i know i’ve been arrested a few times, i’m sure it’s single figures, but i was totally out of it on each occasion so it’s all a bit hazy… :s
the first time i do remember i was a teenager and had just bought an 1/8th from a pub, undercover had nothing better to do than follow me out and arrest me, i’d already clocked them and stuck the draw down my underpants, so their search revealed nothing, taken to station, sat around for a bit, they kept telling me to just ‘hand it over’ and get it over with, i remained adamant i had nothing (i have no idea why…)
i asked to see the duty solicitor, he saw me without police present etc., i asked for a glass of water, he turned his back on me and popped his head out of the door to ask the police if that was ok, meanwhile i grab the 1/8th outta my underpants and wedge it down my throat, fortunately i got the glass of water as the lump was stuck in my throat and was bloody hurting, managed to wash it down…
strip searched, nothing found, went back to the pub for a drink…
one other time i remember i was a student at uni, had drunk 200ml bottle of cough syrup containing dextromethorphan/dxm/whatever as the only active ingredient, then went down town to score some smoke,
police were following me on way back for some reason, i was totally out of it by this point, my adrenaline was pumping like crazy, the police motioned to pull me over but i was so confused i couldn’t work this out at the time so i continued on my way, they thought i was evading arrest and gave chase, even then i just thought that they were off on some emergency so eventually i decided to pull over to let them past, was very surprised when they pulled up behind me and another panda blocked the front, i came out congenial asking what the problem was, they slammed me on the bonnet, cuffed, down station, blah blah… got done for possession of a really crappy draw, at least it saved me from smoking the shit (it really was the shittiest weed in existence), somehow i managed to talk myself out of the other charges, only bad bit was being stuck in the cell all night while so completely wankered and fueled up…
of course the above is all fiction, why would i want to incriminate myself?
