Best dating story i have seen was an incident that happened to a mate of mine which he posted on his myspace.Its a true classic.
My recent date from the LOOT
Current mood: 
calm
Category: Life
So there I am, looking for a playstation2 in the Loot, I’ve been single for about 6 months and am dying for a shag so I decide to flick to the Dating section (what I got to loose?). I see an ad that I like so I ring it and leave a message, the next day I get a reply and decide to go on a blind date in Clapham Junction. With nerves running high I meet the woman in Cafe Nero and we go for a pint, she’s kinda hot too which was nice. Within the second hour of us meeting she asked me a question “What’s your favourite sexual position?”, after spitting out my mouth full of beer I reply “errr….ummmm….dunno, I like ’em all i guess”, she then proceeds to reach for her handbag, unzips it and pulls out a Ken and a Barbie and starts undressing them! The pub is packed people start to stare, “do you like this position Brad?” She bends Barbie over a pint glass and Ken starts shagging her from behind “ohhh Ken….ohhh Barbie” says the bird imitating the TOYS! “ohhh Brad arrrgghhh Brad ooohhhh Brad!” says the bird imitating ME! This goes on for a good 60 seconds, the longest 60 seconds of my life! I look around the room to see the whole pub staring at me, her, Ken and Barbie! I look at the people, look at the fucking toys and look up at her, her eyes crazy her laugh MAD! I was outta there like the Flash, looking behind only once to find Barbie sitting on Kens face, and some beer froth had been added to imitate their pubes.
@paulfh 140550 wrote:
Best dating story i have seen was an incident that happened to a mate of mine which he posted on his myspace.Its a true classic.
My recent date from the LOOT
Current mood:
Category: Life
So there I am, looking for a playstation2 in the Loot, I’ve been single for about 6 months and am dying for a shag so I decide to flick to the Dating section (what I got to loose?). I see an ad that I like so I ring it and leave a message, the next day I get a reply and decide to go on a blind date in Clapham Junction. With nerves running high I meet the woman in Cafe Nero and we go for a pint, she’s kinda hot too which was nice. Within the second hour of us meeting she asked me a question “What’s your favourite sexual position?”, after spitting out my mouth full of beer I reply “errr….ummmm….dunno, I like ’em all i guess”, she then proceeds to reach for her handbag, unzips it and pulls out a Ken and a Barbie and starts undressing them! The pub is packed people start to stare, “do you like this position Brad?” She bends Barbie over a pint glass and Ken starts shagging her from behind “ohhh Ken….ohhh Barbie” says the bird imitating the TOYS! “ohhh Brad arrrgghhh Brad ooohhhh Brad!” says the bird imitating ME! This goes on for a good 60 seconds, the longest 60 seconds of my life! I look around the room to see the whole pub staring at me, her, Ken and Barbie! I look at the people, look at the fucking toys and look up at her, her eyes crazy her laugh MAD! I was outta there like the Flash, looking behind only once to find Barbie sitting on Kens face, and some beer froth had been added to imitate their pubes.
omg i cant believe u did that….she sounds like one proper dirty bitch!!! u cud have had some serious shagging with her then fucked her off, but then again the following could have happened:
My worst date has to be the following:
I was out with my mates in a pub, pissed as i was i got some birds number (note i couldnt remember at the time what the fuck she looked like). The rest of the night proceeded like any other.
The next day i start getting texts from someone in my phone called ‘jill’, and i arrange to meet up with her…..im still majorly hungover from whatever drink/drugs i have taken the night before so decided on a cunning plan……ill have some coke and bring some pills out when i go meet her.
We meet up in this local shitty pub and from the minute i walk in im like ‘wow, shes fuckin hot!’. The night goes well, we go for a chinese (we didnt plan to just happened and somehow i eat altho having lots of coke) we get pissed as hell and end up taking a load of drugs together and having a 3-day shag session, fueled by drink and various drugs.
Now you may ask whats so bad about that story, well in the process of those 3 days she met my father, got invited to my step-sisters christening by his wife and proceeded to tell everyone at the christening she was madly in love with me and that well be together forever! oh and i must have spent over £500 on 1 weekends fun!
My dad was shocked when i told him id just met her, something i forgot to mention in my drug induced state when he met her……but just laughed his head off, the cunt, when i told him.
Needless to say i had the clingiest (and hottest) bunny boiler i had ever met stuck to me for the next month or so……while i tried to get away from her. She wouldnt listen when i told her she was dumped, i treat her like shit etc etc etc and she basically turned into a fuckin stalker! a stalker which still texts me every now and then, ‘by mistake’ of course when i tell her to fuck off!
She used to ring me constantly and put phone down when i answer, stand outside my flat to see if i had any girls back, even get with my mates to try make me jealous……once had a 3-sum with them. made my life fucking hell.
That was a close run with the millionaire i was seeing for a bit, she was just that ugly i couldnt keep going with it….it was cruel.
