Party Vibe

eskimo on holliday in wales .
car breaks down.
welshman looks under the bonnet,
says”uve blown a seal”
eskimo says so what u f**k sheep

@DJCliffy 356763 wrote:

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the pavement, and says to him, “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.” The blind man replies, “If you would’ve put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus… so shut the fuck up.”

:laugh_at:

@dollydaydream 356766 wrote:

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks
over at his wife and says: ‘Your butt is getting really big, I mean really
big.. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.’

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and
then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s
bottom. ‘Yes, I was right; your butt is two inches wider than the
barbecue!!!’ The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes
some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. ‘What’s
wrong?’ he asked. …………..

She answers: ‘Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill
for one little sausage?

😉

The day the PENIS asked for a pay rise.

I hereby request a raise in salary, because, i do physical labour at great depths.
I dont get weekends or public hollidays off.
I work in a wet enviroment in a dark place that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures and my work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely P.Niss.

Response; After concidering your request and the arguments raised
we reject it for the following reasons.
You are part time and fall asleep after brief work periods.
You need to be stimulated into starting work.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift,
And dont observe safety rules such as protective clothing.
You cant work double shifts and you often dribble!
Yours sincerely V.Gina

@dollydaydream 356777 wrote:

You are part time and fall asleep after brief work periods.
You need to be stimulated into starting work.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift,
And dont observe safety rules such as protective clothing.
You cant work double shifts and you often dribble!
Yours sincerely V.Gina

:laugh_at::laugh_at:

@dollydaydream 356784 wrote:

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a
beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping
stops. The others look at him curiously.

“That’s my pager,” he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of
my arm.”

A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm
to his ear. When he finishes he explains, “That’s my mobile phone.
I have a microchip in my hand.”

The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending
from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows.

“I’m getting a fax,” he explains

reminds me of an article in bizarre magazine years ago – this guy had a light, a bell and a few other things like big ball bearings and stuff in his dick… :you_crazy

(and the batteries for the light were outside…..)

If a guy got that out for me I think I’d faint!! and i like piercings and some body mods…. but……

tried to find a link but couldnt

@1984 356799 wrote:

Never buy Bizarre at the airport to read on the plane, especially when its the “porn” special and you heading to the United Arab Emirates

:laugh_at::laugh_at::laugh_at:

I remember when me bro had to move home for 6 months (…………………….he lasted nearly 6 years!!!!! :you_crazy)

when we offered to help clean out the garage we found a few of me bro’s old bizarre magazines with the porn bits that are usually sealed ‘opened up’ mmmmmmm…. dad??? :laugh_at:

even worse when me dad had the screen of death…. a few times (blue screen thingy ) me mate went to fix it and said tell your dad to ‘ stop downloading dodgey porn mate’ :yakk::yakk:

eek :sign0068::sign0068::sign0068: