinks to himself. “I’ll give them another call!”
The same night he gives them a call and says he’d like to lose 20 pounds.
“we’ll send another representative”, the operator says.
The next morning, at 7AM, the man answers the door to find an achingly good-looking girl, naked except for a pair of running shoes and a sign around her neck stating “If you catch me, you can have me.”
The man eagerly chases the girl. It takes him a good deal longer to catch her this time, and after they have sex, he consults the scales. And sure enough, he’s lost 20 pounds!
That night he calls once more, and exclaims “I want to lose 50 pounds!”
“50? isn’t that a bit excessive?”, the operator inquires.
“look, I’m a paying customer, just do it”, the man responds impatiently.
“you’ll meet the representative next morning.”
The next morning the man can hardly contain himself, as he opens the door at 7AM…
To find a huge – we’re talking King Kong – gorilla, fuming and grunting, with a sign around its neck..
“if I catch you…”
My wife told me that her fantasy fuck would be Brad Pitt.
Then she went mental because I told her mine.
Apparently Vicky from next door is neither a celebrity nor thirteen yet.
One of the short-skirted feminists at work confronted me for making a racist remark.
“If you were black, how would you feel right now?” she asked.
“Like raping you”, I replied.
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Forums › The Vibe › Jokes & Comedy › Bad Joke Thread