Bad Joke Thread

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

😉

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business.
One of the hookers said, “Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.”
The other hooker looked at her and said, “Sorry No, I just burped.”

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home.
They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.
“I should tell you, I have acute angina” she said.
The man replied, “thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

The A-Team and Mcgyver were famous for making something out of nothing.

I have them both beat.

I made my son only using alcohol and poor judgement.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]87101[/ATTACH]

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Why do hunters make the best lovers?

Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once, and they eat what they shoot.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

Why is the space between a women’s breasts and her hips called a waist”?

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

In almost feel bad posting this.

My girlfriend is a dirty little minx.
When I cum in her mouth, she likes to gargle with it then let it dribble out of her mouth.

She may be retarded and unable to speak or move, but I’m sure she is enjoying herself.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting and he was reading the latest issue of Farmer’s Weekly. He looked up from the page and said to her,
“Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?”

She looked at him wistfully, smiled, and replied,
“Oh yes? Prove it.”

He frowned for a moment, then said, “Okay.”
He then got up and walked out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.

About a half an hour later, he returned all tired and sweaty and proclaimed,
“Well I’m sure the cow and sheep didn’t, but the way that pig was squealing, I couldn’t be sure.”

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

A young girl unexpectedly walks in on her parents having sex, Mum on top. After surveying the scene for a moment or two, she asks what they are doing.
“I was just letting some of the air out of Dad because he’s too fat,” said Mum.
The girl replies, “What’s the point? The lady next door is just going to blow him up again tomorrow like she usually does.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at: you’ve been busy angel :biggreen:

Scientists in Southampton claim to have created a wonder drug for period pain.

Personally, I use earplugs.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

OMFG – This is horrible

Two repair men were walking along examining the railway track, chatting casually.
“I had a great shag near here the other day,” said one of them, “a great girl, she had a lovely body and the longest smoothest legs you can imagine. Gagging for it she was. The best sex I’ve had in years!”
“Well,” said the other, she must have been a bit of a dog to go with you. What did she look like? Blonde hair I suppose.”
“Dunno,” said the first, “I couldn’t find her head.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

^^sickeningly twisted hilarity :laugh_at:

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

A couple gets married. Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs…. and he starts to cry. She says,
“What’s the matter?”
He says, “Forty years ago, I couldn’t wait to eat it, and now it looks like it can’t wait to eat me!”

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