Crisis Thread

[1 know_hope @know_hope Member]

@The Psyentist 556651 wrote:

Seriously depressed again, thought I was getting better but as I’ve spent most of the last 24 hours self harming obviously not. I fucking hate my life, the people around me and the world we live in!

you can always come and chat instead of self harming, or for breaks between self harming (jk), whatever helps… especially as we are friends of life not just tinternet. im on quite a lot atm x

[1 Raj @raj Member]

Psyientist – I have skimmed through this thread having been drawn in by the title.
Dont know if what follows will help but I will give it a shot.

I have been handling my depression on and off for over 20 years – some days are crap and I am angry at everything or just sit and cry – some days are great and I just smile all day.

I have been close to suicide a few times – never did it because I was involved in dealing with the fall out which ensued when a good friend of mine killed himself. His family was devastated and I could not do this to people around me. Particularly sad was his poor bewildered dog which could not understand where he had gone. When I get like this I tend to reach out for a friend to listen to me and give me an outside perspective – it helps hugely to air those thoughts that lead me to think of suicide. I am very fortunate in my friends ( the group has changed over the years – very few left from 15 years ago – only 2 from any further back than that) as they are always there for the asking.

This is not to say I have had great relationships with everyone – some of them have been real assholes and been treated accordingly. Not everyone can handle this stuff – if you dont have anyone for this I can strongly recommend getting in touch with the samaritans who are great listeners and sometimes its better to tell a stranger and not lay any more stress around your nearest and dearest.

Things which help me are talking to someone I trust, playing happy music very loudly (hence my long relationship with my decks), going for a walk or run, making a list of the good things in my life (on a piece of paper) and then going out and adding something new to them. Oh and cleaning the house – my state of mind is always improved by having a clean kitchen and toilet :crazy_fre

The anger management side of my life – running, gardening, music again (but this time the rage against the machine and NIN variety) and more recently taekwondo – there is something great about kicking pads to improve my kicks – I always feel brand new when I come out of the gym and on a bad day I request a shot of the punchbag for 10 minutes and let it all out. I have gotten to a yellow belt so far and the mission is black belt

In depression I have discovered that what really helps me is to deal with tasks in small bite sized chunks rather than feeling like a mouse trying to wash an elephant – wash the elephant one square centimeter at a time 😉 and hanging out with my dogs who are always excellent when I feel shite about life. They always will look excited to see me no matter how crap I feel I am at the time and are keen to spend time with me under any conditions (one will even try to climb into my bath if I am not careful!)

Dont give up on yourself and, if you hear those negative little recordings we pick up along the way, try giving them the donald duck treatment – they dont sound nearly as convincing when they are high pitched and squeaky :laugh_at: And remember that a lot of the time the people who said shit things to you are either repeating what was said to them as a kid or just playing an endless game of one-up-man-ship (putting others down to try and feel better about themselves cos they feel crap inside too) Often the stuff people to say to others is just projecting their problems onto others – far eaiser to pickon someone else than deal with your own problems.

you have something unique to contribute to the world and its up to you to find out what that is and then go and do it raaaraaaraaaraaa

[1 cheeseweasel @cheeseweasel Participant]

@Raj 559889 wrote:

Psyientist – I have skimmed through this thread having been drawn in by the title.
Dont know if what follows will help but I will give it a shot.

I have been handling my depression on and off for over 20 years…

I can’t ‘like’ this post enough, and the suggestion to call the Samaritans is a good one. They provide a great, and completely anonymous (to the point that they have problems with IRA delivering bomb threats via their phone system) emotional support service to those in need of it. What they won’t do is offer any advice or opinion (which most callers are thankful for, as they tend to get enough of that from their parents/friends/colleagues already); they will sit and listen with a non-judgemental ear to anything you just want to get off your chest and encourage you to explore your feelings.

[1 slimshifty217 @slimshifty217 Participant]

@The Psyentist 917889 wrote:

Hey Vibers.

I’m starting this thread cos at the moment I’m havin a real tough time with my fluctuating mental health. I don’t necessarily expect any useful advice in return I simply want to unload. It all started when I was an infant, my biological father left when I was very young and was replaced to put it politely by an utter cunt of a step dad. He soon had a child with my mum meaning I had a brother 5 years younger than me. My stepfather soon made it apparent I wasn’t welcome in his ideal family as I wasn’t his blood. For about a decade I put up with him telling me I was useless and a waste of space, as a kid you don’t resist and it slowly sank in even though I didn’t want to believe it. He was calculated and only ever subjected me to this psychological abuse when my mother wasn’t around and when I tried telling her how bad I felt her response was you’re a hormonal teen it will pass. When I was 15 I snapped one day and punched him busting his nose, the abuse stopped but the damage was done. Ever since I’ve suffered periods of extreme depression and have attempted suicide once though many years ago. Also when alone I suffer fits of rage (obviously my undealt with issues manifesting). It’s like a switch in my brain flicks without any or the smallest of triggers and I trash the house. Some of you will have already seen a couple of posts regarding this but lately is becoming more intense and frequent. I’m pretty scared that at some point I’m just going to snap and if not hurt myself hurt someone else. It feels as though a lot of my sadness is turning to anger. I am already seeing a psychiatrist btw. But what do peeps think? And sorry for the morbid post.

We come from different walks of life but to be honest with you, I feel the same feelings you do. I did not have any childhood trauma, I was never touched inappropriately, nothing like that. My dad’s side of the family has some serious mental health problems and my half uncle has bipolar disorder and now I have it. I have bipolar, OCD, anxiety issues, ADHD. The list continues…a lot of psychiatrists are diagnosis-happy. I have had anxiety issues since I was in pre K and been on anti depressants to help with the OCD and anxiety when I was about 6. I’ve been on and off medication for this my entire life and I even took a 3 week vacation to the local asylum. It was scary shit in there.

I have fits of rage occasionally but they are few and far between. I am taking medication for bipolar depression since the mania does not tend to affect me as badly as the depression does. I have attempted suicide more than a few times and ended up in the hospital more than a few times as well. The last time I did it was about 8 years ago and I woke up in the ICU with a breathing tube down my throat. Doctors said if my parents hadn’t found me, I would’ve died about 10 minutes later. I don’t really remember anything about that night to be honest. I sometimes think I might hurt myself or someone else and I have envisioned myself beating the shit out of coworkers for being idiots or saying stupid shit but I have never acted out on it. I also suffer from Aspergers; if you don’t know what that is, it’s a social syndrome that places on the Autism spectrum. I’m not mentally slow or held back or anything. People with Aspergers are very intelligent with genius level IQs but we cannot socialize because we don’t understand basic social skills. We may laugh at funerals or crack jokes about terrible things. On the other hand we may cry when good things happen and not out of sheer happiness either.

These social stigmas make it hard to live day to day with others who do not have these problems but just understand you’re not alone. There are more of us out there than you know. Everyone has been depressed at some point in their life and some need medication to help them through it. Bipolar depression is not the same as unipolar depression though – it’s a lot more severe and harder to treat because of the risk of manic episodes occurring while on medication. I have been on tons of antispychotics before and they all SUCK but when I stopped taking them 2 years ago, within 6 months I was behaving like a mad person. I had to go back on them to keep me from going insane. It’s terrible but I just have to take it day by day. I’m here for you.

[1 Iliesse @iliesse Participant Subscriber]

@slimshifty217 976612 wrote:

We come from different walks of life but to be honest with you, I feel the same feelings you do. I did not have any childhood trauma, I was never touched inappropriately, nothing like that. My dad’s side of the family has some serious mental health problems and my half uncle has bipolar disorder and now I have it. I have bipolar, OCD, anxiety issues, ADHD. The list continues…a lot of psychiatrists are diagnosis-happy. I have had anxiety issues since I was in pre K and been on anti depressants to help with the OCD and anxiety when I was about 6. I’ve been on and off medication for this my entire life and I even took a 3 week vacation to the local asylum. It was scary shit in there.

I have fits of rage occasionally but they are few and far between. I am taking medication for bipolar depression since the mania does not tend to affect me as badly as the depression does. I have attempted suicide more than a few times and ended up in the hospital more than a few times as well. The last time I did it was about 8 years ago and I woke up in the ICU with a breathing tube down my throat. Doctors said if my parents hadn’t found me, I would’ve died about 10 minutes later. I don’t really remember anything about that night to be honest. I sometimes think I might hurt myself or someone else and I have envisioned myself beating the shit out of coworkers for being idiots or saying stupid shit but I have never acted out on it. I also suffer from Aspergers; if you don’t know what that is, it’s a social syndrome that places on the Autism spectrum. I’m not mentally slow or held back or anything. People with Aspergers are very intelligent with genius level IQs but we cannot socialize because we don’t understand basic social skills. We may laugh at funerals or crack jokes about terrible things. On the other hand we may cry when good things happen and not out of sheer happiness either.

These social stigmas make it hard to live day to day with others who do not have these problems but just understand you’re not alone. There are more of us out there than you know. Everyone has been depressed at some point in their life and some need medication to help them through it. Bipolar depression is not the same as unipolar depression though – it’s a lot more severe and harder to treat because of the risk of manic episodes occurring while on medication. I have been on tons of antispychotics before and they all SUCK but when I stopped taking them 2 years ago, within 6 months I was behaving like a mad person. I had to go back on them to keep me from going insane. It’s terrible but I just have to take it day by day. I’m here for you.

R
WHAT IS ASPEGERS?

[1 Digital Buddha @digital-buddha Participant]

@iliesse 976615 wrote:

R
WHAT IS ASPEGERS?

A form of autism.

[1 tryptameanie @tryptameanie Participant]

You sure it isn’tthis?

[ATTACH=CONFIG]154785[/ATTACH]

[1 Digital Buddha @digital-buddha Participant]

@tryptameanie 976621 wrote:

You sure it isn’tthis?

[ATTACH=CONFIG]154785[/ATTACH]

LOL’ed

[6 General Lighting @general-lighting Moderator Staff]

@cheeseweasel 958280 wrote:

I can’t ‘like’ this post enough, and the suggestion to call the Samaritans is a good one. They provide a great, and completely anonymous (to the point that they have problems with IRA delivering bomb threats via their phone system)

TBH any 21st century “terrorist” using an old style telephone for this this is more than likely to be quietly referred to “Help the Aged” for support with this mental health due to ageing :laugh_at:

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