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I bet my mate that he wouldn’t eat the contents of the ash tray, sat on our living room table earlier.I pissed my pants with laughter when he actually did it.It was then that my wife stuck her fingers down his throat,
screaming that he’d swallowed her mother.
i know a few girls that should be buying this
Just got back from the Blindfolded Masturbation World Championship
No idea where I came.
@GiantMidget 427370 wrote:
…
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. “Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. “OK, picture this; I’m naked, hiding inside a refrigerator….”
HAHAHAHA! lol, good one!
A blonde decides to commit suicide by hanging herself so she goes to the park and….2 days later a man is walking in the park and sees the blonde hanging on by a rope tied to her stomach. So he says “Ain’t that supposed to be around your neck”. And the blonde says “I tried that, but I couldn’t breathe.
When I was younger one of my teeth fell out while my Auntie Anne was babysitting for me.
She noticed I had placed my tooth under my pillow along with a spliff.
She said, “I don’t think the tooth fairy will be wanting a spliff.”
I replied, “Yes she will, she’s a Rasta fairy Anne.”
Costing only £85 per year, Ugg Boots are statistically the most reliable and best value female contraceptive.
I just took some pills and now my pupils look massive!
I really shouldn’t take hallucinogenic drugs while teaching.
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I asked my Gran “Have you seen my pills marked LSD?”
She said “Never mind your pills, have you seen that big green dragon in the kitchen?!”
haha :weee:
Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman
“What have u got there?”
Said the pieman unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cos he was gay.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could lick Jill’s fanny.
Jack got a shock
and a mouthful of cock
cos Jill’s a fucking tranny.
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Forums › Life › Jokes & Humour › Funny Jokes