Party Vibe

Register

Welcome To

Bad Joke Thread

Forums The Vibe Jokes & Comedy Bad Joke Thread

  • This topic is empty.
Viewing 15 posts - 946 through 960 (of 999 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • @smokemary 976763 wrote:

    I learnt the other day that the term halve cast isn’t the correct term, you have to say mixed race.

    I thought mixed race was a triathlon

    well for some folk who are of brown skin in Europe they still have to run from the Police / ride a bicycle at speed away from the border controls and/or swim to get into some countries :laugh_at:


    young Hamish was sent home from school for bad behaviour and had to explain why to his Dad.

    “Dad, the teacher sent me hame as the laddie next tae me was smokin'”.

    Dad: “Oh aye, so why did they send ye hame an no’ him?”

    Hamish : “och, because it was me who set him alight…..”

    @smokemary 976763 wrote:

    I learnt the other day that the term halve cast isn’t the correct term, you have to say mixed race.

    I thought mixed race was a triathlon

    It’s “half”-cast Terrorist, didn’t they teach English or just bomb-making and how to look good in a balaclava?

    @General Lighting 976773 wrote:

    well for some folk who are of brown skin in Europe they still have to run from the Police / ride a bicycle at speed away from the border controls and/or swim to get into some countries :laugh_at:


    young Hamish was sent home from school for bad behaviour and had to explain why to his Dad.

    “Dad, the teacher sent me hame as the laddie next tae me was smokin'”.

    Dad: “Oh aye, so why did they send ye hame an no’ him?”

    Hamish : “och, because it was me who set him alight…..”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA, my god GL, where did you get a joke?

    @tryptameanie 976791 wrote:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA, my god GL, where did you get a joke?

    from Scotland, as they are cheaper there :laugh_at:

    TBH probably inherited my sense of humour from Dad and the Scottish Jesuit priests who taught him (they aren’t as harsh as folk think; although they managed to convince all their pupils (bear in mind the Empire had just fallen and they feared being all put back on the boat to Aberdeen etc) it was -10 Celsius all year round in Scotland and if it wasn’t snowing it rained constantly.

    This is actually why there are comparatively few Malaysians / Singaporeans / South Chinese of some generations in the North of Britain and Scotland compared to Japanese, Vietnamese and Koreans and those from Pakistan, Northern India and Bangladesh who are more used to Weather).

    Hasn’t the price of Scottish jokes gone up since they brought in the minimum unit pricing for alcohol?

    @tryptameanie 976797 wrote:

    Hasn’t the price of Scottish jokes gone up since they brought in the minimum unit pricing for alcohol?

    its offset by the Euro exchange rate (BTW does anyone else think the new lass in charge there looks like Angela Merkel’s younger sister?)

    —-
    A Protestant preacher was stood in the street ranting against the evils of alcohol. He set two glasses on a table and poured water into one and whisky into the other; and then dropped a live worm into each one.

    In a few seconds the worm in the whisky glass was deid.

    The preacher shouted : “and what does this teach ye all aboot alcohol?”

    Angus from the audience replied : “if ye drink a glass o’ guid whisky every day ye wilnae get ill from worums.”

    @tryptameanie 976790 wrote:

    It’s “half”-cast Terrorist, didn’t they teach English or just bomb-making and how to look good in a balaclava?[/QUOTE

    Emm yea, I blame the drugs lol

    And do you how hard it is to look good with a balaclava? It’s as hard as trying to pull sexy off with a full burka

    Fuck knows. Don’t even know why you bother with balaclavas cos as soon as you open your mouthsn us English immediately facepalm and think OMG it’s a fucking paddy buffoon.

    Haha you ever actually listen to the state of some English accents, I’m not even counting the Wales here! Like Liverpool! The fuck is that? Sounds like rats on helium lol and here least as terrorism goes we didn’t do to bad, least after an act of it we could go home to our beaten wives

    Say what paddy? what the fuck are you talking about? the Walesd? Like Liverpool? Firstly Wales is a totally fucking different country to England and second Livepool is almost as bad as Ireland apart from instead of terrorists they have greasy thieves.

    During an exercise to dredge a lake in Rednecksville, Mississippi, workmen recovered skeletal human remains wrapped in over 100lbs of heavy chain. After some investigation, dog-tags helped to identify the remains as those of Samuel Morgan, a local leading black civil rights activist who mysteriously disappeared in 1962.

    Called to make a statement for the press, Sheriff Wilbur T Poltroon announced:
    “Well, folks, it seems what we have here is an open and shut case: another ole nigger done stole more scrap iron than he could swim with!”


      Staff

      A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

      “To My Dear Wife,

      You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

      Please don’t be upset -I shall be home before midnight.”

      When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

      “My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis Coach. He is young, virile and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

      As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

      Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.”

      HAHAHAHAHAHA.

      Whats red and shit?

      Manchester United.

      What;s pink and goes pop?

      A baby in a microwave.

      What’s black and white and red all over?

      A nun in a blender.

    0

    Voices

    996

    Replies

    Tags

    This topic has no tags

    Viewing 15 posts - 946 through 960 (of 999 total)
    • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

    Forums The Vibe Jokes & Comedy Bad Joke Thread