Bad Joke Thread

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

The EU has lifted a ban on misshapen vegetables.

Thank fuck – I can finally let my mongoloid son out of the cellar.

[1 Digital Buddha @digital-buddha Participant]

@slimshifty217 971323 wrote:

what do u call a game of basketball between mexicans? juan on juan

little johnny’s class rule was if u could answer a question from the day’s lesson, u could go home early. well little johnny wasn’t so good with his lessons this year and never got to go home. one day the teacher asked, ‘who was president during pearl harbor?’ little johnny’s classmate, sally, was the smartest kid in class so she responded, ‘TEDDY ROOSEVELT!’ and was immediately excused. next day the teacher said, ‘ok, what is 2+6-3×4?’ sally jumped and said, ‘-4!’ and again she left early. the next day little johnny got upset and knew he had to beat sally. so at the end of class, the teacher was erasing the board when little johnny threw a pencil that hit her in the head. the teacher jerked around angrily and said, ‘who did that?!’ little johnny said, ‘ME! can i go home now?’

a mexican and a black guy get into a fight. who wins? we all do.

dude FDR not teddy was the prez during WWII

[1 Garoldeep Singh @garoldeep-singh Member]

A bad joke that springs to mind is david ca-moron’s U turn on working tax credits for the low income families in this hell hole nation (the uk). The worthless inbred actually said he was ‘PROUD’ to cut them, all in the face of claiming that he wouldn’t……cunt should be hung, drawn and quartered….then burnt.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Religion can provide the answers to all of life’s questions.

Who created us? What happens when we die? What excuse can I use to blow up those cunts over there?

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Male Comedian: A man who stands on stage and says funny things.

Female Comedian: A woman who stands on stage and tells us funny things her husband has said.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Oscar Pistorius is to spend the next four years living at his uncle’s house.

I bet his uncle’s shitting himself.

Because it’s safer than going to the toilet.

[1 slimshifty217 @slimshifty217 Participant]

@Digital Buddha 972797 wrote:

dude FDR not teddy was the prez during WWII

tomato, tomoto. FDR, TR. to eat or not to eat…i don’t care. it was the only roosevelt i could think of at the time. thanks for letting me know about that though – i mean, i knew it was one of the roosevelts but thanks for reminding me. 😉

[1 slimshifty217 @slimshifty217 Participant]

@tryptameanie 972872 wrote:

Male Comedian: A man who stands on stage and says funny things.

Female Comedian: A woman who stands on stage and tells us funny things her husband has said.

hahaha niiiice. have you seen amy schumer do stand up? she’s pretty fucking funny.

[1 slimshifty217 @slimshifty217 Participant]

@tryptameanie 972871 wrote:

Religion can provide the answers to all of life’s questions.

Who created us? What happens when we die? What excuse can I use to blow up those cunts over there?

couldn’t have said it better.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Michael Jackson, the Pope and a bunch of kids are on a plane. Suddenly the plane becomes out of control and is on course to crash.

“Here, there are 2 parachutes.” said the Pope.

“What about the kids?” replied Jacko.

“Fuck the kids.” said the Pope.

To this, Jacko said, “We haven’t got enough time.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

My daughter came running in and said, “Daddy, I’ve just seen two fairies at the bottom of the garden.”

Humouring her I said, “Really, what were they doing?”

She said, “Sucking each other’s cocks.”

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

People used to believe in multiple Gods.

Now they believe in one God.

They’re getting closer to the actual number all the time.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Latest study shows that half of the men in the UK have contemplated suicide…the other half are single

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I got stopped by a copper with a radar gun the other day.
“Bit of a speed merchant are we, sir?” he asked.
“A bit, now and then,” I replied, “but I only sell to friends.”

So as well as three points I’m looking at three months.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I had a terrible youth.

My dad was a paedophile and my mum died when she was twelve.

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