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      What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?

      Udder destruction.

      this is just a joke people no offense to anybody,humor is humor

      what do black families get their daughtet on her 13th birthday?

      a baby shower

      A boy offers a girl £10 if she’ll climb a flag pole. She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said “honey, he just wanted to see your underwear.” The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said “I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole.” Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother “mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn’t wear any underwear.”

      My son just asked me what gay means.
      “It means to be happy,” I replied.

      “Are you gay, dad?”

      “No, son. I married your mother”

      how do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles

      nail its other hand to the floor

      @stayawayfromafrica 590560 wrote:

      how do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles

      nail its other hand to the floor

      HAHAHHAHA

      @Tryptameanie 590559 wrote:

      My son just asked me what gay means.
      “It means to be happy,” I replied.

      “Are you gay, dad?”

      “No, son. I married your mother”

      nice


        Staff

        It was a blondes first day at the office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.
        Eager to prove her worth to her new bosses, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to the nearby coffee shop.
        She held up the thermos so that the counterman could view it, and she asked, “Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?”
        The counterman looked at the thermos and replied, “Yes. It looks like about six cups to me.”
        “Oh good!” the blonde sighed in relief. “Give me three regular, one black, and two decaf.”


          Staff

          A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night.

          “I’ll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he’s making love,” says the carpenter.

          “I’ll hot wire his mattress so they’ll feel immense heat while making love,” says the electrician.

          “Those are good ideas,” says the dentist. “But my contribution’s going to be a real surprise.”

          The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. ‘

          He says “I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I’m gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!”


            Staff

            Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack.

            “How did that happen?” asks the first guy.

            “Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn’t find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot.”

            “Geez,” says the first guy. “If you’d opened the fridge, we’d both be alive right now.”

            how does a women scare her gyneocologist

            by becoming a ventriloquist


              Staff

              Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?

              He didn’t need them any longer — his damn wife knows everything.


                Staff

                Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives.

                Sue said, “Mine’s OK. We get it on every week, but it’s no big adventure. How’s yours?”

                Sally replied, “It’s great ever since we got into S&M.”

                Sue was surprised. “Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you’d go for that.”

                “Oh, sure,” says Sally, “He snores while I masturbate.”


                  Staff

                  Q: Why do brides smile while they walk down the wedding aisle?

                  A: They realize they’ve given their last blow jobs.

                  i called the rape advice hotline today

                  unfortunatly its only for the victims

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                Forums The Vibe Jokes & Comedy Bad Joke Thread