Bad Joke Thread - Party Vibe

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Viewing 15 posts - 646 through 660 (of 999 total)

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January 1, 2015 at 5:12 am

#820186
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
Why is spinach like sodomy ?

Because even with butter, children don’t like it…
January 3, 2015 at 9:35 pm

#820472
1

Sir God

@sir-god

Member
Me and the wife were having a row the other day when, all of a sudden, the strangest thing happened…

Our canoe sank.
January 3, 2015 at 9:36 pm

#820473
1

Sir God

@sir-god

Member
“I’m getting sick of eating airline food all the time.”

Said the Malaysian shark.
January 5, 2015 at 12:40 pm

#820474
1

Sir God

@sir-god

Member
they’ve caught Bin Ladens Scottish relative, bin lorry.
January 6, 2015 at 5:55 pm

#820187
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
Prince Philip has released a statement regarding the Prince Andrew underage hooker scandal:

“Andrew is my son, and I will stand by him no matter what.

As long as he hasn’t done it with any darkies or Chinks.”
January 8, 2015 at 9:47 pm

#820188
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
One of my mates has just been sentenced to 20 years in prison after brutal rape, torture and murder videos were found on his mobile phone.

That’ll teach the bastard to steal my phone.
January 8, 2015 at 10:02 pm

#820189
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
Apparently when I was born I never got a birth certificate.

Instead my parents received a letter of apology from Durex.
January 8, 2015 at 10:20 pm

#820190
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
January 10, 2015 at 12:34 pm

#820191
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
The two Charlie Hebdo gunmen have been killed by French police.

The best thing of all is, now that Jimmy Savile’s had three years in the next life, there won’t be any virgins waiting for them.
January 10, 2015 at 1:12 pm

#820192
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
January 15, 2015 at 5:09 am

#820193
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
Charlie Hebdo increases sales within a week, from sixty thousand to over three million.

Ian Hislop is already composing the next Private Eye cover; “Mohammed: What A Cunt”.
January 16, 2015 at 10:56 pm

#820194
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
I wasn’t concentrating while driving this morning and crashed into a ‘Stop’ sign. I got out of the car to check the damage.

The sign was slightly bent and there was a small scratch on my bumper. Both could be repaired cheaply, so that wasn’t too bad.

It wasn’t all good news, though. I could tell from the kids’ screams that the lollipop man was pretty fucked up.
January 17, 2015 at 3:37 am

#820195
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
Oscar nominations.
Mohammed for Best Picture
January 17, 2015 at 3:38 am

#820196
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
It was a good idea of Mohammed’s to forbid Muslims from drinking alcohol, so they wouldn’t suffer from the same stupidity and violence seen in other cultures.
January 17, 2015 at 10:06 pm

#820197
1

tryptameanie

@tryptameanie

Participant
A wife is a bit like an old television.

It used to look good, but now it’s too big for the room, but you know you can’t afford a newer model so you bang it anyway to keep it going.
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