Party Vibe

Another good one, my fave actually (very darn close to what I went thru minus the whoring for drugs) is Acts of Worship.

Readin this kinda thing makes me think a lot about shit. Iv never been into smack in ma life and always pretty much disliked people that i knew who went that route. I did however always take pity on older folk that ma older brother knew that are fucked on it, or even decent folks ma old man knows, basically decent fuckers wrecked on smack. Peolem that got into it at a time hen they didnt knoe better. Iv always despised dealers witha passion, so mcuh so that me n ma mates from 16 up til now at 22 have battled with the guy who sells it oppossite ma window. I open my window an there it is the face of decay, the grey horrible fucker of a house symbolisin the grey bastard skin of the dealer ogre himself.

Now, after an outdoor party in Fife, where i stay, in june, i sampled that shitey fuckin junk and brought a new all time low on ma already battered ego. WHat the FUCK possessed me to do it when i was flyin on mdma still with a half Q between me n sum friends left and lots of sulph?

Iv lost track of wht i want to say/ask coz im getin wound up about tryin it and fightin the feelin to smash the fuckers that gave me its door in the now n stave his sly little face wi a bat. I don it for four days ina row wi a girl that i thot was cool at the time, quite interstin. Then stopped no problem, didnt see the big fuss in it maybe shite gear, maybe i just thot it was gash. But then 2 weeks ago after bein to see sum good techno in edinburgh – oorlando voorn. I done it again, always when iv been flyin or still am flyin iv done it. But the thing is i dont know if the bastard bird i was wi fuckd me or not when i was wiped out, she took ma bank card also when i was ko’d and stole 70 pound. Now ma mates know, lost a lot of respect for me. They reckon im gonna be a junkie coz i have quite an addictive persona.

One more thing im quite sure we shot speed, in fact i know we did. Im so fuckin freakd out about infections especially since folk have been puttin seeds in ma fragile head. Whats the best advice on this shit. Howd i go about gettin tested?

Sorry if i came over as a cunt im just boilin the now and not very clear on gettin points across.

HA how fucked up that i should be listenin to a andreas tillander remix of DJ shadows infected!!

grats .. still clean i hope:group_hug

Thank you e babes for sharing what you have shared it was very insightful. And I wish you the best of luck in your new life.:bounce_fl:group_hug

Hey ebabes
Read your diary reminds me of when i was in prison coming off 120 mls of methadone with no meds. i couldnt sleep for 6 weeks not fun.

yep im an ex addict, I also worked in 2 residential rehabs and a qualified counsellor.
If you ever feel like picking up go back and read ur diary certainly reminded me of the shit times.

Good luck dude and stay strong

I also congratulate you on your new found freedom from heroin addiction I am currently still on methadone but am finding life quite easy not using needles to get high any more which in it’s own little way a step in the right direction.

I to would like to hear the next part of your story it would make for a very good read 🙂

@miller.jhon17 437722 wrote:

I am also a victim of drugs (alcohol) and looking for treatment.

Well firstly I would change your perspective, your not a victim you made a choice. Victim mentalities will get you no-where. See a doctor and get some advice, you cannot just suddenly stop drinking alcohol (depending on how much you drink).