Party Vibe

Register

Welcome To

Bad Joke Thread

Forums The Vibe Jokes & Comedy Bad Joke Thread

  • This topic is empty.
Viewing 15 posts - 751 through 765 (of 999 total)
  • Author
    Posts

    • Staff

      A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he’s looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter.

      She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?”

      “You see, it’s like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she.”

      Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
      He asks the other guy if he has a lighter
      He replies “Yes I do!” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
      Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?”
      The guy replies “Oh I have a personal genie.”
      The first man asks “Can I make a wish? “
      Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing”
      “Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants
      The man says ” I want a Million Bucks “
      The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head
      And the guy says to the other ” Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?”
      The other man replies “I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC”

      Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your pussy say “stop”? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “don’t stop”


        Staff

        As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.
        She turns over and says, “I’m sorry, honey. I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh.”
        The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. He asks, “Do you have a dentist appointment, too?”

        :biggreen:

        ^^^^^:lol_big:

        Marry someone who wears glasses, that way when you get bored of them you can take off their glasses and pretend you’re fucking someone else.

        Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

        What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding… He still hasn’t unwrapped his presents

        Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It’s their kids who cause all the trouble.

        How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don’t be stupid, feminists can’t change anything.

        What’s brown and sticky?

        A stick

        What does a woman with a black eye say?

        Nothing, she has already been told

        (Aw fuck I’m kidding …… Seriously!)

        its not rape if the musics too loud to hear her say no

        What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

        – The guardians of the galaxy!

        ohhh quit it, i already knew i’m bad at jokes -_-

        So the World Cup has been confirmed in Qatar.

        What next, Come Dine With Me in Ethiopia and Mastermind in America?

        My wife walked in as I was giving my dog a blow job.

        She said, “That’s disgusting, what do you have to say for yourself?”

        I just sat there and said nothing.

        She said, “The cat got your tongue?”

        I said, “Sometimes”.

        My twin sons Craig and Stuart are going to America to audition on the X factor when it starts over there.

        “Hi, i’m Craig Towers, and i’m Stuart Towers… and together we’re Twin Towers”

        I’ve got a feeling they’ll go down well.

        A guy finds his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor’s house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?” The guy stammers and says, “Um… no… what happened?” The neighbor replies, “We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!”

      0

      Voices

      996

      Replies

      Tags

      This topic has no tags

      Viewing 15 posts - 751 through 765 (of 999 total)
      • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

      Forums The Vibe Jokes & Comedy Bad Joke Thread