Bad Joke Thread

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Daily Mail: “Child rapist who bribed his victim with VIP tickets for a One Direction concert is jailed for 18 years”

Hopefully he will get extra for the rape.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

When a woman says “He used me for sex”.

It really means ‘I only shagged him to get something else out of him, but it failed’.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

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[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

About all this thread’s been good for is amusing me and proving you aren’t even trying, apart from the obvious peeps.

What’s 20 foot long and stinks of piss?

The post office queue on pension day

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

As Dr Bunsen is shy I asked him what the funniest thing he’s ever known and he said it was the time he thought he was being punkd when he got Angels dildo bill.

When he realized he wasn’t being punkd he passed out.

Dw Dr B has no sense of humour and probably doesn’t look in here :rolleyes:

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

At least 126 people, mostly children, have been killed in a Taliban assault in Pakistan.

That’s a lot of weddings cancelled next year then.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I had just made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down when my wife came in, pulled her clothes off and said, “Fuck me right now.” So I fucked her right there on the sofa, having the best sex of my life.

After we’d finished, she lay in my arms and said, “Don’t forget your cup of tea”.

“I’ll just let it cool down, it’s still too hot,” I said

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I feel sorry for my poor wife.

She doesn’t know about my rich wife.

[6 Angel @angel Moderator Staff]

@Tryptameanie 579161 wrote:

I had just made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down when my wife came in, pulled her clothes off and said, “Fuck me right now.” So I fucked her right there on the sofa, having the best sex of my life.

After we’d finished, she lay in my arms and said, “Don’t forget your cup of tea”.

“I’ll just let it cool down, it’s still too hot,” I said

Why do men often think sex should take hours and hours?

a quickie can be the best sex

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I just do what I’m told till the drugs kick in and she passes out.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I noticed a hot girl in a bar that was extremely drunk. After buying her a couple more she stumbled back to my place. Just as we’re about to have sex, she vomits over herself, pisses her knickers and passes out.

“That’s just great!” I thought to myself. “Now I’ve got to have sex with this smell in the room”.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

There is an old saying that goes “Don’t shoot the Messenger.”

I just feel that mankind might have been better off if an exception had been made in the case of the prophet Mohammed.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

What sort of person would go out for the evening leaving a young girl at home alone?

And whereabouts would they live?

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

If I had a pound for every animal I’d molested…

…I’d be much more inclined to molest animals.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I once mistook a glory hole for a peep hole.

Now I’m cockeyed

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