Crisis Thread

[1 The Psyentist @the-psyentist Member]

Sorry to be back on the whinge again but any suggestions as to what I should do when I feel the stress of me and my partner is repelling us from each other. As you know I’ve my own problems and about a year ago I was having a similar stresses brought onthrough the charitable (actually just money grabbing dog eat dog cunt of an organization) I worked for at the time. The managers were fascist wankers and you did it their way or suffered the wrath. I was one of few who stood up and refused to follow orders for the sake of satisfying their appetite for power. I won’t go into detail but this wasn’t me having an issue with authority, this was them illegally inventing company policies as a means of controlling us. As a result of my ‘insolence’ I was disciplined and used a scapegoat to scare everyone else back into doin as ththey were told. The stress of this caused the onset symptoms of my psoriasis to set in so I gave them the finger and left. The problem lies with my girlfriend who still works with them but is in a similar scenario. I have a lot of anger contained atm due to how they initially treat me despite 6 years of loyal service but also how they’re treating my girlfriend. I just feel so infuriated that nearly 18month after I left that bullshit behind they’re still creating such high levels of stress for me, to the point where I have strongly considered arson or some form of criminal damage to the house of my old manager. I feel as though we’re are unable to support each other right now and although I love her would single life be better? Our relationship probably being the only thing right now stopping me going off the wall on this one. I don’t really give a shit about myself and I’m scared if we split I’ll loose it.

[1 MC G-Tek @mc-g-tek Member]

Dude, name and shame the company, and also give a detailed account of their policies. Sending said policies to an employment law specialist would also be a good way to go, see what they make of it and you may even be able to get some form of compensation claim going against them – and if they’re a charitable organisation, they’re gonna hate the bad publicity all this would create for them. All of this would be far more damaging to them and would mean you wouldn’t have to break the law in order to get some measure of revenge.

As regards your relationship, if that’s the only thing keeping you sane at the moment, then probably best not to call it a day. Work round the problems that seem to all stem from this arsehole company, don’t let them wreck what is obviously a very positive thing in your life.

Chin up mate, we’re all here if you need a chat.

[6 General Lighting @general-lighting Moderator Staff]

this always seems to happen with charities / voluntary organisations, there are always similar articles in the Guardian. they are worse than “normal corporate” businesses. although thankfully not dependent on income from them as a paid employee i’ve had to very recently help some folk out what caught the sharp end of this myself, and put in a lot of volunteer time (hence why I haven’t been on here as much recently).

If it is or was your main income I think you should seek legal advice and fight back. Bad publicity / exposing bad news works very well as a tactic as it can cost them donations – TBH I do not contribute to any charity or volunteer organisation until I have done a full security audit on everyone involved – it stops me devoting resources to scum but I still help out good organisations.

[1 The Psyentist @the-psyentist Member]

@MC G-Tek 502505 wrote:

Dude, name and shame the company, and also give a detailed account of their policies. Sending said policies to an employment law specialist would also be a good way to go, see what they make of it and you may even be able to get some form of compensation claim going against them – and if they’re a charitable organisation, they’re gonna hate the bad publicity all this would create for them. All of this would be far more damaging to them and would mean you wouldn’t have to break the law in order to get some measure of revenge.

As regards your relationship, if that’s the only thing keeping you sane at the moment, then probably best not to call it a day. Work round the problems that seem to all stem from this arsehole company, don’t let them wreck what is obviously a very positive thing in your life.

Chin up mate, we’re all here if you need a chat.

Unfortunately I missed my opportunity, the grievance period in which you can report a company for such atrocities is 8 months. Or so a legal advisor told me. My girlfriend is doing her best to expose them but they always seem to be one fabricated step ahead of us. Appears they bribed/convinced the remaining staff team nothing was or is wrong so we have no alibi and it’s 2 peeps against an entire company. They just make lies up left right and centre to cover there tracks.

[6 General Lighting @general-lighting Moderator Staff]

@The Psyientist 502509 wrote:

Unfortunately I missed my opportunity, the grievance period in which you can report a company for such atrocities is 8 months. Or so a legal advisor told me. My girlfriend is doing her best to expose them but they always seem to be one fabricated step ahead of us. Appears they bribed/convinced the remaining staff team nothing was or is wrong so we have no alibi and it’s 2 peeps against an entire company. They just make lies up left right and centre to cover there tracks.

there are still ways of tipping off journalists, competitors (anonymously if need be). Often charities and similar “right on” organisations can do this as they have surplus time/money which is not found in normal private business. Be slightly careful, though its not quite as illegal as torching your ex bosses property there are still slander/libel laws. However, charities also don’t like to be exposed as spending their donors money on legal cases trying to silence free speech…

[1 The Psyentist @the-psyentist Member]

Hmm charity. The word is being made a mockery of in this instance. A none profit organization where the CEO is on 60,000 plus a year and the incompetent buffoons in human resources are on about 30k where as the carers at the bottom doing the most work are seemingly limitlessly expendable on 13k. Pisses me off too that the poor individuals with autism come off worst as they have little understanding of why staff keep coming and going meaning their level of care is inconsistent which for someone with autism can be highly distressing and even have a profound affect on the rest of their lives. First time experiences for these guys are crucial, if something is bad the first time they have the expectation of a negative outcome each time. For the record the company is Autism Initiatives. If you have a family member or know somebody who does have autism don’t put them under their care.

[1 Pat McDonald @pat-mcdonald Participant]

Well, it appears to me you have 2 options – keep fighting or move on.

Starting your own autism charity would appear to be an option – you could go self employed and hire your services out to your former employer.

If they’re that stuck for staff, they might not have a choice.

“Revenge is sweet. But not fattening”.

It’s not just you, the general principle is now, all bosses will bully and intimidate their staff to get what they want.

UK society has been 100% class war since 1066. Only now, the underprivaleged are in a much better position than the serfs of yesteryear.

It’s lonely at the top. Don’t think bosses have it at all easy.

[1 Tank Girl @tank-girl Member]

geez, sound similar to the ‘company’ I currently work for and am in the process of leaving due to an inabiility to agree with their ethics, they even hinted at offering me a payrise to keep me and I had great pleasure in telling them I am indeed taking a pay cut of quite a few grand to leave!!

anyway back to you- pretty much similar to what Pat says

you have choices –
you can hold on to the anger and negative emotions and do nothing (but this doesnt sound helpful)

you can acceppt that you had a difficult time, they are cunts and move on (this sounds more helpful)

you can do something (Legal) that may help you feel better about the situation- but thinking about arson etc really isnt helpful and arson fucks you up TOTALLY when you have a record for it – its one of the worse

You can remember you girlfiend is CHOOSING to work for this company and this is her choice and although you can listen to her she ultimatley has responsibilty for continuing to work in this organisation, and if she does she has too deal with it – it is not your responsibility to solve her issues now

you can support her emotionally but you do not need to resolve her difficulties – this is p to her
It sounds as if this is the only difficult area in your relationship? so maybe focus onthe more helpful areas ofthe relationship and build upon them and tell her how you are feeling, as she CHOOSES to be with you too! :group_hug

[1 Tank Girl @tank-girl Member]

Also if they are doing something illegal you can report them to the police and they will investigate, my friend resorted to doing this with a charity he worked for who he believes were commiting fraud and the police are investigating. they take this sort of thing very serious these days – esp after thngs such as winterbourne.

and there should be a whislte blowing policy at her work and she can check this out
https://www.gov.uk/whistleblowing/overview

as utlimatley she is still working there she is the one who should be doing something about it now if it is still going on, I guess, not you

[1 The Psyentist @the-psyentist Member]

Thank you Tankerbell. (hope you don’t mind me calling you that lol)

That’s twice you’ve made me feel a bit better with your post :horay:

[1 cheeseweasel @cheeseweasel Participant]

[1 The Psyentist @the-psyentist Member]

Back again. This wasn’t meant to be my crisis thread specifically but it’s starting to look that way lol. Ok, my latest problem is the return of an old nemesis. I felt out with my old group of friends around the same time I got with my current girlfriend. The reason we split was they started sniffing too much beak, a drug I’ve never been a fan of, and it was fuckin their heads to point where they had nothing to say for themselves unless high. One guy owed me £50 and when I asked for it back he became extremely aggressive sayin he owed me nothing. At the time I sure as hell wanted a fight but had my job, partner and home to think about to so I was tactful and found none violent ways of getting my money back but my beef stuck with him. Unfortunately he’s one of those sad chavvy wannabe gangster wankers which makes him more dangerous as he has nothing to lose. The problem lies in the fact that he’s been sleeping with the gf of one of my last true friends. Understandabley he’s asking for my support but I’m reluctant to reignite this beef as it won’t be a one night brawl cos everyone’s gotta be so fuckin gangster. Do I help my mate and take this geezer out but risk the repercussions or let it slide again? Baring in mind all my life I’ve been submissive to this sort of violent shit but each time I do I seem to come out of it expressing more sociopathic behavior afterwards. I’d figured that out myself and worryingly (I think) my psychiatrist agrees. Fucked up, what do I do?

[1 The Psyentist @the-psyentist Member]

Bottom line is direct physical aggression towards the cunt that deserves it or risk jeopardizing a bit more of my mental health probably resulting in the long run in me hurting an undeserving victim.

[1 MC G-Tek @mc-g-tek Member]

@The Psyientist 505005 wrote:

Bottom line is direct physical aggression towards the cunt that deserves it or risk jeopardizing a bit more of my mental health probably resulting in the long run in me hurting an undeserving victim.

Not trying to incite violence here mate, but it seems to me that if it were a choice between battering some cunt who really deserves it, or harming somebody who’s just in the wrong place at the wrong time, it’s a no-brainer. If violence has to be used, better it be used against the appropriate person, that way, if you end up going to court for it, you’re not up for doing someone innocent, and hopefully the judge would take the extenuating circumstances into account.

That said though, if your mate hasn’t ditched his girlfriend over this (let’s be honest, she’s as guilty as your former friend in this situation – it takes 2 to tango and she coulda just said no and kept her legs shut), then that to me would seem a little odd. Be safe dude, all the best.

[1 Savvydravvy @savvydravvy Member]

Can your mate not just one on one fight this guy? The only reason you should be dragging yourself into a situation like that is because the chavvy cokehead gangster sounds like he needs a good kicking!…which isnt really a good enough reason to risk it.

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