Forums › The Vibe › Jokes & Comedy › Bad Joke Thread
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.
A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet £20,000 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed.. “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”
The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”
MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
Got off with this Thai bird last night. She had an 8 inch clitoris…
“I know we’ve been married forty years now, but tonight I’d like you to pretend to be a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl.”
“Ewww, you’re disgusting! Get the fuck away from me, you filthy pervert!”
“That’s the spirit, love!”
Three South Africans, a black and two whites, are in jail, discussing what they’re in for.
The first white South African is asked what he’s in for, to which he replied “Robbery, and I got two years. The judge said it was lucky it wasn’t armed robbery, or I’d have got five years.”
The second white South African is asked next, to which he replied “Sexual assault, and I got 7 years. The judge said it was lucky it wasn’t rape, or I’d have got ten years.”
The black South African is finally asked, to which he replied “Riding my bike without a light, and I got life. The judge said it was lucky it wasn’t dark, or I’d be facing a firing squad!”
When I first discovered masturbation at Catholic school, I was terrified – I thought I was broken.
I couldn’t understand why jizz was coming out of my cock instead of my arsehole like it normally did.
The first rule of Paedo Club is, when in public always refer to it as the Catholic Church.
What does this country have in common with my wife’s fanny?
Labour has ruined both of them.
After weeks of online chatting, I arranged to meet Clare, the undercover police woman.
Imagine my shock when she turned out to be a nine-year-old boy.
The fact someone posted in here has got me shaking in disbelief :laugh_at:
Welcome to the forum bud and if you aren’t laughing you may wanna leave now 😉
You’re entertaining at least two people here. One of them is yourself. Don’t know where you got the stamina to post so much into the off. 😀
I love to laugh bud lol.
Some I make up, some I hear.
Immigrants trying to get to England said the conditions in Calais were horrific – smelly and disgusting.
“You’d think the French would at least shower occasionally,” said Abdellahi from Ethiopia.
What’s the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School?
I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
A passing tramp stops and says, “Since you’re about to kill yourself, if you don’t mind, could we have sex please?”
The woman says, “No, fuck off.”
The tramp turns to leave and replies, “Fine, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom.
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Forums › The Vibe › Jokes & Comedy › Bad Joke Thread