FML: F*ck My Life! - Party Vibe

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FML: F*ck My Life!

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February 18, 2009 at 12:08 pm

#695026
1

process

@process

Member
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he’d made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, “Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!” He looked at me and replied, “How about some blue shut the fuck up!”.

:laugh_at:
February 18, 2009 at 12:12 pm

#917626
1

pixiegirl

@pixiegirl

Member
djprocess;308642 wrote:

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he’d made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, “Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!” He looked at me and replied, “How about some blue shut the fuck up!”.

:laugh_at:

:lol_fast: :laugh_at: Priceless.
February 18, 2009 at 12:15 pm

#917614
1

process

@process

Member
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad.

FML!

:laugh_at: :hopeless:

Today, I called my Grandmother to wish her a Happy Valentines Day. She asked me If I had a date lined up. I didn’t. Before I could explain why, she responded with “Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!” Thanks Grandma, I’m not gay.

FML!

:laugh_at: :laugh_at:
February 18, 2009 at 12:19 pm

#917615
1

process

@process

Member
Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he leaves. I waited 5, in the card it said “it’s not working out, but here’s 20$”.

FML!
February 18, 2009 at 12:33 pm

#917633
6

Angel

@angel

Moderator
Staff
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it.

FML!

:laugh_at::laugh_at:
February 18, 2009 at 12:43 pm

#917635
1

DaftFader

@daftfader

Participant
Today, I got a “save the date” card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, “I got your STD!” and hit send before I realized how that sounded.

FML!

pmsl :laugh_at:
February 21, 2009 at 8:38 am

#917618
1

benbear

@benbear

Member
Today I was caught wanking by my mum,

She said

” O I do feel sorry for your next girlfriend “

😥
February 21, 2009 at 2:23 pm

#917619
1

GiantMidget

@giantmidget

Member
Angel;308646 wrote:

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it.

FML!

:laugh_at::laugh_at:

Sounds familiar.
March 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm

#917604
[deleted]

@[deleted]

Guest
[YT]lrYqHeH_Pk8[/YT]
March 5, 2009 at 9:38 am

#917627
1

O-D

@o-d

Member
Yesterday I lost my wallet and got worried that I left it down the pub the night before and gotten nicked as the landlords never found it.
I phoned up the bank to report it lost and just as the woman said the card has been blocked I find my wallet under some books on my desk.
Now I have to wait 10 working days for a new card to come through.

FML.
March 5, 2009 at 12:37 pm

#917636
1

DaftFader

@daftfader

Participant
O-D;311884 wrote:

Yesterday I lost my wallet and got worried that I left it down the pub the night before and gotten nicked as the landlords never found it.
I phoned up the bank to report it lost and just as the woman said the card has been blocked I find my wallet under some books on my desk.
Now I have to wait 10 working days for a new card to come through.

FML.

the amount of time i have seen that happen to friends :laugh_at:
(i would never be stupuid enough to do this :wink::crazy_dru)
March 5, 2009 at 12:41 pm

#917621
1

p0ly

@p0ly

Participant
O-D;311884 wrote:

Yesterday I lost my wallet and got worried that I left it down the pub the night before and gotten nicked as the landlords never found it.
I phoned up the bank to report it lost and just as the woman said the card has been blocked I find my wallet under some books on my desk.
Now I have to wait 10 working days for a new card to come through.

FML.

and then ya lose a ten bag aswell, whereeeees youuur heeead at wheres ya head wheres ya head at at at at at
March 6, 2009 at 2:15 pm

#917628
1

O-D

@o-d

Member
p0lygon-Window;311930 wrote:

and then ya lose a ten bag aswell, whereeeees youuur heeead at wheres ya head wheres ya head at at at at at

I found it again.. I told you this! Why don’t you pay attention to me? ..is this what our relationship has come to? :hopeless:
March 6, 2009 at 2:41 pm

#917629
1

tartipants

@tartipants

Member
Dr Bunsen;311212 wrote:

[yt]lrYqHeH_Pk8[/yt]

Ahhhhhh I know that tune and yet cannot get the name of it…help!!!
March 6, 2009 at 5:42 pm

#917620
1

GiantMidget

@giantmidget

Member
I love the term “Fuck My Life” I used it today at the gym. They put some music on for me over the loudspeakers and when the cd skipped on a wicked tune i uttered the infamous words. Had the whole gym in stitches which i suppose wasn’t that many as there were only 6 of us. raaa
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