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  • Best way to leave your job:

    Dear Boss,
    What’s the difference between your wife and today?
    I’m not coming in today.

    i only know sick jokes

    What did Cinderella do when she
    got to the ball?
    She choked.

    I saw a sign in a public toilet yesterday. It said “Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would like to have found it in”. So I left a porno mag and a line of coke.

    lol saw this on facebook an laughed..

    “fake tan, fake eyes, fake hair, fake nails…. bitch are you sure ur not made in china?”

    @Fizzbombheid 394597 wrote:

    Not sure mate ? but i was at a charity disco last week in aid of women born without legs

    The dancefloor was crawling with fanny!

    ::bigsmile:
    Two fellas argueing over a bet, yer man says if ye drink a sip from that spitoon ye win, the other fella picks up the spitoon and swallows the lot, yer mans like ‘ jees what ye do that for ye only had ta take a sip?
    Sure i couldnt help it, it went down in one lump.

    @Moonie 404503 wrote:

    Best way to leave your job:

    Dear Boss,
    What’s the difference between your wife and today?
    I’m not coming in today.

    aaaaahahahaha

    Getting Ready For 2010:

    @bixi 414938 wrote:

    Getting Ready For 2010:

    Canabis is so last year man!

    You should see my 2011 stash!!! FUCK WEED

    Women are just like cartons of orange juice. Its not the shape or size that matters or even how sweet the juice is – its getting those fucking flaps open!!

    Why are there no ashtrays at Michael Barrymore’s house?

    Because He throws all his fags in the pool

    I bought a model of Allah for £2.50 at a car boot sale the other day and then sold it for £100 on ebay.

    What a prophet.

    Go on google translate and type ‘will Justin Bieber ever reach puberty?’ and translate to Vietnamese. Copy and paste the Vietnamese and translate it back to English.

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