Back again.
Yet another ‘friend’ has proven himself to be a selfish deceitful wanker. I’m literally down to my last friend now and the way things have been going I’m tempted to fuck him off before he does me.
What’s happened is a long time ago I foolishly allowed this person to borrow one of my PS3 games, brand new, still in the cellophane, I hadn’t even played it myself yet. I asked for it back a few weeks ago. His response was ‘I think my brother took it with him when he moved out’, he seemed to believe this was an adequate reason for not returning my game, so I became a little more assertive. He reacted to this by discarding any responsibility for my game saying it was down to me to contact his brother and have it returned. That was annoying enough. What has really tipped me over the edge though is the fact the thick twat has lent a rucksack to my brother to take on holiday. My brother was putting his stuff in it when he found a receipt stating that the game I’d lent this said friend had been sold to cash converters for the value of £6.
He doesn’t know I know this so tries to act all friendly still and gets arsey when I tell him I can’t be bothered seeing him.
I think I’ve now given up on society. What the fuck is the point in making friends if all they’re going to do is systematically fuck me over. In every situation I try my best to be pleasant and sincere and time after time I’m shit on! While all the cunts appear to get by quite happily, achieving what they want by using shitty tactics to fuck people like me over. What’s the point?! Why the fuck would I want to be a part of that society!
I feel as if I don’t belong and I’m sick of banging my head against a brick wall; literally my face all swollen because if I don’t take my anger out on myself I will end up carrying out one of my many violent fantasies that haunt me on a daily basis.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? The only thing stopping me from killing myself is the pain I know that would cause my girlfriend. I’ve reached the point where I no longer see prison as a punishment, in fact it sounds like a cushty ride compared to the bullshit that is life. I see little reason why I shouldn’t exercise one or more of my horrible thoughts.
