Bad Joke Thread

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

“Miss! Miss! Miss!” I shouted excitedly from the back of the classroom.

This was turning into the worst school shooting ever.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I can honestly say I’m not harbouring any resentment towards my wife, even though she insisted I join her at a vegan convention, this afternoon.

I finally got to truly understand what the word vegan really means…

White middle class, self-righteous, fussy cunt.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

My teenage son has just told me that he fucked a girl last night.

I said “Well done son, get in…. I hope you used something?”

He said “Yeah, a balaclava”.

That’s my boy…..

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Has anybody else on here got ADHD?

I don’t see what all the fuss is about?! The picture isn’t much better than my old TV.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

“Dad, on my way home from school I saw Santa beating a Pakistani man up outside a shop.”

“Well, son, I don’t know what to say to you. I’m shocked.”

“So am I, dad. I only posted the letter yesterday.”

[1 frogmyster @frogmyster Member]

Jimmy Carr is mad.. i remember he said if god had not of wanted us to fuck children, why did he make them so fuckin sexy.. bit over the top i think with that one ,, suppose i said once whats baby matty Eappen and lady Diana Spener got in common? they where both found dead sucking dodies

[1 kevinkrieger @kevinkrieger Member]

Bahut Kuch Ditta Eh Rabba Tu Mainu, Bass Ik Meharbani Hor Karde
Ja Tah Milaade Mainu Yaar Mere Naal, Nhi Tah Botal Whisky Di Mere Moohre Dharde

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

How do you kill a redneck?

Wait till he’s fucking his sister, then cut the brakes on his house.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom. I sprinkled some more over the bed. I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table. I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening ever. I was quite nervous…

Now all I needed was the perfect way to introduce myself.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

A SAS sniper has killed 5 terrorists with just 3 bullets.

Fancy that, a Jew in the SAS.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

“That’s John, that’s Dave and that’s Danny. They were all shot and killed. They went far too young”.

To civilized people, that’s your grandad telling you about the war.

To Americans, it’s your dad showing you his class photo.

[1 Garoldeep Singh @garoldeep-singh Member]

“Is it a boy or a girl?”, asks a mother who’s just given birth.

“What the fuck does it matter, its not a shiney….” said the doctor as he released it in to the wild.

Pokemon, ruining lives since ’96.

[1 Love Heart Heart @love-heart-heart Member]

I am a bad joke, I was tryin to post images of whom I’ve been compared to in the past. I think by the avatar that’s pretty obvious. I hope to make friends with more males.

Gingerkins. xx

:imgay: :big-joint:

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

Hey don’t be so hard on yourself and welcome to the forum :).

[1 smokemary @smokemary Participant]

I learnt the other day that the term halve cast isn’t the correct term, you have to say mixed race.

I thought mixed race was a triathlon

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