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I have a date this Thursday, i am trying not to feel so freckin nervous, i have been single for over a year and a half, been having loadsa fun being a loon and enjoying the freedom after a 7 year relationship. It’s scary cause i don’t want to hurt no one cause i’m kinda frigid and tend to push people away that fall in love with me, have realised though that i gotta stop pushing love away and trust that even if things go wrong that at least i will learn something. It’s kinda nice to know someone appreciates me and i guess it’s time to just let go and have fun. :you_crazy :bounce_g:
go and have fun:bounce_fl:bounce_fl:bounce_fl
Thanks Raj, he’s a party animal too which is good, he loves travelling and is really down to earth, he is strong minded enough to kick my butt too so it should be interesting, haha, we are both really shy too but hey i am looking forward to having a laugh at the least. raaa :head_to_h :biggreen:
what doent kill us makes us stronger
so be positive and hey the best date ever is just round the corner.
Hey it was the best date i have had in ages, had such a laugh with my daughter, niece and nephew in the forest, made him lunch and celebrated his birthday cause he hadn’t even had cake, then took me to dinner for a thai meal and ended up at at mates reggae night. He knew a few of my friends from ages ago. He spent 2 days with me, although nothing happened between us we really got to know alot about each other. The next day he left to tour Europe for 6 weeks, we stayed in touch, i really felt close to him but when he got back he was really busy with work and although i was gonna spend my birthday with him, he never got back in touch. Not nice feeling to be forgotten about, especially when it felt good, but i guess we do live to far apart maybe. Hey it was good but i guess it just wasn’t meant to be, maybe i got alot more loving myself to do pfffftttt life huh ARGH live and learn and grow and stuff:crazy_diz :bounce_g: raaa :weee:
love out to us all xxx
dont know if this is in the same theme but….
the first time i did extasy was at a friends party and this guy phoned me up just after id dropped to ask me out the next day, i agreed and him being rather preppie planned some whole day out that started at 9am the next day. got v. messy that night and ened up not going to sleep so when he picked me up my friends shoved some sunglasses on me and hoped for the best. He wanted to play tennis (which i manged to do for an hour) we then went out to a restaurant for luch (i ordered a massive pile of food before realising i really couldnt eat a thing) and by this stage the comedown was kicking in, and the conversation was waning. he didnt do drugs of any sort so i culdnt explain why or how i was feeling. he then took me to the cinema but before that we had to go for a drink to wait were we sat not talkin. unfortunately my friends in there pilled up state had invited him back to the party (which was stil going) so we turned up and my mates house had begun to resemble a crack den with some ppl wandering around, others passed out on the floor and no one in a sober state. soemone also mentioned to him id being doing pills the night before- he stayed for about ten minutes and that was the end of that.
Rachele i think it’s really important to be open and honest with the person who wants to know you more, otherwise you aren’t gonna meet someone who accepts you for who you are.
I went on a date with a guy i had alot in common with, except i have a wider taste in music, i go to free parties and although i personally don’t need drugs many of my friends enjoy them. After i went on an 80’s night with him and enjoyed myself i took him took him a friends techno and d n b night and he hated it and didn’t accept my mates, although i later discovered he ended up doing drugs himself that night, so i am glad that i had got him a taxi and carried on enjoying myself. I would have given up the free party scene if he would have been more accepting of my friends. Later that night after dancing the night away i met a punk who i got on really well with, he assured me he wasn’t on drugs when i asked him, and he asked me out. We got to know each other and i really fell for him, he was so much fun. He started spending nights with me and i soon discovered he was an alcoholic. As i was falling in love with him and he hadn’t shown me a violent side i thought i could deal with it. I don’t know if it was my acceptance of his alcoholism or if i hadn’t noticed but he got back into Heroin. After so many years i thought i had found my soulmate who was as crazy as me and didn’t need drugs, oh how wrong and i was, what followed was the most f*cked up relationship i have ever had. The amazing sex was so not worth it.. pfft oh well back to square one and i guess i had my share of loving for a long time to come.
agreed, although it makes it a bit more difficult; I’m quite shy but try and conduct myself decently, so I meet a lot of girls/women (even “hippy girls”) who think I am a decent chap until they find out I’m still raving and hanging around in squats / going to illegal parties at this age (even though I look way younger) – some seem to think I am an “overgrown chav” a “closet junkie” or just “dodgy” because lots of my friends are way younger than me and I haven’t “grown up” yet (and don’t intend doing so for a few more years yet as far as partying is concerned..)
I agree GL it can make it more difficult but better to hold out for summat really good than settle for summat which isn’t really you yes?
Whilst you’re trying to be something else for someone else who doesn’t really love you you may well be missing that person who could blow your brains away.
Also – who says it has to be permanent to be perfect?! :wink::wink::wink:
Whilst you’re trying to be something else for someone else who doesn’t really love you you may well be missing that person who could blow your brains away.
Also – who says it has to be permanent to be perfect?! :wink::wink::wink:
true, but its starting to worry me a bit – it seems to be a lot easier to find a relationship if you lead a “normal” life, particularly if you are a bit older….
on the rave scene, particularly round here a lot of the girls are very young, often around 16-18 which is a bit too young for me, I feel a bit uncomfortable about flirting with them (and am usually not in a fit state to chat anybody up anyway at a rave :laugh_at:).
All the other girls/women I meet seem to have settled down by their mid 20s and either have kids already and many don’t want to go raving any more…
From speaking to lots of my male friends many are in this situation, a lot (even younger chaps) just cave in and change their lifestyles just to keep a relationship going, but I am too stubborn I suppose..
All the other girls/women I meet seem to have settled down by their mid 20s and either have kids already and many don’t want to go raving any more…
From speaking to lots of my male friends many are in this situation, a lot (even younger chaps) just cave in and change their lifestyles just to keep a relationship going, but I am too stubborn I suppose..
I have been noticing a lot of my friends my age are in long term relationships and a couple have kids, Dam even my little sister has settled down with her BF and have a little sprog due soon.
I would never change my life to suit a girl, no matter how nice they are. I do what i do in my life as its what makes me happy. I could change to meet what a girl wants but who says that it will last? Then you will have missed out on some great nights out. A little give and take would be needed as people are all different.
The problem i have found with meeting people at a rave, party on the lash, is that its not quite them. A few beers etc and you become a slightly different person. The whole dating game thing is sooo boring, i dont even bother with going out “on the pull” as it never works out like that. Just a normal night out and just enjoy yourself, who knows where you will find someone for yourself!
😉
on the rave scene, particularly round here a lot of the girls are very young, often around 16-18 which is a bit too young for me, I feel a bit uncomfortable about flirting with them (and am usually not in a fit state to chat anybody up anyway at a rave :laugh_at:).
All the other girls/women I meet seem to have settled down by their mid 20s and either have kids already and many don’t want to go raving any more…
From speaking to lots of my male friends many are in this situation, a lot (even younger chaps) just cave in and change their lifestyles just to keep a relationship going, but I am too stubborn I suppose..
I think this is not exclusive to raving GL.
When I was a re-enactor [which I did for 12 years; for a while towards the end alongside raving] I found that many of the people I knew had coupled up and had kids when they were in their 20s and more than a few relationships have foundered on the sharp rocks of reality leaving kids with single parents.
In the re-enactment groups it is the events themselves which become the issue [rather than drug use] as one partner is usually much keener than the other….and this leads to arguements about going to the events :you_crazy and whether or not the man [usually] is allowed to go away for the weekend and leave the woman and kids at home [usually cos she cant be arsed to go through the upheavel of going away and all the crap they need to take with them for a weekend [they are almost always camping events :groucho:].
I think that the problem of all consuming lifestyles [raving, re-enacting, serious motorbike [go to rallies and spend as much time with their bikes as possible] etc] is that the lifestyle itself becomes the issue [with or without the additional issue of illegal and/or legal drugs] as they consume all our free time and we are happy for them to do this. Partners often feel they play second fiddle to our hobbies….
I certainly am as least as stubborn as you GL and equally as reluctant to give up what I wanted to do for a partner – eventually I found a partner who was happy to let me do these things and even participate actively. You may be interested to know that the lifestyle we kept at the end of the day was their favourite not mine at the time we met but I am very happy to have done that as their hobby [raving] is far more fun than my one was raaaraaaraaa
I don’t think about guys when i’m at a free party, thank goodness i guess cause i am sure after dancing all night i diffinately don’t look appealing. I dunno maybe i will calm down one day, but for now my daughter doesn’t mind me partying so that’s all that matters. I meet some really wikkid guys at parties but i don’t really bump into them in everyday life. I dunno i doubt i would go out with someone that wanted me to completely stop partying but i guess i would calm it down naturally. I think it’s good to have some different interests in a relationships, time out on your own is good for ya imo.
I am to hyper for my age i guess, oh well sh*t happens …….
on the rave scene, particularly round here a lot of the girls are very young, often around 16-18 which is a bit too young for me, I feel a bit uncomfortable about flirting with them (and am usually not in a fit state to chat anybody up anyway at a rave :laugh_at:).
All the other girls/women I meet seem to have settled down by their mid 20s and either have kids already and many don’t want to go raving any more…
From speaking to lots of my male friends many are in this situation, a lot (even younger chaps) just cave in and change their lifestyles just to keep a relationship going, but I am too stubborn I suppose..
I agree, I look around and see the same thing. I may have significant others but i’m not married and havent any children and most people my age are and/or do.
I get what your saying but look at it this way if getting that relationship and settling down were really what you wanted, wouldn’t you have done them already?
You may not be doing it consciously but your actions are making a choice for you.
As long as you’re being honest with yourself about what you are doing, why you are doing it and the consequences of your choices then you’re on the right track.
And if you are actually happy with your life the way it is why is getting that relationship important? Biological need (ie getting broody), social expectations and/or being afraid of being alone aren’t reasons to settle (in my opinion).
Its swings and roundabouts, every state (be it being single, being lovers or being married) has its good times and its bad ones.
An I have to say GL at least you’re male, if you stay unmarried at least you’ll have the ‘ungettable bachelor’ cachet whilst i’ll just be an ‘old spinster on the shelf’! 😉 😉 😉
When I was a re-enactor
I certainly am as least as stubborn as you GL and equally as reluctant to give up what I wanted to do for a partner – eventually I found a partner who was happy to let me do these things and even participate actively. You may be interested to know that the lifestyle we kept at the end of the day was their favourite not mine at the time we met but I am very happy to have done that as their hobby [raving] is far more fun than my one was raaaraaaraaa
Well said Raj and what re-enacting did you do? I did some SOSCAM, totally mad bunch of people :crazy: , totally different to my partying crowd but still a good (if a tad surreal) laugh :laugh_at: :crazy_diz :laugh_at: :crazy_diz :laugh_at:
That’s a bit strange actually, looking back on it re-enacting was wierder (in a very odd sort of way) than being completely trolleyed on allsorts :laugh_at: :laugh_at: :laugh_at:
was that addressed to me? dont get me wrong i agree with u bout the honesty etc but that was just a teenage date- and i also dnt think so people whove never taken e (this is a generalisation) wud be comfortable hangin around with people who are on it (as u do act pretty weirdly and look it lol) i have been out with guys who are crackheads to UN laywers it doesnt bother me and im honest about wat i get upto. i think its important to find someone who has the same intrests as you but also others cos then u can build up a friendship….which is the key to a successful relationship. Anyway hope ur havin fun! rxxx
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Forums › Love, Sex & Relationships › Dating & Personals › Dates Gone Wrong
