Bad Joke Thread

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

My penis is a lot like my toaster.

It won’t pop up if the crumpet is too fat

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

A Muslim walked into my Adult Learning Centre this morning.

“Hello there.” I said to him. “You need help with your reading, don’t you?”

“Yes, yes I do.” He said. “How could you tell?”

“Because the sign on the door says No Pakis.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

What’s the difference between a 36-year-old’s face and an underage child?

The BBC will sack you for putting your fist in a 36-year-old’s face.

[1 RaD @rad Member]

:oh_god:

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

HAHAHAHAHA

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Apparently, black students in South Africa have pelted Cecil John Rhodes’s statue with their own faeces recently because back in 1896, he called Africans ‘Sub human’

Yeah, that’ll teach the bastard just how wrong he was.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I had been seeing this girl for a while and she asked how many sexual partners I’d had.

“I’ve been very unlucky,” I said. “Only four.”

“Four?” she replied. “That’s not unlucky.”

“It is when they were Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter and Fred Talbot,” I answered.

[6 General Lighting @general-lighting Moderator Staff]

A Calvinist preacher was lecturing Scots people on the evils of alcohol.

He poured out two glasses of whisky and vodka and put a worm in each; both worms were dead within seconds.

he then said to the crowd “Now, what can we learn from that?”

Jock piped up: “och well, if ye have a guid drink every day; no matter what ye eat, ye’ll no have trouble wi’ getting worums”.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

:lol_big: Been good having you in such a jovial mood recently GL 🙂

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Apparently smoking reduces your sperm count.

Well thank fuck for that or every cunt on our Council estate would have 20 kids instead of 10.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Fleas can jump up to twenty times their own height.

When I tried to put my cock in my wife’s arse, I found out she could as well.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

What’s six foot tall and goes beep beep beep beep beep beep beep?

A black man leaving Currys.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

What’s blue and dpesn’t fit?

A dead epileptic.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

The orphanage I run burned down today with the lives of sixty children lost.

Thank fuck I don’t have to tell their parents.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

What should you do if your little girl starts smoking?

Slow down and use a lubricant.

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