Forums › Life › Health & Medicine › Depression › Depression!
I was v. v. moody for several months, my partner nearly left me several times. But it was something i had to do for myself, never really had anybody i could rely on b4 my partner so i just bit the bullet and let it pass. Didnt like the feeling of taking a pill to feel normal (well actually i felt permanently stoned on seroxat, like id had a skunk spliff about an hour ago all the time)
I knew i was ready to come off them so i did.
doc said i would have to gradually reduce dose over a few months, but moodiness was still a big prob.
yea doc said i had to reduce it slowly. but it gave me live electric shocks in the head lol, sounds funny but it scary as fuck. and i got migrains and the depression seemed worse so i carried on takin them. what sorta dose was u on?
I honestly cant remember the dose iwas on, it was in 94 and i was on them for about 7-8 months.
april is spot on, exercise is an amazing source of natural highs, the endorphines released proper sort you out. going and being active when your depressed can be daunting, but if you wanna feel better, it definitely works.
I’m reminded of a quote from the film Riff-Raff by Ken Loach.
A guys girlfriend complains of being depressed and she asks him if he never get depressed, he looks at her incredulously and replies “I’m working class, I’ve got no time to get depressed, I’ve got an early start for work in the morning”
hahaha! so true….
post migraine depression is here :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
isnt it enough that i get the migraines ?
here are some links on depression i found while roaming :groucho:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression
http://www.depressionalliance.org/
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?articleId=127§ionId=20560
and a page which includes self tests to determine how likely it is you are depressed
Truth is, no one gives a shit unless your going to kill yourself, and no one cares unless your self harming. You talk to a counseler they only raise thier head if you say ‘knife’ ‘blade’ ‘cut’ ‘hit’ ‘die’. If you say ‘cry’ ‘trapt’ ‘confused’ ‘worthless’ ‘scared’ etc. it means fuck all to them, You’ve gotta fuckin go the full 100 yards to recive any serious help and thats frightening. No wonder theres all these 13 year olds self harming and taking overdoses, thats the only way they get heard. When i was 12-14 i had a horrible depression what hit me all the time, alone or with people, it was beacuse of non stop bad luck and my world seemed to cave in around me. Basically it was an average teenagers extreme depression where you cry till your hyperventilationg, cant breathe and occasionally are sick. I tried to kill myself 3 times in 2 of thoses years and inbetween that i was self harming, pulling apart my dads disposable razors and useing the blades. The last time i tryied to do it i was silly and took 15 neurofen, i had no idea thatd do fuck all at the time, but taking 15 of a pill shows how determined i was. And when i was in hospital i had to see a pshyciatrist before i left. This is what shocked me, they ask fucking stupid questions like, ‘do you hear voices?’ ‘do you have urges to – ‘ ‘do you sometimes see things you think are strange’ just stuff like that, then they say ‘are you going to try and kill yourself again?’ if you say no they say ‘jolly good, see you next time’ basically. But they gave me a counserler, counselers are fucking useless if you’ve actully got a problem. There just normal people, with no experiance of what youve been through there just give shit weak advise on how do improve your life. Its like if i wanted to improve my life id join a yoga class and read the bible. I didnt like talking to someone who does understand fuck all and they argue your own feelings at you. I just went in one day saying im fine, im perfect, everythings lovely, then they let me go. But now ive never been so low in my life.
Obveiously E doent help in the long run, but im now 24/7 depressed, i cant tell what mood i am anymore. Im never ok, happy, fine, i cant telll weather im happy anymore, if i thing ‘how am i feeling?’ all i get is depressed and i could cry at any given moment. The trouble is i have no reason to my lifes perfect, im heading for a well paid job, im engaged, i have the most careing trustworthy friends in the world, im out everynight but im constantly depressed. You could say im ungrateful but i dont want anything more, i dont want anything at all. Nothing works for me, i get into the spiral of questions like: whats the point of dancing? wats the point of getting all excited about getting money just to spend it on clothes or other useless shit? no one actullty cares or notices, and if they do, well done someone wants to fuck you. And wats the point of that? just reproduce and pop out another useless life? – it goes on and on and on like that in an endless spiral. I cant explain it too too well as im not in that extreme of the mood at the momment, but no matter what anyone says to try and get me out of it it doesnt work, even the thought of, getting a family and being loved that means fuck alll to me coz whats the point? or wats the point of a good job and money? your only workin for the same shitty system. Anyone ever got that sorta depression? because depression is, you dont see a future. But i see a future and i fucking hate it, i wish i could live in the moment coz the futures killing me. Another thing is i DONT want to kill myself, that doesnt accomplish anything, i feel like dieing isnt good enough i need something more, plus im scared of dieing coz you dunno wats on the other side. I see killing yourself is your takin the piss outta life, and your ungrateful, i see you kill yourself you will be punished, weather it be darkness for eternity or watever. I wont kill myself, i do see a future, but this isnt a sympotom of depression, so i cant be taken seriously, i cant get help coz ‘im just some kid with a problem’. It infuriates me that i have to try and kill myself or self harm to get the help i need and i wont be doing that id rather live with it than start attension seeking. Im taking a break of pills, to stop the never knowing my feeling thing, but the questionative spiral i had that even before i started doing E. Ima bit fucked basically, ive gotta live with a depressive shit feeling life
TBH I felt pretty much exactly the same way as you from age 16 until mid 20s – and being a typical straight male I dealt with it the “blokes way” a lot of the time – by taking the fight back to society, committing various acts of criminality, anti-social behaviour and sabotage. Looking back at it I was lucky not to end up in jail or other institutions..
I can easily see why young men get drawn into gang activity or even terrorist activity if someone recruits them at a turbulent time in your life..
I agree with a lot of what you say about counsellors; I’ve had them on my case and most of the time they are judging you and trying to mould you into a typical middle england form of life, even if they claim to be “right on”
I had a lot of feelings of anger/powerlessness when I was younger; and have always felt like an “outsider” (still find it hard to open up to peopel and talk to them even today).
I was the only Asian in my peer group (I don’t normally play the race card but Britain wasn’t as multicultural in the mid 1980s as it was until recently) – at the time I was also being torn between a lot of parental/family pressure to study hard and a desire to party, plus I also grew up when it seemed the future was pointless, we could have been blown up by atomic war at any point…
OTOH you are actually coping quite well – considering that you are surviving in what can be the most bitter, unfriendly and violent parts of “Londonistan” ….where kids kill each other for no fucking reason every weekend (the violence was just brewing up when I left Eltham in 1992, a few weeks before Stephen Lawrence got killed) – and where it is less safe for girls and women than even 10 years ago..
you seem to be doing well in life and have got many who love you…in a city otherwise full of hate
a lot of this 24 hour depression is the rebound from MDMA.
People like us often take the stuff to make ourselves more confident etc when we are feeling a bit shy etc but there is always the rebound effect as our minds/bodies can only take so much.
stopping doing so much drugs is one step.
trying to concentrate on the good things in life is another………. it is hard and life can be shit but if you keep concentrating on how bad things are you can end up losing the good things in life as you transfer the negativity everywhere you go. hard to explain in text and sounds like hippy shit but I’ve seen it happen to people I know..
you don’t need to put on an air of “false optimism” (IMO thats worse than being a pessimist) but you can be happy but realistic about what you can achieve with your life.
For instance for years I wanted to work in the media.
A few years ago I even got a job as an engineer in the TV industry; but got made redundant due to the industry downsizing …. It was hard to cope with at first seeing all the paths to your dreams/future basically being virtually destroyed but eventually I got used to it, and found outlets for my creativity through free parties and this website.
Even then its not easy as there are constant clampdowns on this culture from the police/authorities…
there will be loads of blocks to your ambitions (although you haven’t said what they are) but we need to adapt and evolve to survive.. there are usually ways of getting round most things..
without going into loads of detail
i went through exactly what you are going through and worse
the turning point didn’t come for a long time.. i spent years bumming around the world… somethingtodo
positivity came when i started working for an organisation that has an ethos similar to my own… money isn’t important, as long as you can live
hang in there… get a bike
sosomething that means something to you
Im no crie starting chav, and im certainly not bored. My problem isnt as simple as you’ve judged. I dont want to do anything, i dont want to change anything.
Being a cunt and making other people scared and making ther enviroment a nasty place to live in for other people really doesnt tickle my fancy. Finding a ‘one true love’ thing dont satisfy me, ive got all my grades and more i can do anything with my life i can do anything, i know what i wanna do with a passion and im doing it, im studing in all my free time and i like it. But im not satisfied, everythings perfect but i dont se the point in doing it? getting all happy about the job your in, or the people around you means fuck all. Like well done you work for the system, you do what every single person in the human race does, but for what? I stick all this shit to the back of my head coz no one can understand me, it all comes back with weak, obveious answers what really cant persuade my brain to listen to. i need a better answer
TBH I think a lot of people do actually feel like that (particularly in London and other large cities) and as you said yourself put it to the back of their minds; but there really isn’t a better answer. It might be an age thing; by their mid 20s most people accept “well life isn’t gonna get any better”
Your life currently is a good as life will ever get for most teenagers and is way better than most teenagers growing up on the shitty estates and crime-ridden streets of places Peckham, Lewisham , Eltham, Plumstead and Bexleyheath… (I spent a lot of time there in my youth)
I was certainly not suggesting that you commit crime to deal with comedowns and depression etc but I reckon a lot of people are doing that where you live as some of the things that go down in your manor such as people being killed for fuck all other than being in the wrong “ends” can’t be rationally explained otherwise. there have always been gangs and gang fights but the hate and violence on the streets is far worse than even the 90s. This does affect the decent people and harden their hearts.
I do think the surroundings you live in can affect you. Since moving out of a city area to the country I have been feeling noticeably happier; despite having to leave a lot of friends behind and even my pet cat (I’ve met some good new people though)
I’m not a doctor but even though you’ve had previous feelings of depression the only recent change in your life seems to be MDMA use – and you and your friends do quantities of the stuff that quite frankly frightens me and I’ve been raving for some time.
In another thread it seems you’ve realised the risks of doing to much MDMA and are cutting down – definitely do that; you may even need to (temporarily) change the groups of people you are hanging around with to avoid temptation, or maybe even encourage them all to do less.
And you do actually need to try and think more positively; accept your life as it is and put the bad feelings to the back of your head; it is hard (TBH I am very cynical and angry about life still) but there is a danger that if you concentrate on all the bad stuff you will end up taking out those negative emotions on those close to you and lose out on the good things in your life.
shaikar:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug:group_hug
i know where you are at – have been there and it is not remembered fondly
i got out of it by asking myself:
who am i?
and
what do i want?
[at the time i no longer knew what made me happy and just couldnt be arsed with anything as i felt nothing i did made any difference:crazy_diz :crazy_diz :crazy_diz i was doing things because they made other people happy and they were the wrong things for me]
[if i am barking up the wrong tree or in the wrong forest please let me know ]
Found this article while browsing and thought some of us might find it useful:
A number of nutrients, including polyunsaturated fatty acids, St. John’s Wort and several B vitamins, have the potential to influence mood by increasing the absorption of chemical messengers in the brain, Dr. Dianne Volker of the University of Sydney in Chippendale and Jade Ng of Goodman Fielder Commercian in North Ryde, New South Wales note in the journal Nutrition and Dietetics.
There is a wealth of epidemiological, experimental and circumstantial evidence to suggest that fish and the oils they contain, in particular omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acid, are protective against depression, Volker and Ng write. They point out that the balance between omega-3 and omega-6 may also be important, given that the latter can prevent the body from absorbing the former.
© Reuters 2006
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Forums › Life › Health & Medicine › Depression › Depression!
